A coffee house in New York
"It was extremely hard in the beginning...just after we split. Pam couldn't understand that I was gay," the guy with the sandy hair and green eyes was telling Doug and Jack as they drank coffee in a coffee house in New York. "She said she would have known and she loved me and so did Shelby. I should think of what this could do to our daughter. But I told her, to deny who and what I was would only make me grow to resent them and that we'd end up hating each other."
("This is your song", by Ronan Keating starts playing in the back ground)
Lived your life to the full
With a lifetime of smiles
Made us know right from wrong
Always knowing a lie
"So what happened, Paul?" Doug asked as he nursed his cappuccino.
You made us be tough
But never too rough
Rise above's what you said
Never easily lead
"She cried, I cried. I told her they'd never have to want for anything. That I'd see they were okay. I started looking for somewhere to live. The most important thing of all was to let Shelby know I still loved her and was still her father... that I was still there for her." He pauses for a moment, takes a sip from his own cup.
"I'd been out of the house for four days when everything suddenly changed."
And one day, we'll all sing along
Cos this is your song
I wrote it for you
It won't take all day
Just a minute or two
And one day, we'll all sing along
Cos this is your song
I wrote it for you
It won't take all day
Just a minute or two
"You never saw anything coming?" Jack asks.
Paul shakes his head. "No. I knew she was hurting. I just never figured it would have gotten as bad as it did. But I guess that's what happens when both parties aren't in agreement. The easiest thing for her to do was lash out." He rubs his temples.
"But she tried to stop you from seeing Shelby?"
"I'm not defending Pam and it was hard for me at the time to understand. But she'd just lost her husband and I guess part of her thought I'd seek full custody...but despite everything I still loved her. I knew Shelby belonged with her mother. I only ever wanted to see her when and if I could. She could visit on holidays and we could go to ball games...and we did, well...until I started dating Justin. Whenever I stopped by, there was no one home even though she said she'd be there. I'd call and she'd say she was in the middle of something and would call back..." He trails off.
So we'll try and go on
Loving all that we know
Through the hardest of times
You put on a show
You made us stand tall
When all around us would fall
Even when you were low
You believed you could fly
"But she never?" Jack finishes after Paul takes another quiet pause, probably reflecting on past events. Jack and Doug exchange a sympathetic glance.
He shakes his head. "A friend of a friend put me in touch with a lawyer who dealt with custody cases. I explained the situation, that I didn't want full custody. He put me in touch with the organization and I was able to find out more about my rights. They are no different than when I was heterosexual."
"But Pam didn't like that?" Doug asks.
"To this day, I don't fully know why she acted the way she did. If she really believed I'd seek full custody...but I think it was because I'd hurt her by leaving her. But because of the court case, I have no problems seeing my Shelby."
And one day, we'll all sing along
Cos this is your song
I wrote it for you
It won't take all day
Just a minute or two
You were our friend
Walk with you to the end
And one day we'll all sing along
Cos this is your song
"Our case is quite different though," Jack offers. "Neither of us is the biological father."
"Yeah, it's different but what the courts will have to take into consideration is that you have the written backing of Amy's mother and you have little Amy's great grandmother living with you, supporting you both in this. But with Jen's mother...all I can do is wish you both luck and ask that you stay in touch."
"I have no idea what we'll do if things don't work out for us. Amy's all I have left of her mother and I think it'd kill Grams if she were taken away."
Doug squeezes Jacks hand reassuringly. "Let's just hope it doesn't come to that."
Joey's offices in New York
As Joey sits in her oversized office chair, she looks over some papers. She isn't taking much of anything in. In fact, she is only skimming the words as she carelessly doodles on a notepad.
("Underneath" by Jessica Simpson starts playing in the background)
Why can't she concentrate? Why is it so hard for her to focus on reading through this manuscript?
Sometimes it's hard when you're so deep inside
To see all you could lose in a blink of an eye
Dreams could be shattered, you could be gone
How would I survive, cuz you're where I belong
My soul believer, without you
I don't know who I would be
She absently looks around her office, her eyes lingering over the many personal objects that had found their way here. Her eyes fall upon a picture of her and her mom with Dawson, taken when they were eleven. "Keep the ones that shared your childhood close to you, for no one else will ever love you like they could." These words that her mother left for her as a legacy, pops up in the back of her mind for some reason. She just stares at the picture some more, astonished at how young and carefree they once looked.
Wow, how time flies.
Then her eyes fall on a picture of herself and Dawson that was taken at Gale's wedding. She picks it up and smiles. 'It's so good seeing him more,' she thinks to herself before putting the picture back in its place on her desk. This past week, they had met a few times, even if only to drink some coffee together. It seems as if it's going to be one of their new habits. And it is so great knowing that he is there, so near to her after so many years of living on opposite coasts.
Underneath, I can feel you move through me
Inside out, you surround me
I breathe you like I'm taking last breath
Oh, you're everything I know
So how could I let you go?
She tries to read again but still nothing is penetrating so she turns to her computer and clicks on an icon. She starts typing, hoping that this will get it all out. She has started writing again just this week. And it feels good. Writing again felt really good. She has so many thoughts bouncing around in her head, so many feelings inside of her.
"Dear Journal...
"It's one of those moments, those moments when you can't seem to focus. They seem to hit you when you least expect them...and when you have so much work to get done. I was totally fine until Samantha got here. It's great that Dawson is going to have some help with the Spielberg project but I'm not sure I like that she somehow will end up monopolizing so much of Dawson's time. Does she really have to be with him all the time? She seems to be nice, but..."
She quickly glances at another picture on the bookshelf, this time of herself, Jen and Amy. Leaning over, Joey picks it up, running a finger over Jen's face.
Sometimes I listen to a voice that isn't mine
I disconnect from anything inside
I have made choices, and wasted all the days
I could've been with you, when my heart had stayed
I know you've waited faithfully
Blessing our love even stronger
"She's so much like you!" Joey says, as though Jen were there and could hear her. "Like when you first showed up. Why does she make me feel that way again?"
She turns back to her computer and starts to type furiously again.
"Why do I always feel like this towards any girl that could possibly be something in Dawson's life? Like what happened with Jen (I blame it on me being too young and insecure) and then with Gretchen (I still can't believe how upset I was when I saw them kissing under that mistletoe!) or when I found out Audrey was giving him the Worthington tour. Or how about the day we all got arrested at the miniature golf course, and Dawson lashed out at me saying that I always treated him like a criminal whenever he grew closer to a girl that wasn't me? While he, on the other hand, has always been respectful of my choices and boyfriends (well, at least after what was the debacle of him finding out about Pacey and me in high school but he totally made up for that later).
It just makes me feel selfish. Self absorbed. And I don't want to feel like that. I don't want to be that person. It's all right for me to be with someone but it's not for him? I always feel threatened, thinking that someone might take my place in his heart, in his life. And I'm not even in love with him! Well, not that way. Not in a romantic way, although I know there is a part of me that will always be in love with him. Did that make sense?
But that's not the point. The thing is that I should be over this, over thinking that they can..."
Her door being opened suddenly shakes her from her typing.
"Hey," Ethan says with a confused look on his face, stopping dead in his tracks. "I thought you weren't going to be back today. Wasn't that today?"
"Yeah, that was today," she replies, trying to smile. "But there was a slight change of plans so I decided to just come in and finish up some things."
He glances at her desk at the pile of reading material there. "That plan really seems to be working for you."
Underneath, I can feel you move through me
Inside out, you surround me
I breathe you like I'm taking last breath
Oh, you're everything I know
So how could I let you go?
She laughs and half shrugs. "Best laid plans..."
"Is it garbage?"
She laughs again, shaking her head. "I wouldn't know. I've barely read three pages."
"Well, since your plan has gone so well," he says. She rolls her eyes at him. "You wanna grab a coffee?"
"I don't think so..."
"Aww, come on! I'm buying," he finishes in a sing-song voice.
"Ethan, I've just come out of a relationship and it's not a good idea for me to be..."
"Can't a guy take a girl out for coffee without there being some sort of ulterior motive involved?"
She opens her mouth to say something but can't think of a reply.
"Don't worry. It's not like I want to date you," he says, pretending to be disgusted at the thought.
She glares at him. "Why not?" Ethan just laughs and Joey realizes how pathetic that question sounded. She laughs along with him. "Fine! Forget it." She saves her work and gets up from her chair. "But in keeping with it not being a date, I'm buying my own coffee."
"Fine with me," he says as they back out into the corridor. "But I get to buy you some biscotti!"
"Whatever," she says, mockingly, as they walk out of view.
Doug and Jack at the train station, New York
After having talked to Paul, Jack is in a brighter mood. But as they walk to the train station, he becomes more and more melancholy. When they arrive at the station, Doug buys his ticket and turns to Jack. Jack smiles weakly at him.
"Don't leave," Jack pleads with him. "Please."
"You know I have to, Jack. We talked about it this morning," Doug replies, sighing.
"I know, but still..." Jack mutters. Doug is hurting seeing him this way. But he has no choice.
"Jack, I'm sorry, okay?" Doug says. "I don't know what else to say. You know I want to be with you."
Jack's face changes a little but he's still somber. "I know," he sighs. "Call me when you get home, okay?"
"You know I will," Doug smiles. "I'll go to Grams' and give our girls goodnight kisses from the both of us."
Jack's face brightens at the mention of Amy. "Yeah. Tell them I love them. This is the first night I'm going to spend away from home since..." Jack hesitates before continuing. "Since Amy came to live with us," he finally says. Doug puts his hand on Jack's shoulder, comforting him.
"I know. I'm sure she misses you," he says softly. The speakers announce the departing of Doug's train.
"I have to go now, honey," Doug says.
"Yeah, I know," Jack replies. "I know I don't have any right to ask you this, Doug, but please... stay with me." Jack knows he's being unfair to Doug. He knows his job is very important to him but he can't help but feel like Doug is letting him down.
"Jack," Doug warns him.
"I know," answers Jack, disappointed and also a little ashamed for being so... childish. "Have a good trip home."
"I will."
With that, Doug holds him and kisses him softly on the cheek. But Jack cups his face and kisses him fully, although briefly, on the mouth. They both hug each other before Doug walks away.
As he takes his seat on the train, Doug looks out the window and sees Jack waiting for the train to leave. He knows Jack is upset and sighs loudly. On the platform, Jack is looking at the train, but he's not seeing anything. When the train departs, he slowly turns and leaves the station, thinking about Doug, sadness and disappointment written all over his face.
A street in Manhattan
Dawson is standing, leaning on his car waiting for Samantha. They are at her aunt's house.
Looking around at the houses that surround him, Dawson studies Riverside Drive. There are a few old houses, remembrances of ancient and better times.
The one in front of him, Samantha's aunt's, isn't one of those big houses. It's a modest two-store house but well taken care of. The exterior is painted white and the window frames in dark red. Still, the house doesn't seem welcoming. On the upper story, in the middle, there's a balcony. In the summer, it has to be nice to sit there and listen to the traffic noise of the city that can be heard in the distance.
'But I don't think this woman does that very often, from what Sam told me about her,' thinks Dawson.
The little front yard is cute, with just a few flowers and some small bushes lining the sidewalk. Dawson is thinking about Samantha and wonders how things might be going with her aunt when he sees her coming out of the house. By her face and way she is walking, he can tell she's upset.
"How did it go?" he asks, concerned.
"As expected," Samantha sighs. "She says that I arrived one day earlier than she expected,and that she had already made plans for tonight. Yeah, right." She sits on the passengers' seat in the car but the door is still open. "It seems she has some guests for dinner tonight so she gently suggested that I don't come back here until later tonight," she continues, anger evident in her voice.
Dawson can see her jawbone tense from the anger.
"Wow, she doesn't seem too fond of you, does she?" Dawson asks intrigued at how someone can treat a relative that way.
"Well, no. She was my father's aunt, actually, and I haven't seen her since I was seven or so. When dad was alive, she sent a letter every now and then, but since he died... nothing," Samantha explains. "She's the Wicked Witch of the West," Samantha jokes with a soft smile. "I'm afraid I'll have to find a place of my own because I wouldn't be able to stand living with her. I hope that friend of yours, Spielberg, pays well," she ends laughing.
Dawson laughs too and then he makes a decision. "Listen, since you can't come back until late... how about going to dinner with me, Joey and Jack, another friend of ours?" Dawson asks, brightly.
"I don't know, Dawson. Are you sure it's okay for me to go?" Samantha asks, unsure.
"Sure! Why wouldn't it be?" he asks, trying to sound casual.
"I don't know. Today at lunch, I felt as if I was intruding or something. Joey looked at me kind of weird," Samantha says, looking him straight in the eye, waiting for Dawson's reaction. She's slightly surprised when she hears Dawson laughing.
"She was looking at you weird?" He had hoped she hadn't noticed. But she had. "Come on, Sam." He sees how she stiffens. "Sorry, Samantha. About Joey, don't worry. It was just that she didn't expect you there, that's all. She wanted to talk with me about something, but that's it. Don't take it personally. She always acts like that whenever a girl gets too close to me that is not her. Well, she used to at least, it's been years since we have been in the same town but I guess some things never change".
"No, Dawson. It was much more than that. I don't know. It's just a feeling," Samantha insists.
"You'll see. Joey just gets a little territorial around me sometimes. It's always been this way with my female friends," Dawson tries to explain again, not only to her but also to himself. "It doesn't have anything to do with us being together or not. Actually, I think she's more possessive when we're in friendship mode than she was when we were a couple."
Samantha raises her eyebrows. "And you say it has always been this way?" she asks, intrigued.
"Yep. Even when she was with Pacey in senior year. It's just the way things are between us," Dawson says, shrugging his shoulders.
"Damn, I forgot. I have to go to the store if I want to have breakfast tomorrow morning. Do you mind if we leave now?" Dawson says, looking his watch and getting in the car.
Samantha feels that this sudden grocery urgency has nothing to do with his breakfast and more to do with their conversation but she lets it go. She promises herself to find out more about it all. She has always liked mysteries this thing between Dawson and Joey seems to be a compelling and challenging one.
She closes her car door, smiling.
A restaurant in New Orleans
"Hey, Lance. It's me. How are things going?" Pacey says and then listens to the person on the other side the line.
"I see. Do you know something new about the permits we are waiting for?" Pacey waits for his answer with an expecting face. "Oh, shit."
Another pause as he stares in front of him at nothing, his jaw tense. "Well, at least all the staff are working and arriving on time," Pacey affirms more than asks.
"Okay then. I'll call you soon, Lance. Bye."
With that, Pacey hangs on the phone with a loud sigh.
He begins to put all the glasses in order under the bar, lost in his own thoughts, when he hears a familiar voice.
"Hey, gorgeous."
Pacey stands up in a hurry and he hits the bar with his head. "Ouch!"
He looks at the person standing in front of him to find the one and only Audrey Lidell.
"Audrey!" he says, his eyes wide and a big grin spreading on his face. "You're still giving me headaches, even after all this time," he jokes happily. He walks out of the bar and hugs Audrey in true Pacey´s style: twirling her around, getting a squeal and laughter from her. Then he puts her on her feet and they hug. It's a tight and friendly hug. They stare at each other, not letting go completely, and smile, happy to see each other again.
"How are you, Pacey?" Audrey asks once the hug is broken, sitting in one of the bar chairs and crossing her legs.
"Fine. And now that you're here, I'm even better," Pacey flirts, leaning in the bar stool, looking relaxed and cool.
"Aw, thanks.You're still the charmer, aren't you?" Audrey flirts back, flipping some blond hair over her shoulder.
"Well, you know me. I haven't changed that much," Pacey looks at her half joking, half appreciatively. "I'm not gonna ask you how you are because I can see already that you're still gorgeous. Even better than I remembered."
Audrey throws her head back and laughs. "Thank you. You don't look bad yourself," she replies smiling.
Both have missed their easy chats, talking about nothing. They continue to chat animatedly as Pacey walks behind the bar and serves her a drink.
"Wild Horse Saloon" in the Village, mid evening
Jack enters the bar in his usual style, coolly flamboyant, casual, a smouldering smile on his handsome face. Joey spots him right away (along with a couple of women...and men) and waves excitedly.
Immediately, Jack's mood changes. The mere vision of an old friend makes him feel good, his mood going from somber to cheerful quickly. The bar, the ambience of it all... seems like old days.
"Dawson!" he exclaims, finally seeing Dawson perched on a stool between Joey and Samantha. "What are you doing here?" Jack is truly shocked, this must be Joey's surprise.
"I live here now," Dawson explained, standing up to give Jack a quick, manly hug.
"Wow! Since when? I had no idea!"
"Since last week," Dawson replies.
"I see. So..." Jack focuses on the beautiful brunette with the startling green eyes. Dawson's girlfriend? "Did I miss something?"
Dawson notices Jack's curious glance and he puts his hand on Samantha's back, making the introductions. "Jack, this is Samantha. She's working with me on a special project. Samantha, my friend Jack."
"Special project, huh?" Jack waggles his eyebrows, shaking Samantha's hand and trying to get the truth out of Dawson. Joey rolls her eyes.
"Oh, no..." Samantha laughs, catching Jack's misinterpretation.
She gestures to Dawson and herself. "We're just friends. He's helping me get settled in the city and we're working together on a collaboration with Steven Spielberg."
"Well, I have now become a fan of Spielberg," Jack says cheerfully, clapping Dawson on the back and raising his hand to get the bartender's attention.
"Only now?" Dawson says, in a mock hurt tone.
"Oh, um... just more so now," Jack covers with a smirk, as he notices the bartender checking him out. So does Dawson who swaps a wry look with Joey.
Some moments later, Jack and Samantha are talking a mile a minute. "I just love your jacket," Samantha compliments him, touching the sleeve. "Gap?"
"How did you know?" Jack laughs.
"I am a major fan of the Gap. I can't afford Gucci or Banana Republic... yet," Samantha giggles. Jack orders her another drink.
"But you dress like you can," he points out. "That's important."
"True, I do have good taste," she says with no false modesty, what makes Jack laugh.
Dawson and Joey swap amused glances. Finally, Jack had found someone to talk fashion with. Dawson and Joey usually preferred deeper subjects, like, world issues, emotions, or life-changing incidents. Usually after a few drinks, they would lighten up and Dawson would comment on her belt, and she would compliment on his shirt... all thoughts of deeper topics gone.
"Ooh...that bartender is totally checking you out," Samantha murmurs slyly, and Jack subconsciously runs a hand through his hair.
"Really?"
"Jack, you have a boyfriend," Joey says loudly, grinning, and Jack jokingly shoots her a glare.
Joey's cell phone vibrates on the table and she quickly picks it up, smiling her apologies at her friends. "Hello? Oh, Ethan, hi..." she turns her body away from them and all three of them lean forward slightly. She then flips her hair over one shoulder and glances back at the table. The three snap back into their original positions. She tsk-tsk's knowingly and then goes back to talking to Ethan, nodding, and 'yesing.' Dawson eyes her every now and then, curious. Is that the guy from her work? He thinks it is.
"All right. Bye. Ethan."
She slips her phone into her bag and Jack says archly, "New boyfriend? Naughty Joey, swapping boyfriends like trading cards..." he means it as a joke to get back at her for her own comment but it strikes a painful chord in Joey and the smile is wiped clean off her face. Dawson sends Jack a warning look, knowing how sensitive and closed-lipped Joey is about the Pacey issue. Jack interprets it as such and murmurs, "I was kidding Jo, I didn't mean it like that."
Samantha studies her drink intently as tension surrounds the three of them before leaving almost as fast as it appeared. She is both amused and bewildered. She's thinking, 'What in the hell have I gotten myself into? It must be true that reality always stranger than fiction.' She has a feeling she is now meeting all the characters of the Creek.... the most interesting one so far the controversial gay boy, after, of course, the territorial best friend.
Danny's bar in New Orleans
The bar is now deserted and only Pacey and Audrey remain.
As Pacey walks around the bar to pour Audrey another long vodka, he can't help but notice how much she'd changed, grown, really come into her own.
"What?" She asks. "Why are you staring? Do I have like a third eye or something?" ("This ain't a love song" by Bon Jovi starts playing in the background)
"No," he says, shaking his head. "I was just wondering whatever happened to the 'anti-Pacey'. I mean, I don't see him in tow. And I don't for one minute believe that he'd let you out of his sight."
I should have seen it coming when the roses died
Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes
I should have listened when you said good night
You really meant good bye
"You heard about that?" she asks, scrunching her face a little.
"I wasn't offended or anything," he reassures her as he adds lemonade to her drink. "Takes a lot to be like me and the world would be crazy if there were too many of us."
She laughs. "You want to know what it was?"
He nods his head as he sits beside her again.
Baby, ain't it funny, how you never ever learn to fall
You're really on your knees, when you think you're standing tall
But only fools are "know - it - alls" and I played that fool for you
"Don't get me wrong. Ryan was great and I really loved him to pieces but he just became so utterly irritating, wanting to be with me all the damn time. Wondering where I was going and who with and was too damn mushy! I dig the mush but geez," she rolls her eyes. "Moderation is a word in the English language after all."
"And why did you decide to come back?"
I cried and I cried
There were nights that died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy, baby
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song
"Well, I've been away for just over two years. Believe it or not, I got homesick. But not home per se. I missed the people and everything...and I just wanted to do something really...wild!" Her eyes go big as she finishes.
He chuckles and she playfully swats his arm.
"Ever the wild child!"
"Damn straight!" She takes a sip of her drink. "I decided I'd just love to travel around the country a bit, but well, the best way to do that is on the ground and if you drive you can go at your own pace, Pace!" She makes a face and sticks out her tongue.
"So just you, the road and the sky?"
"Exactly."
"Why'd you pick New Orleans?" he asks, not really seeing what could possibly attract Audrey to come here.
Baby, I thought you and me would stand the test of time
Like we got away with the perfect crime but
We were just a legend in my mind
I guess that I was blind
"I never really picked it. I was in Florida and was making my way to Houston and I called Dawson and he told me you were here. So I figured here was a good destination."
He nods his head a little. "Did he also tell you that Joey and I split?"
She looks shocked and Pacey is surprised that she doesn't know. "When did...when?"
Remember those nights dancing at the masquerade
The clowns wore smiles that wouldn't fade
You and I were the renegades, some things never change
"Not that long ago. Now is my turn to make me happy."
"So were things as angsty as they always were with you guys? I mean, with Dawson being in town and all, the components of the proverbial triangle back again... "
His laugh echoes around the room. "No, at least I don't think so. We were happy for a while but...things just ran their course, I guess. Dawson had nothing to do with it. It had been going on as much before he arrived in New York. Although I guess that maybe he was also a factor in the back of my mind. He always has been." He runs his hand through his hair and then takes a swig of beer.
And she nods in agreement, knowing only too well.
It made me so mad 'cause I wanted it bad for us baby
Now it's so sad that whatever we had, ain't worth saving
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I've cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yes I'm wrong, this ain't a love song
"She once said to me, years ago, that no matter when the timing was perfect for us, something just wasn't right. I don't know why we thought that had changed. We're clearly not meant to last. We've had our time," he finishes in a low voice as though that has finally dawned on him.
"And you're okay with that?"
"Yeah," he answers very quickly, so quickly that she looks at him questioningly. He realizes and he repeats, this time deliberately slowly, and looking into her eyes, "I can tell you honestly that I am."
"Okay," she says, with her edgy voice, sticking out her bottom lip. "So... tell me more about this restaurant of yours," she demands, with a smile.
"What if I tell you as I walk you to your hotel? The night is beautiful."
"That's like the best proposal you could have made me right now, Pacey."
With that, she puts her coat on and watches as Pacey closes the place. Then they leave, walking together as Pacey puts his arm around her shoulder in a gesture that comes out natural. Audrey puts her arm around his waist and they walk away, chatting and laughing.
Wild Horse Saloon, later on that night
Jack, Samantha, Joey and Dawson are still sitting at the bar having already covered sex, religion, politics and shoes. Samantha is still intrigued by Jack's sly comment about Dawson, Joey, Pacey and Jen all having had sex with each other. She tries to swing the conversation back to it.
"Jack, no more real life sex stories, 'kay?" Dawson warns him lightly, just as Jack opens his mouth to impishly remark on it.
"It's all really like the show, isn't it?" Samantha asks Dawson, excitement filling her to the brim.
"Maybe. I don't reveal my secrets," Dawson says mysteriously.
"All right, back to complaining," Jack says warily, holding up his glass for Cute Bartender to fill it with more gin.
"How is all that stuff going with Mrs. Lindley?" Joey asked, concerned.
"We went to HPA today..." Jack pauses at his friend's blank expressions.
"The Homosexual Parents Association," he explains.
"Ah," Dawson nods. "Okay."
"We're going to fight it...I am just as good a father as any straight man...or grandmother it would seem."
"Exactly," Joey says passionately, extremely supportive of any decisions Jack would make.
"Enough about that, anyway," Jack sighs. "I don't want to bring down the evening." He turns to Samantha. "What's your twisted, dark past? Any family hang-ups?"
Dawson opens his mouth to tell Samantha she doesn't have to say anything but Samantha just shrugs and says simply, "Its not so much dark as it is boring and full of disappointments...and disappointing people."
Jack pats her back consolingly. "You and me both."
"Me too," Joey chimes in with a sigh, eating the olive from her third martini.
"Me three." Dawson raises his hand. "Who does have a functional past and/or family life?"
"Beats me," Samantha replies, shaking her head. "Someone. Somewhere. Probably in Iowa. But..." she turns to Dawson. "It depends what your definition of functional is."
"Uh-oh," Joey says under her breath.
"Well...definitely being a guy whose dad didn't die in a lame-ass car accident or whose ex-girlfriend didn't run off to Florida with his best friend or..."
"Will you never forget that?" Joey asks, slightly annoyed, and maybe a little guilty too. Jack looks at Dawson, who just shrugs his shoulders and then back to Joey.
"Joey, guys don't forget stuff like that. They forgive, but not forget," Jack tells her gently.
"They should," Samantha defends Joey. "It's in the past. I believe in the future." The two girls exchange a glance and Joey nods her head vigorously. It was the obvious thing to do.
"That's a good idea, actually," Jack eyes Joey and Dawson. "Let's drink to the future."
"What future?" Joey grumbles, slumping forward onto the table. "You were right about my boyfriends, Jack. Right! I can't seem to hold onto any guy, ever. I'm tired of getting to that stage where `things are or they're not´ just to find out that they're not," she sighs sadly.
"Well, it's even worst when you're not even in that stage yet and they're already leaving you with the "you are married to your work" mantra," Dawson sighs.
Joey puts on a contrived face as she rubs his back, offering some comfort and looking at Samantha in the process.
"Hey, that wasn't me," she says, and Jack chuckles.
"Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this city?" the bartender says. He has been listening to the conversation. "Even gay men have trouble. I'll bet you have a boyfriend, huh?" He then says to Jack, and Jack nods, apologetic.
"Sorry, dude.'
Joey giggles and Samantha looks terrified. "Really? That's true? You know, it makes sense. Like those Sex and the City women," she says. "Maybe I shouldn't have moved here." The bartender laughs, too, and walks away to serve a group of people.
"You all need to lighten up," Dawson announces after a moment of glum silence. "And I know just how..."
"How?" Joey asks doubtfully.
"Eh, I have something in mind," he says teasingly. "Not telling you what yet, though. But it involves all of us getting together again."
"Well...whatever it is, I'm inviting Ethan. He's pretty new in town and needs to meet some people. And Jack, don't give me that look, we are not dating," Joey murmured, pausing.
"You know, Samantha, you should meet Ethan," Joey says thoughtfully but none to subtle. "Seeing as you two are both new to the city - you can get lost in it together, maybe. Kindred spirits of sorts." Of course, never mind that Dawson too is new to New York. He already has someone to get lost with in New York: her. They need to make up for the lost time.
Dawson looks on, interested and curious while Jack just snorts and shakes his head, knowing exactly what Joey is up to. Samantha nods slowly, smiling, not sure where this would all go. "Well...sure."
"He's cute," Joey adds, smiling. "And you know...you were saying you should move back to L.A, because of the lack of men, well maybe you don't have to. No pressure," she adds quickly.
"Well, thanks, Joey," Samantha nods. "I will definitely have to meet him then," she says, still unsure but not wanting to be impolite to her.
"Me too," Dawson says. "I want to see just how good he is if you think Samantha should meet him," Dawson says protectively. Joey swigged the rest of her drink. "Oh, he's okay, Dawson."
"I want to know more about this thing you have planned," Jack demands. But Dawson remains tight-lipped.
Still in the bar in New York
Dawson is chatting with Jack, or should it be said, Jack is talking to Dawson about Amy: the things she does, the things she says (or tries to, at least) and so on and on. Dawson listens to it half amused, half aching. He can't help but think he wishes it were Jen telling him these stories. He eyes the other side of the table to see Joey and Samantha in a deep conversation. Joey has finally loosened up around her and he is happy. The two seem to be having a great time, actually.
"Sorry to bug you," Jack says after a while, laughing. "I can't stop talking about Amy and sometimes it can be quite annoying to the rest of the world, I know."
"No, not at all," Dawson says, as he looks at a picture of Amy (one of the many Jack carries in his wallet) with bright eyes. "It's just that it's... odd," Dawson says, looking up at him, "to hear you talk about Jen´s daughter as your own, and to think..."
"I know," Jack says.
"Would you mind... I mean, could you...?" Dawson asks, motioning with the hand that is holding the picture.
"Sure, keep it. I got more" Jack says.
"Thanks." A moment of silence passes between the two of them. "Okay, so I'm going for a beer," he says, standing up from the table. "Anyone want anything?" he asks before leaving.
"No, thanks. I'm fine," Jack answers.
Samantha just shakes her head and points to her still half-full beer. Joey does the same, but she looks pensive. Dawson orders his beer and while he's waiting for it, Joey joins him.
"Hi, stranger," she says.
"Hi," he says, smiling. "I thought you didn't want anything."
"I don't," she answers. "But I've been wondering about that idea of yours. What's it about?" she asks.
"No way. I'm not telling," he answers, with a mischievous smile.
"Dawson! Come on, you know you're gonna tell me," Joey warns him.
"Am I?" Dawson teases her.
"Yes, you are. Because if you don't, I'm gonna tickle you until you spill it all," Joey says, with a big grin.
"Oh, no. You're not going to do that," Dawson replies quietly, but a smile still on his face.
"I'm not? And why is that, Mr. Leery?" Joey asks, intrigued but still smiling.
"Because this isn't high school, Jo. And I've grown a little since our last tickle battle. You can't beat me anymore," he says, calmly.
"You bet I can." Joey says, offended.
"I KNOW you can't."
Joey knows that he's right so she lets it go. She just stands there with him until he gets his drink. "Is it true?" she asks, concerned.
"Is what true?" Dawson replies, a little lost.
"What Jack said, about guys not forgetting... about you not forgetting..."
"Oh that," Dawson says, relieved. "He was kidding. But yes, I mean, of course I haven't forgotten but it's not like I think about it anymore. It's just there, one more experience in my past along with so many other happy memories."
"So you agree with what Samantha said then? About believing in the future?"
"Of course I do but why are you worrying about that now, anyway?"
"I don't know," she says, shrugging her shoulder. "I just... am." And she lets out a little laugh. Dawson just shakes his head as the bartender hands him his drink.
"So, what do you think of Samantha now that you had the chance to spend more time with her?" he asks casually, leaning on the bar and having a sip of his beer.
Joey nods her head while pouting her lips. "I like her. She seems smart and funny. She reminds me of Jen sometimes. Or is it just my imagination?"
"No, it's not just your imagination at all. Sometimes, in the way she speaks, right?"
"Yeah, that's it," she says with relief. "She's nice," she adds after a moment, as if considering it. Dawson laughs and Joey just glares him. Then a sweet smile curls her lips.
"And what's going on in your little head, now?" Dawson asks when he sees her smiling that way.
"Nothing. I'm just thinking about this, about us. I know we've spent time together in L.A., but still... I missed this, being in the same circle, our lives being... entwined again," she says, looking at him right in the eyes.
"Yeah, I know. Me too. I'm glad I'm living here now," Dawson replies with the same sweet smile on his face.
"I'm happy about it, too," Joey says.
"It's weird, you know? The other times I've been in New York, I haven't had this same feeling. I've always liked it. But it has never been this way," Dawson says suddenly, dreamily.
"Oh, I love it," Joey says, passionately, "New York, I mean."
Dawson chuckles and continues. "It amazes me how such a big city can be placed in a small place like it is and still you don't feel trapped."
Joey smiles at him, understanding what he's trying to say. Then she remembers that time, back in senior year, when she and Jen had come to New York to visit Jen's father. She knew she would never forget his words.
"You know, what you just said reminds me of something that Jen's father once told me about New York," she says.
"Jen's father? When did you meet him?" Dawson asks.
"Back in senior year, in high school. I had planned to visit NYU and see the city. And Jen wanted to see her father so we came together," Joey explains him. "That day, he took us to a fancy restaurant to celebrate Jen's admissions and there he told me about how much he loved New York and why."
"It had to be a great speech if you still remember it," Dawson says, amused.
(Dawson and Joey main theme starts playing in the background)
"It was. He talked about New York as if it was a person. A lifelong friend that you begin to love," Joey says, her gaze transfixed on some point on the wall in front of her. Dawson is looking at her intently. "He told me about how that love is passionate and intoxicating, at first. But how slowly it becomes comfortable and safe. You two have this special bond and you know it won't disappear. It doesn't matter if you two are together or not, you're always connected. And someday you'll realize that you're madly in love and that you will always be, no matter what."
As Joey finishes her speech, she comes out of her reverie slowly and turns to look at Dawson. They both look at each other silently, staying this way for a moment. Joey suddenly becomes nervous. She can't hold his gaze any longer: it seems to go right to her soul.
She laughs, shifting on her feet and Dawson turns around, his beer in his hand, looking at it, then back to Joey.
"Wow! What a speech," he finally says. "I understand why you remember it."
"I think he was right, you know," Joey says, looking again at him. "About New York, I mean. You begin to fall in love with it, and when you're away, you feel like something is missing."
"Yeah, you're right."
For a moment they just stand there, trapped in each other's gaze, as always happens to them whenever they're caught in a moment. Then Dawson looks at the table where Jack and Samantha are talking and laughing.
"How about we join them?" he says brightly.
"Yep, I think it's a good idea," Joey says, still reeling in the moment and the words she just said.
With that, they walk to the table and join their friends, with Jen's father's words still in the back of their minds.
CREDITS