Later at the Leery's...
Dawson is standing on the Leery porch, taking in the scene in front of him and sipping from a coffee mug. His mind is wandering, so he continues to breathe deeply, hoping it will ease his mind and let him enjoy this time with his family and friends. Friends that he has been exchanging looks with over the table throughout the entire dinner. Understanding but amused looks from Audrey and awkward looks from Joey.
He sighs and is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t even hear Mike come out onto the porch, shutting the door quietly. Mike joins him, enjoying the same view that has captured Dawson’s attention.
"Well, what do you think, Dawson? I think I’m ready for the runways in New York," Mike laughs, looking behind him at his own reflection, laughing at the clips and hair moved all over his head. He has been caught again since Alex was complaining he had lost out on all the fun with his grandpa the first time around.
"Joey was right to hide from them and I would advise you to do the same…you’re a marked man," Mike jokes as he turns back to him, noticing Dawson giving him a sympathetic smile, but obviously his attention elsewhere.
"Well, Mike, I think you look darn handsome but I’m not sure that lipstick is your color,” Dawson dryly jokes.
"Ha! That grandson of mine said it was when Lily put it on." Dawson just smiles at him.
For a moment, the two of them stand there in a comfortable silence.
"You know, Dawson, I remember telling you years ago, on that horribly disastrous Christmas dinner at this house, how proud I was of you for working as the assistant director on that movie. And I want you to know again that I’m very proud of you and what you’ve become," Mike says honestly, trying to lighten the mood, since Dawson seems to be worried about something. He also knows Dawson is an important presence in his daughter’s life and he wants to make sure everything is okay.
"Thanks, Mike, but it’s only a television show. It’s just teen angst and melodrama that a few people happen to enjoy," Dawson sighs, shrugging his shoulders, not really wanting to get into all that. The fact that it’s his heart that he exposes every week for the whole world to see.
"Dawson, I would hardly call one of the most inspiring and influential looks at modern teen life just something a few people enjoy," Mike laughs.
"Well, it’s not exactly what I dreamt of years ago but parts of it have been therapeutic. You know, to re-live some of the most formative years of my life," Dawson says honestly.
"Believe it or not, Dawson, you’ve accomplished a lot. Perhaps it’s not exactly what you thought it would be but it’s something. Something important," Mike assures him, squeezing his shoulder. "And I know someone in particular, besides your mother, that is very proud of you as well."
"Ah, yes! The girl from down the creek," Dawson sighs, taking a deep breath, realizing where the conversation is going.
"Tell me about her, Dawson. Tell me about my daughter, because I really wanna do things right this time. And I know that if anyone can help me do that, it's you," Mike says, causing Dawson to glance at him in surprise. "She looks up to you. You’re like this perfect person to her. She trusts you. If you told her she could fly, she would probably believe it."
Dawson thinks about Mike’s words and his heart starts to beat erratically in his chest. Is that true? Is he really all those things to her? He knows he is. Because she is all those things to him.
"You’ve watched my show, right?"
Mike nods his head.
"Then, tell me something. There was this moment, probably one of the hardest moments in my entire life. I had to tell my girlfriend that her father was dealing drugs again and that she had to turn him in to the police. How do you think I should portray that?" he says, looking at Mike seriously.
"Just the way it was. You did the right thing. I’m just sorry Joey didn’t see it that way."
Dawson nods his head gravely at his response. "I don’t know if I have the right to ask this, but... Are you serious this time, Mike? Because, you know, you have the key to destroy her. If she finally opens up to you, just to have her heart broken again… she will need much more than a therapist to overcome that," Dawson confesses and he can’t help but show a light menace in the tone of his voice, his protective instincts for Joey kicking in.
But Mike holds his gaze firmly. "I’m just waiting for enough time to pass by to prove to everybody that I am here to stay. I won’t leave my family again."
After one more intense look is exchanged between the two of them, Dawson starts to talk.
"She’s a great person, a hard worker, and a very talented editor. She has worked hard to get where she is now. She has some flaws, mind you, but her virtues more than balance them out. None of us are perfect, right? Sometimes, I feel like we share one brain," Dawson laughs softly, "and we definitely share one soul. We think alike, we act alike and we know what the other person is thinking or doing before the other even knows. Which is weird, because we've hardly seen each other in the last five years. But after spending a few months hanging out together… it's as if that gap in time never happened. It’s been so easy to reconnect with her. Because we have always had this kind of… connection. A bond that nothing and no one was ever able to break. Not even ourselves, despite all our mistakes and all the pain we have caused each other." He pauses for a moment. "Even though she's the person that has hurt me the most, she's also the only person that could ever help me heal my wounds. She’s like the ying to my yang. I could go on with my life without her but without her, it’s not really much of a life. She’s still the honest, stubborn and loyal girl she was when we first met. And I still see that girl in her heart, fighting to get out. I see her soul and what she wants to be.”
“But then there are times when I look at her and I wonder if I truly understand her. She won’t tell me things. She has all these feelings of hesitation and fear that still rule her life and hold her back. And I can’t always reach her...but I hear her. Even after all these years, I see her and she’s still my best friend, my soulmate, my inspiration, my…"
"Everything?"
Dawson looks at him, feeling like he had stepped back in time. Mr. Potter laughs softly and nods.
"Well, Dawson, I can’t offer you much advice on my daughter because she still confuses and mystifies even me. But I can tell you this... Joey is a lot like her mother," Mr. Potter says softly, remembering Lillian for a moment. "One minute you love her and the next, you want to strangle her because she’s so damn frustrating. But she is also a lot like me, I’m afraid. When she gets mad or when she plays it tough and hides her feelings. Or even when she says things she doesn’t mean to hurt people before they hurt her, sometimes even without knowing she is doing so… and believe me, she regrets that later. I know I did every time I let my emotions get the best off me, like she usually does. So, while there are moments that are maddening and confusing… and times when she pulls away...don’t let her. I believe that’s when her soul is reaching out the most." He is the one who is looking now in front of him with his eyes transfixed at some point beyond the creek. "She may fight you, Dawson, but you can’t let that get in your way…not like I did. It may take time, but don’t lose your inspiration. Nothing that you try to replace it with is ever the same and you deserve more than that."
Dawson sighs, nodding his head.
"Women," Mike starts, smirking a bit. "Can’t live with them..."
"Can’t live without them," Dawson finishes, smirking back. Both men look at each other and nod before breaking out into laughter.
The Witter’s house
Finally, everybody seems to be engaged in some kind of conversation in the living room. Grams is holding Amy in her lap, with Pacey and Andie sitting by her side. The Witters are sitting in front of them with Gretchen in the middle of her parents. Jack is standing in a corner, just watching them, when someone approaches him from behind.
"Hey," Doug says. Jack turns to him, hands in his pockets.
"Hey," he replies.
For a moment, nothing more needs to be said and they just smile at each other. Jack’s smile is sad, and Doug’s smile is too. Doug clears his throat and starts to speak.
"Look, Jack. This might not be the best moment, but there is something I need to tell you. We really should talk," he says, waiting for Jack’s reaction, but he just nods his head. Doug nods back, suddenly not knowing where to start.
"Okay, so just let me start by asking you a question. Do you still love me?"
Jack is surprised by the question, but he nods his head in response.
"Well, if so, why are we drifting apart? And don’t tell me we’re not, because we are," Doug says, getting closer to him. Jack just sighs. "And I can’t for the life of me figure out the reason. I feel powerless to stop it. And believe me, that is not a nice feeling."
"It's not you, Doug. It's me. I am under a lot of pressure right now. I am worried about my job because I can hardly concentrate. All my thoughts go to Amy and what I can do to keep her. I am worried so much about her. I am worried about what might happen to Grams if we lose her. I get the feeling that little girl is the only thing that keeps her here. I am worried about us, too. Because I know what you’re talking about. I’ve felt the distance, too."
He looks at Doug with a sad expression in his face. "I know I’m asking too much from you but I can’t help it. I’m becoming this clingy person that wants you to be with me all the time. And trust me, I don’t like being like that. And I’m sorry if I am giving you a hard time."
"Jack, I’m not looking for an apology, I wanna know what I can do. Tell me what you need…"
"You can't do anything, Doug," Jack states blankly. "This is not about you. Didn’t you hear me? It’s me. Me and the way things are in my life right now, and... this," he gestures with his hand to the group of people gathering in the living room around the table. "The position I put you in by coming here tonight. The way your father has been looking at me all night - as if I had committed a crime or something. And I just can’t take it right now. If I hadn’t had any other worries in my life at this moment, I could have fought against him. I would have tried to talk to him and tell him that we are what we are and that no matter what he thinks, that’s how it is. But I can’t right now," Jack says, closing his eyes and rubbing them with his fingers.
"What do you mean you can’t? You don’t need to fight. Screw my father!" Doug says fiercely, approaching his face to him so anyone else can hear. "This is about you and me. I don’t need anyone’s approval to be with you."
"I know, but I don’t want you to lose your family because of me. Maybe… maybe it's just too soon for this."
And with that he walks out of the room, leaving a very puzzled Doug behind. What just happened? He feels even more confused now than he was before.
The Leery's porch
Dawson wanders out the front door onto the porch. Joey is sitting on the porch lounge chair, staring off into the distance. He coughs nervously, then shoves his hands in his pockets and joins her on the lounge. Joey looks at him, her expression a mix of anticipation and anxiousness. She was just trying to gather the courage to go inside and talk to him. It seems like Dawson found that courage already.
("Stranded" by Plumb, starts playing in the background)
"I think we need to talk," Dawson says seriously.
"Yes, I think we do…" She’s about to say something, but Dawson interrupts, quickly. He needs to say this before she says anything else or before he says something he might regret later.
You know it breaks my heart
To see you standing in the dark
Alone waiting there for me to come back
I'm too afraid to show
"Okay, so we kissed in the bathroom. And it was a nice kiss. But, the situation here is that you were…I mean, I know why we kissed," he added hastily, hoping his heart isn’t beating too fast.
Joey waits, dubious. "You do?" she crosses her arms.
"Yeah," he confirms.
"Enlighten me," she flickers an eyebrow, as if to challenge him. Dawson takes a deep breath.
If it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
That drags me out to sea
"You’re still feeling vulnerable, upset, and all that comes with a break up of that magnitude… maybe had a little too much spiked eggnog and we were just caught up in the moment. I mean, I know you didn’t mean to kiss me. It just…happened. But you don’t need to give me an explanation about it or anything because I already know."
"You do?" she asks, still not knowing how to interpret his words.
I want to be with you
If you want to be with me
Crashing like a tidal wave
I don't want to be
Stranded
So baby come back to me {Stranded}
"I mean, we are so close. Closer than close," he keeps on talking. "It’s not surprising we get our lines crossed sometimes," Dawson chuckles. "That’s what we always did, didn’t we? I mean, how long did we play that game? Years. For as long as I can remember, anyway. So I guess it might take us some time to get used to it. To this 'just friendship' thing we've got going on." He throws her a somehow anxious look, just like the one she gave to him when he walked onto the porch.
I can only take so much
These tears are turning me to rust
I know you're waiting there for me to come back
I'm too afraid to show
She ponders his words for a moment. She wants to climb into his room, pull down the blinds, and pour her heart out to him. To talk to her best friend about how confused she is, about all the questions, the doubts, the…dreams. She feels like that girl in detention that had all of these emotions inside and didn't know how to confide them to the only person they were all about, even though she wanted to do that so much.
I miss you
I miss you
Without you
I'm stranded
But just one look in his eyes tells her that he is not ready to deal with all that again. And maybe she isn’t, either. Maybe it all will go downhill again if she tells him everything. Because she knows what happens whenever their feelings are out in the open and one of them is unable to bare the intensity of it... they walk away. And if there is one thing she couldn't bare right now, it's the thought of Dawson walking away from her.
I love you
So come back
I'm not afraid to show
"Of course, you’re right," Joey agrees a little forcefully, nodding and smiling at him biting her lips in a tense smile. Dawson nods too.
"Yeah, I hope so…" He relaxes back onto the chair and sighs a sigh of relief.
Crashing like a tidal wave
Drags me out to sea
I want to be with you
Joey remains taut, however. Her hands are in her lap and her knees are together, as if she can’t bare to touch him right now, for fear of what might happen if she does.
You want to be with me
Crashing like a tidal wave
I don't want to be
Stranded
"So," Dawson says as he angles his head towards Joey. "What are you gonna get me for Christmas?" he asks brightly, returning to a neutral ground, glad that they resolved things.
"Forget it. I’m not telling you. You’ll have to wait a few weeks," Joey says awkwardly.
"Awwwww," Dawson whines.
"Anyway, I got some ideas on my mind but I haven’t really made a decision. Besides, you know I’ve been way too busy this last week," Joey sighs, venturing her gaze over to him again.
"Yeah I know. And I can totally relate to that," Dawson says, nodding in agreement. He grins slyly, and points at her with his finger. "Although, I've got to say, I know perfectly well what I’m gonna buy you. And I’m not telling. Unless…we can make a deal," he says and lifts his chin. "If you tell me, I’ll…"
"No," Joey interrupts bluntly.
(Last part of "Stranded " starts playing in the background)
"Fine. I’ll be keeping my eyes on you when we go shopping. I’ll figure it out. We’re still going shopping together next week, right?" he asks hopefully.
Joey nods her head and smiles at him. "As if I would let you get out of that one so easily!"
"Good then." He smiles at her and hops up off the chair. He feels the urge to touch her and his hand reaches out to her, to touch her face, neck, or ear. But unsure, he doesn’t, and his hand just sways in the vicinity of the curve of her neck. Despite not being touched, Joey shivers anyway and looks down quickly at her knees.
It's coming over you {Stranded}
It's coming over you {Stranded}
It's coming over you {Stranded}
"I’ll see you inside," Dawson says softly and then goes back towards the house. Joey’s expression gives away everything she is feeling. She’s relieved he can’t see her emotions written across her face. Exhausted from the intense feelings, she drops her head into her hands.
So baby come back to me {Stranded}
So baby come back to me {Stranded}
As Dawson rounds the corner, he leans on the wall, pondering his words to her and asking himself how sincere those words were. He closes his eyes and lays his head back, resting it against the wall.
Coming over you
Coming over me
Still sitting on the porch, Joey casts a glance in the direction of where Dawson has disappeared.
So baby come back to me
So baby come back to me