* * * * *
Pacey looked as though he welcomed the break that Joey's words had given him. Dawson had stopped, finally standing up erect at the sound of Joey's voice. "What did you just say?"
"In the book," Joey said, swallowing hard when she saw a slight trickle of blood from the corner of Pacey's mouth, his swollen jaw. She could also see Dawson's black eye and a deep scratch on his arm. "I'm Kylie in the book," she continued. "Pacey didn't sleep with Andie."
"You shouldn't protect him, Jo," Dawson said calmly. "I'll feel much better if I can just kick his ass and get it over with."
Joey shook her head. "I'm sorry, Dawson. It really was me. Andie wouldn't do that to you. Pacey wouldn't do that to you."
"You saw what he said in the book," Dawson said, taking a step toward Joey. "He fell in love with her in high school, and even though they couldn't be together it just culminated and built until he couldn't take it anymore."
"It was me," she said again. "Pacey and I . . . well, we . . . we were together really briefly in high school, and it was . . . it just didn't work out. And I didn't even know that he felt this way, Dawson . . . I mean, I thought the same thing when I read the book about Andie . . . but when he told me, I understood that he was telling our history. But please don't be mad."
Dawson swallowed, looking up at her painfully. "Be mad at who? You or him?"
"Either of us," she replied.
Dawson looked down at Pacey, who had his eyes trained on a spot on the hardwood floor. "You slept with Joey," Dawson said softly, causing Pacey to look up at him briefly. Dawson shook his head, before looking back to Joey. "And you both lied to me."
"We never meant to--"
"God, I was so stupid," Dawson mumbled to himself. "I should've known."
"It was so small, Dawson, there's no way you could've known," Joey tried to explain.
"Stand up, Pacey," Dawson spat, looking down at his friend. Pacey did so, looking back at Dawson and waiting. "Don't touch her again."
"What?" Pacey asked, more confused than anything else.
"Don't touch her again," Dawson repeated.
"Dawson," Joey warned, not sure exactly how to say what she knew she needed to say.
"Who's going to protect you if I can't?" Dawson asked.
"I don't need protecting," she said plainly, surprised at the lack of defensiveness in her tone.
"Then what's there left for me to do?" Dawson asked defeatedly. "I'm getting married in less than forty-eight hours, and you're the best man and the maid of honor at my wedding. We've been best friends since we were little. And now I find out that you've both been hiding this huge part of your lives from me for years. I find out that Pacey took advantage of you, and that he's let everyone read his new book but me. I don't know anything about your lives."
Joey reached out, resting her hand on his arm before he flinched away. "Dawson, it's not what you think," she said, trying again. "We just didn't want to hurt you."
"Goal not accomplished," Dawson winced, glancing from Pacey and Joey then back again before walking out.
Joey started to go after him, but Pacey held her back. "I think he just needs time," he told her. "Just let him get used to it. When he thinks about it, he'll be bound to understand."
Joey nodded, her eyes focused on the door. "Sure, he will."
* * * * *
Her head rested softly on his shoulder as they laid together on the couch. "This is a mess, Pacey," she mumbled.
"I've noticed," he replied. "Now we know why we didn't tell him all those years ago."
"No, if we'd done like I wanted to, he'd be completely familiar with the idea. And we might really be together now," she said decisively.
His body tensed as he spoke. "Get up."
"Huh?"
"Get up," he said again. "Because I need to stand if we're going to fight."
"We're going to fight," she said flatly, standing up and watching him expectantly. She ignored his bruised face and swollen lip.
"How the hell can you blame this on me?" he asked.
"You're the one who wouldn't tell Dawson about us! You're the one who couldn't come up with your own damn story and decided to write about all of us in the book! How could this be anyone's fault but yours?!"
"Joey we decided together to break up!"
"Because you didn't want to tell Dawson," she said. "If we had just dealt with all this fallout then, we might be together now."
He shook his head. "Now I remember."
"Now you remember what?" she snapped.
"I remember why I didn't want to tell you in the first place," he answered.
"And just what in the hell is that supposed to mean?" she shouted.
"It means I'm leaving," he spat.
"Yeah, it shouldn't be any different from last time," she muttered.
"It's always my fault," he said knowingly. "Despite the fact that you know you're just as scared as I am, you were always as scared as I was, but you're going to continue to make me look like the one who's screwing this up while you pretend to be fearless."
"You are infuriating," she growled. "You think you know everything."
"I know I don't know anything," he returned.
Before she could spat off her witty response, she was interrupted by the ringing phone. She had no idea who would be calling at two a.m.
She heard a frantic Andie on the other end of the phone. Her words were rushed and jumbled. "Andie, slow down."
"The wedding's off, Joey," Andie said calmly. "But I need to talk to you."
Joey nodded absently. "Sure, Andie. Just don't jump to any conclusions, please?"
"I think that things are pretty solid," Andie replied.
"Stay right there," Joey said. "I'm on my way." As she hung up the phone she looked back at Pacey impatiently. "I have to go to Andie's."
"That's fine," he said, retrieving his jacket. "There's nothing left to say."
"Don't do this now, Pacey," Joey said, pulling on a pair of pants with her night shirt, and exchanging a coat for her robe. "We've got a million things we need to talk about, but right now I have to make sure this wedding happens."
He shook his head, laughing sardonically. "Go to hell, Joey."
* * * * *
"How did this happen?" Jen asked Joey as they were speaking on the phone. "What exactly went on?"
"I don't know," Joey said. She could hear Jen's voice breaking slightly on her cell phone, but continued to talk. "One second I was kissing Pacey and the next Dawson was busting into my apartment. Some how he got a hold of Pacey's tell-all book and read it. He was beating the hell out of Pacey for sleeping with Andie. But then I told him that Pacey had slept with me. So then he acts all hurt. He was mad at Pacey for sleeping with me and he was mad at me for lying to him. I have no idea what Andie's upset about."
"This is some mess," Jen said. "What are you going to do?"
"I thought you might have some ideas," Joey replied. "I mean, what am I going to say to Andie? 'I'm sorry Dawson didn't trust you, but the good news is that he hates me and Pacey now instead.' I'm sure that'll go over really well. She wanted her wedding to be perfect, and now we've managed to ruin it."
"Well, what did Pacey say?"
"Pacey and I had a fight."
"About what?"
Joey groaned. "I don't want to go there. Look, I'm at Andie's. I'll let you know how things go, okay?"
"Okay," Jen said. "Call me when you're done."
"Will do," Joey said, turning off the phone and ambling up the stairs to Andie's apartment. Joey was surprised to see Andie's eyes red-rimmed when she answered the door. "Andie, what's wrong?" she asked softly.
"What did you do?" Andie asked in return.
"Why don't we sit down, and I can explain?"
Andie nodded, moving toward the sofa and sitting down next to Joey on the couch. "Pacey wrote this book," Joey began. "And in the book he based a character on each one of us."
"Jen told me about the book," Andie said. "I just don't see what this has to do with what Dawson was fussing about tonight."
"Well, Pacey wrote the characters in an odd way. Anyone who reads the book thinks you're Kylie. And . . . well, in the book Kylie had a past relationship with Pacey's character, and they sleep together."
"So Dawson thought that I slept with Pacey?" Andie asked confusedly. "How could he think that?"
"I don't know, Andie," Joey said honestly. "But, in the book . . . well, I'm Kylie. I'm the one with the past relationship with Pacey. We slept together the last time he was in town."
"Huh?" was all Andie managed.
Joey shook her head. "Dawson was mad because he found out. I mean . . . I can't explain the reason he's upset because we were together the last time Pacey was here. But he's really upset that we were together in high school and hid it from him."
"How could you do that, Joey?" Andie asked softly.
"We didn't want to hurt anyone, Andie. And it would've hurt Dawson. If it's any consolation, it didn't last."
"How is that supposed to be any consolation?"
"It's not."
"This what's breaking up my wedding, Joey. The fact that Dawson doesn't even want to look at you," Andie said softly. "You need to fix it."
Joey was concerned. She'd never really seen Andie react this way. Usually she was frantic, and now all Joey could see was an eerie sort of calm. Perhaps shocked would be a better characterization. "I'll fix it, Andie. I promise," Joey whispered, resting her hand on Andie's.
* * * * *
Even though she was sitting in the dark, Jen wasn't sleeping. How could she sleep? This whole weekend that was supposed to be a celebration of love and friendship was falling apart at the seams.
She grabbed her robe from the chair when she heard the knock on the door. She assumed it was Joey, but was caught off-guard to find Dawson there instead. She winced when she saw his black eye. "My god, Dawson," she whispered.
"I know, I look horrible," Dawson mumbled. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Jen nodded, letting him walk into the apartment. "How are you doing?"
He slumped down on the couch defeatedly. "You can go ahead and tell me that I'm over-reacting and I'm too melodramatic for my own good."
"You reacted in a typical Dawson fashion," Jen said with a simple nod.
"And I have a feeling that's not a good thing," Dawson groaned.
"Dawson, you have a right to be upset. I know that you thought Pacey'd slept with your fianca33;e, but he didn't. I thought that would make you feel better."
"They've been my best friends since we were kids, Jen. And I find out that they dated, and they slept together, and . . . they're obviously in love. It's like being asleep and waking up and just not knowing what the hell is going on. It hurts."
She rested a soft hand on his shoulder. "I know, Dawson. They just did what they thought was best. In hindsight, it was probably a mistake. But it's made."
"And now I'm being petty."
"You called off your wedding," Jen said. "I don't see how that makes things better. I'm sure Andie's crazy."
"Never say the words Andie and crazy together in a sentence," Dawson said seriously. "It has nothing to do with Andie," he continued.
"Yeah, but you're ruining her day, Dawson. And you know as well as I do that what's happened between you and Pacey and Joey isn't unforgivable. Just as much as Andie wants them at her wedding, you do too . . . or you will."
"Why does everyone treat me this way? Like I only care about myself and how things affect me."
"Because . . . can I be honest with you?" she asked.
He nodded reluctantly.
"Sometimes . . . you are a little . . . self-absorbed, but in an adorably naive sort of way. And I think . . . well, Joey and Pacey aren't exactly open and honest with each other about what has, is, or will go on between them. You were like this z variable that added too much complication to the problem."
"Am I being stupid?" he asked.
"I think you're reacting, Dawson. And be mad at Joey and Pacey if that's what you need to do. But don't let it get in the way of the one thing you want to do."
"So I should tell Andie that I'm an idiot and just suck up the way I feel about Joey and Pacey?" Dawson thought out loud. "It can't be as complicated as it sounds."
Jen smiled. "It can't be. Just make things with Andie right, Dawson. Everything else will fall into place."
"Okay, Jen. You've convinced me. Trust me, I will be blaming you if this backfires."
"I figured," Jen laughed.
* * * * *
"Jack, you in there?" Pacey asked through the hotel room door. He wasn't sure just why he'd come to Jack. Maybe everyone else was just somehow off-limits.
Jack was wiping the sleep from his eyes when he opened the door. "God, Pacey, you look like shit," he said through squinted eyes.
"You were sleeping," Pacey said blankly. "I'll let you get back to bed."
"Hold it right there, Witter. Whatever made you pull me out of bed is reason enough to stay awake. Come in," Jack replied.
Pacey walked in slowly, absently banging his fist into the palm of his other hand. "Have you talked to Andie? Jen?"
Jack squinted slightly. "Andie called me and told me that Dawson's called off the wedding. Let me guess. You know why he did it."
Pacey nodded, sitting down on the sofa in Jack's suite. He reluctantly explained everything that had happened since he'd arrived in Chicago.
"Why'd you tell Joey to go to hell?" Jack asked at the end of the story.
"I wish I knew, Jack," Pacey said, smiling awkwardly. "I just wanted it to be over, and I wanted to piss her off the same way she'd pissed me off."
"Why were you pissed off?"
"She blamed me for everything. And it's . . . well, it's not like I can't accept responsibility for what's happened. I mean, it was my fault that I wrote the book. It was my fault Jen had it. It was my fault Joey read it. It was my fault for lying to Dawson all those years ago. She blamed me for the one thing that wasn't my fault."
"And what's that?"
"That we'd be happy and together now if I hadn't decided to keep everything from Dawson in high school."
"You don't believe that?" Jack asked.
Pacey shook his head. "I think that the events of the past six hours are probably proof positive and Joey and I would never make it as anything more than friends. There are too many things about our past in the way, not to mention that we're just too . . . stubborn for our own damn good. Jo and I . . . we're not like Dawson and Andie or even Jen and Henry. Neither of us is going to bend or compromise to be together, even if it is what we think we want. Nothing's going to make us change."
Jack looked skeptical. "Pacey, she's the only thing you want. Jen told me about the book, and you're lying to all of us if you say that you don't love Joey. You're successful and wealthy and famous. I know all about that, Pacey. With all of that, there's still this pesky piece right in the middle that's missing. And for you, that's Joey."
"It's a nice sentiment, Jack. Hell, I'm probably pretty lucky that I know the exact location of the piece, because a lot of people don't even know where it could be. But there's the whole issue of making it fit. And right now it just doesn't fit," Pacey said, probably extending the puzzle analogy way too far for its own good.
"What are you scared of, Pacey?" Jack asked softly.
Pacey laughed, shaking his finger at the other man. "Nice try."
"I can tell you're scared. You might as well tell me," Jack shrugged.
"You really did miss your calling as a therapist for this whole pro football thing, McPhee."
"Are you afraid she doesn't want you back?"
"I'm afraid she does want me back."
"Well, I'm definitely confused," Jack said, running an absent hand through his hair.
"She wants me back and we give it a try. I move to Chicago to be near her and I fall even deeper in love than I already am. But what inevitably happens is that it won't work out. It's like . . . instead of knowing that missing puzzle piece is in the drawer in the kitchen, I've seen it in the picture and it looks perfect there. But then the piece is lost forever, and the picture will never be the same," Pacey explained.
"I'm way too groggy to make sense of that," Jack yawned. "Tell her how you feel, Pacey. Everything else will make sense then."
"Nice try," Pacey said, standing up and giving Jack a pat on the shoulder. "Get some rest, McPhee." He looked down at his watch. "I have to pick my girlfriend up from the airport in about five hours anyway."
Jack made a face. "That's a messy addition the equation."
"Tell me about it," Pacey groaned, leaving the room.
* * * * *
"Dawson, open up," Joey said, banging on his apartment. "I don't want to explain, I just want to . . . I want to tell you that Pacey and I won't come to the wedding. We want you to marry Andie."
"That's a nice offer," Dawson said from behind her. He was just coming home from Jen's.
Joey jumped slightly before turning around. "You scared me, Dawson."
Dawson nodded tiredly as he leaned against the wall. "I want you and Pacey at the wedding."
"I'm glad," Joey said, sighing softly out of relief.
"What you two did was . . . it hurt, Jo. But it's not something I won't get over. And I'm not over it right now. But Jen was right. Someday I will be, and I'll regret it if you two weren't at my wedding."
"I'll have to thank Jen. For what it's worth, I'm really sorry."
Dawson nodded. "If you don't mind, I want to get some rest. I have lots of things to do before the rehearsal."
Joey looked down at her feet. "Okay, Dawson."
He smiled half-heartedly before going inside his apartment and shutting the door.
Joey leaned against the wall, sliding down to the floor and resting her head in her hands. After a few moments of silent reflection, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Jen's. "Thanks for the back-up," she said after Jen answered.
"Sure," Jen said. "Everything's okay I take it."
"I talked to Andie and to Dawson. The wedding's back on. Thanks to you, I suppose," Joey replied. "I don't know how to thank you, Jen."
"This is only the beginning, Jo."
"Don't spoil my little victory now."
"I talked to Jack and let him know everything would be okay. Pacey went to see him," Jen said.
"I don't want to know," Joey sighed.
"Fine," Jen responded. "Just know that he's picking up his girlfriend from the airport at six."
"Well, that's the last thing I need," Joey groaned.
"You've got to do something about it, Joey," Jen said simply.
"The question is what do I do about it," Joey replied.
* * * * *