Teaser: Inside Dawson's Los Angeles Apartment
The walls are bare and the furniture is covered with sheets. There are piles of neatly stacked boxes in some of the rooms. Dawson, dressed casually in faded jeans and a navy T-shirt is standing in the middle of the living room.
(Dawson's voice over)
"It's funny that when I made the decision to come to Los Angeles I thought of it as some sort of "final" decision." Dawson walks to the window and looks outside for a moment.
("Tombstone" by Crowed house starts playing in the background)
Look at all the plans I made
Falling down like scraps of paper
"The truth is no decision is ever really final. Every day you have to wake up and rededicate yourself to your life, to your life choices." He moves away from the window and walks from room to room. We can almost see him fondly remembering the times that he has had in the house.
From the past a rumour comes
Don't let it keep draggin' you down
Throw the memory in an open fire
You'll be free
"If things aren't working you can change, because the power to choose, to change, is always there." Dawson finds himself standing in the middle of the ready to leave house once again.
Roll back the tombstone
Let the saints appear
Roll back the tombstone
Make a new man out of me
"It's all about realizing you have the power. Life is as full of twists and turns. You can't be exactly sure where the journey of life will take you day by day." Slowly walking forward, Dawson pauses at the front door. He places his hand on the doorknob.
Beware the passenger
The train already left the station
"Yet there is still a large part of me that is an optimist that believes that change is just another word for opportunity. And I've learned enough in life to know that when opportunity knocks, I better answer." Dawson opens the door.
(Music of the credits starts playing)
"I believe that everything happens for a reason and if there is a so called final destination or arrival point in this game of life, today I begin the next leg of my journey."
With a smile on his face and without looking back, Dawson exits the apartment shutting the door behind him.
OPENING CREDITS
A park in Capeside
Helen is playing with Amy on the swings, pushing her gently back and forth under Jack's careful supervision. Jack looks decidedly uncomfortable about the entire situation. After a few minutes, Helen takes Amy out of her seat and places her on the ground. Amy makes a run for it behind the swing set and almost falls. Jack dashes forward and grabs her up, giving Helen a stern look.
"I'd appreciate it if you'd keep a closer tab on Amy, Helen." He says with a stiff voice. "She's just learned to run and she'll be off like a shot before you know it."
Helen smiles stiffly back at him, "Of course, Jack. It's been such a long time since I saw her, I forget she's mobile now."
Jack carries Amy over to a patch of grass and places her on the ground. He sits down in front of her and rolls a ball towards her, which she chases and grabs happily. Helen kneels next to Jack and motions for Amy to return the ball which she does, much to Helen's delight.
"Wow, she's so active." Helen comments as she rolls the ball a short distance for Amy to chase. "Is she always this active, Jack?"
"Yeah, usually." Jack is politely short with her. "Mostly she just loves to run around but her favourite thing to do is go to the beach. She loves to go in the water with me."
"Is that safe?" Helen asks.
Jack turns to her, the politeness in his tone gone. "Yes, of course it is, Helen. I don't take her in very far, she just loves the spray."
There is a somewhat awkward silence between them for a moment, broken only by Amy squealing as she tosses the ball to Jack.
"So is she a good eater?" Helen breaks the silence as Jack once again rolls the ball for Amy to chase.
"When she wants to be. She can be really picky at times." Jack refuses to look at Helen as he answers, choosing instead to watch Amy toddle towards them. "We don't let her eat too much sugar but when she gets her hands on it, she loves it. Anything sweet."
"Jennifer was very much the same," Helen comments with a smile. "She was a terror when it came to sleeping. She didn't sleep through the night until she was almost four. Does Amy sleep through yet?" Jack can feel Helen's gaze on him but he still opts to watch Amy instead of meeting her gaze. He hasn't felt comfortable since Helen showed up on the doorstep and her line of questioning makes him even more uncomfortable.
"Usually," Jack finally replies. "Some nights she ends up in with me but usually she'll sleep for eight or nine hours. Depends on how much she's napped for during the day."
"That's good," Helen comments. "Is she still having a bottle?"
Jack grits his teeth, beginning to get fed up with her questions. He takes a moment to compose himself as Amy brings the ball back once again. He takes it from her but doesn't throw it yet. "Only at night, sometimes. She's lactose intolerant and doesn't like the soy milk much, so she doesn't drink a lot of it." Amy gets bored waiting for Jack to roll the ball and settles herself into his lap instead, her head nestled against one of his thighs, and looks over at her grandmother. Her right thumb is wedged firmly into the back left corner of her mouth, her fingers splayed out across her cheek.
"You let her suck her thumb?" The question is more of an accusation. Finally, Jack has had enough.
"She's not sucking it, she's getting teeth back there and she presses on her gums with the thumb. It's purely a comfort thing, the paediatrician said not to worry." Jack reaches down and bundles Amy up into his arms, standing and walking her over to where he parked her stroller and strapping her inside. He turns to face Helen, who is slowly getting herself up off of the ground. "I think she's just about ready for a nap. Maybe we should head back to the house."
And with that, he turns the stroller in the direction of the sidewalk, not bothering to look to check if Helen is following him.
New York City, the street where Dawson's loft is
Dawson is sitting in the back of a cab, leaning forward as he reaches for some bills in his wallet. Some of his bags are already hanging on his shoulders.
"Forty dollars," the taxi driver is telling him. Dawson gives him two twenties plus tip and exits the car, walking to the back to grab the rest of his baggage. Just a couple of suitcases, the moving company he hired took care of the rest.
With a dry sound, the cab leaves as fast at it can. Dawson looks at it over his shoulder furrowing, his eyebrows raised in amusement.
He then looks around, a satisfied smile on his face. New York is still just like he remembered it: noisy, crowded, charming... alive. It's like a big organism, moving, growing, breathing. L.A is more like a prefabricated town, sometimes too superficial for his taste. It has its charms but he has the feeling that New York is going to win him over soon.
Just in that street, there is a flowers shop, a drug store, a barber shop, library... and the list goes on and on. The buildings in front of him are tall, old and made of brown bricks and some of them even have some clothes hanging off the balconies. The street is wide and you can barely see the end far away, as if the street just goes on and on forever. There are awnings in bright colors here and there, some people riding bikes...
People pass him by, in a hurry, glued to their cell phones. Someone on the other side of the street yells for a taxi. A dog is barking somewhere down the street.
And he feels like a brand new person. The future is waiting and he's more than ready for it.
He pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket. On it is the number of his loft, the one Joey found for him. Reading the paper and inspecting the street signs, he finds it easily. In between the flower shop and a coffee shop.
With a huge smile in his face, Dawson grabs his bags and walks toward the building on his left, sorting people so he won't collide to anyone or vice versa. Finally standing in front of his place, he searches for the keys in the back pocket of his jeans. Finally, he gets them out and tries them until he opens the door to the loft.
Pushing his suitcases in with his feet, he closes the door and drops the bags in the floor with a thud. Dawson looks around appreciatively. The loft is large, open wide, with only some thin walls separating what is the private space (bedroom, restroom) from the rest of the place. There are stairs on the far side and his mouth curls up in a big grin when he sees the "Welcome" sign hanging on them. That was so Joey's idea.
He walks towards it and contemplates it for a moment, smiling. Joey has written some famous quotes on it by famous authors and once of them is: "Home is where your heart is". So true. He has just arrived and it feels like home already. He walks up the stairs to find the perfect place to work on any project he might have in the future. He walks down the stairs and walking around the house, he checks that everything he sent is there: boxes full of clothes, some technical equipment, books, some furniture...
Stopping in front of the Welcome sign once again and smiling, he picks up his cell phone and speed dials a number. It is answered on the second ring.
"Hey. I'm at the loft right now and it's amazing. You're the best."
At the other side of the phone, Joey laughs. "The moment I saw it, I knew it was perfect for you."
"You know me way too well," he laughs softly. "And thank you very much for the welcome sign."
"No problem. I just felt like painting." He can hear a smile clearly in her voice. "So... now that you're there, we can be there to visit in a couple of hours. Is that okay?" she asks.
"Yeah, that's perfectly fine with me. I will be unpacking a few things in the meantime until you two get here. And thanks again! See you."
"Later, Dawson."
He hangs up and looks around himself, nodding his head.
"Not that bad," he says, smiling. "Not that bad at all."
Pacey and Joey at the N.Y apartment
Joey enters the kitchen from the living room when she sees Pacey putting away the plates from lunch. She sighs lightly and walks towards him.
"Pacey," Joey says slightly exasperated as she snatches a plate from his hand. "I'm tall but not that tall. When you put the dishes on the top shelf I can't reach them. I almost killed myself the other day trying to get a glass from up there."
"Sorry," Pacey puts the rest of the dishes on the counter. "I was just trying to help."
"I know," Joey says picking up the dishes that Pacey just placed on the countertop. "But there is a reason that I organized everything the way that I did. Because it works for me. I live here."
"I know," Pacey says with a sigh. "But since I spend so much time here, I thought that maybe I could..."
"What, Pace? You could what? You can't just come in and rearrange everything. This is my space. My personal space." Instead of putting the dishes away she just moves them to a different spot on the counter, a spot that she finds more suitable.
"When we were on the boat, my space was your space and vice versa."
"Well, you're not on the boat anymore, Toto," Joey snaps. "We left the boat a long time ago."
Pacey slumps his shoulders a little bit. "I see," he says glumly. "Listen, Jo. I'm sorry if you think that I'm trying to monopolize your personal space because honestly that's not what I intended to do. I just wanted to help you."
As Joey looks at Pacey's face, she can see that she hurt him. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "I overreacted, I know. Things have been stressful, with work. You remember how it is." Her tone is almost patronizing.
"Oh, I think that I can summon up a memory or two from my illustrious days as a stockbroker. You know, back when I had a real job. Because having a restaurant is not a real job." His words are thick with sarcasm but do not completely mask the hurt.
"That's not what I meant and you know it," Joey attempts to keep an even tone. "My family owned that restaurant."
"I know, I'm sorry," Pacey concedes and pulls her into a hug. "Let's just me and you forget about the last few minutes and make each other happy," he says, trying to bright up his tone, although not fully succeeding.
"Can't," Joey says looking over Pacey's shoulder, spying the clock. "We're already later than I said we'd be." Joey pulls away from the embrace and walks into another room. "I don't want to keep Dawson waiting. He's counting on us to help him move in."
"We wouldn't want to keep Dawson Leery waiting," Pacey mutters under his breath.
"What, Pace?" Joey calls out from the next room.
"Nothing," he calls back. Looking to see that Joey is still in the other room, he moves the stack of dishes back to the original spot on the counter.
"I still can hardly believe it," Joey shouts from the next room. "After all these years of living so far apart Dawson and I will only be ten minutes away from each other. Just like when we were kids and all we had to do to see each other was hop in a boat or jump on our bikes. Of course now it's a taxicab... It's funny how things change but they don't. You know?"
Before Pacey can even answer Joey emerges with a cactus plant. "I think it's appropriate," she continues with her chatter. "Don't you?"
"Jen's plant?" Pacey asks with disbelief. "You're gonna give him Jen's plant?"
"Jen gave it to me." Joey does not register Pacey's disapproval. "It was when I first moved to the city. It was my first housewarming gift. For some reason it just made the whole experience real. I wasn't a small town girl anymore," Joey says, remembering the moment, a sweet smile in her face at the thought of Jen.
"And you're just going to give it to Dawson - Jen's plant?"
Joey becomes aware of the disapproval in Pacey's voice. "Are saying that Jen wouldn't want Dawson to have it?"
"I'm saying that I'm surprised that you want Dawson to have it."
"Pacey, he's my best friend."
"Joey, since you've mentioned going over there you have morphed into this giddy school girl."
"That is completely untrue," Joey says as she puts the cactus down on the table. "You can't use Dawson as an excuse to continue a fight about the dishes. You know what he means to me. This isn't something that has suddenly come from left field. I just don't understand why this is suddenly a problem."
"Well, he was supposed to be living on the opposite side of the country, not ten minutes away."
"I thought you two were friends." Joey throws her hands up and sighs.
"And we are friends, Joey. I love the guy, I honestly do but I don't want to share my girlfriend with him."
"What are you talking about?"
"Never mind," Pacey mumbles. He suddenly wants out of the conversation.
"Can we table this discussion 'til later?" Joey asks as eager as he is to avoid further confrontation. "We really have to go."
As they leave, Pacey pretends that he doesn't see Joey move the stack of dishes yet again.
Kitchen at Jack and Grams' place, Capeside
Grams enters the kitchen to find Helen sitting at the table, a mug of coffee in her hands. "You and Jack are back from the park already?"
Helen looks up and merely nods. Grams pours herself some coffee and sits down opposite Helen.
"Are you more rested today?" Grams asks, a slight edge to her voice. Helen looks at her, a confused expression on her face. "I was just hoping that if you weren't tired today so I could talk to you properly about what your intentions are here. What you think you're going to do with Amy." Grams' tone is very edgy and forceful; she herself is surprised by the boldness of it. All she can think of is Amy, though and how happy she is here with Jack and Doug.
Helen tries to maintain her confused look but it crack, revealing a slightly dreamy expression. "I want a chance to make things right, this time," Helen begins. "I just feel like I made so many mistakes with Jen, right up to the very end. I just want a chance to fix that, with Amy. With my only granddaughter." She smiles slightly at Grams', seeking approval that is not forthcoming.
"Why, Helen?" Grams question is open. "You didn't want the chance to make things right with your daughter so why a child whom you've seen less than five times since she was born?"
"Amy is a new beginning for me. A chance to do things right from the start, to change the things that went so wrong with Jen."
Grams sighs, her frustration getting the better of her. This is the response she had feared Helen would provide. "You seem to forget, Helen, that nothing went 'wrong' with Jennifer, and that in the end she was a wonderful and brilliant woman."
Helen looks at Grams', a hint of coldness in her eyes, "But that was your doing, not mine. You also seem to forget that you had a chance to raise a child again in Jennifer. A chance that I gave you, despite my own misgivings about your ability as a mother." She pauses and sips her coffee. "Considering what you've experienced with Jen, I would think you would understand my need to do this with Amy."
Grams looks her daughter in the eye, furious at her suggestion. She needs to make Helen see that there is no point fighting about this; a task that is apparently not going to be that easy.
"It's too late, Helen," Grams begins after a few calming breaths. "Jennifer wanted Amy to be with Jack. And she's happy here, and well loved and well provided for. You ignored and mistreated Jennifer so many times, you used up any claims you had to raising this child." Helen stands up and turns away towards the kitchen sink, not wanting to hear what Grams' is saying. "Helen, you've only met this child twice before yesterday, how can you expect to be a parent to someone you've ignored most of her life?"
Helen rinses her cup and thumps it down in the dish rack, turning back to Grams. "That little girl is my flesh and blood and the only part of my daughter I have left. She deserves a chance to be raised by her own family and I will make sure that she gets it."
And with that, Helen storms out of the kitchen, leaving a very worried Grams in her wake. To some extent, she understands Helen's reasoning. With her mind. But in her heart, she knows they're not enough. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Dawson's loft, New York
Dawson is checking on the hot water, making sure it works. With his hands in his hips, he looks around and try to picture the composition of the place. He definitely needs to move some things around here and there. Maybe putting the sofa on the other side of the room.
And that is what he is about to do when there is a knock in the door. He checks his watch and turns around, smiling, not moving from his spot.
"Come in! It's open"
With that, the door opens and Joey's head peaks inside.
"Hi you," she says, a big smile in her face.
"Hi you, too," he smiles back.
Behind her, Pacey makes his entrance, a smile, although smaller, also on his face. He watches as Dawson and Joey hug, a little too long and then Dawson turns to him, smiling,
"Hey, Pacey. It's been a while."
"Yes, it has," he says while shaking his hand but then they both hug each other smiling.
"So... what do you think? I mean, honestly," Joey asks Dawson, anxiety evident in her voice. Dawson rolls his eyes and looks at Pacey, shaking his head. Pacey laughs softly.
"Joey, I already told you. It's perfect."
A big grin appears on her face. "So my work is as worthy as Samantha's?" she asks, tilting her chin defiantly, giving him a funny look. Dawson can't help but laugh.
"We'll see. You haven't given me any ideas for decorating just yet," he gets back at her.
"Who is Samantha?" Pacey asks, suddenly his attention on the conversation.
"One of the writers for the show and a friend of mine."
"And his summer fling," Joey adds, trying to embarrass him.
"Oh please, is that going to be my stigma forever?" he says, narrowing his eyes at her playfully. "She just happens to be my best friend... in L.A.," he adds quickly when he sees Joey's eyes going wide and her mouth starting to open, half joking, half surprised.
"Nice save," she says and their eyes meet, neither looking away.
Pacey just watches the exchange intrigued and... emotionless. It's not as if it makes him jealous or anything. But there is this flow of closeness between the two of them that he makes him feel a little... out of place.
However, Dawson and Joey continue their exchange.
"Oh, by the way, I brought something for you." Joey hands Dawson the bag she has been carrying.
Dawson takes it with a curious look and looks at Pacey as if for some clue. Pacey just shrugs his shoulders and raises his hands, pretending he knows nothing about it.
When Dawson opens it, he finds the cactus and looks at Joey a little confused.
"It was my welcome present for the first time I moved to New York," she explains and then she pauses. "Jen gave it to me"
"Oh Joey..." Dawson looks back at the cactus, now looking at it with different eyes. His eyes water a little. Joey places a hand on his arm and smiles at him as they just look at each other. "Thank you," he whispers.
"You're welcome."
Pacey hates it when they do this. When they speak to each other with just one look. He feels... excluded. He feels... stupid, as if he doesn't belong there. With them. As if they are in a place beyond everything, beyond his reach.
And this is where his impulsive nature takes over. Suddenly, all he needs is to get some fresh air.
"Listen guys, I'm really sorry but I forgot I got something I need to do. I will come back later, okay?"
As he walks out, Joey turns to see him leave, a serious expression in her face. She debates with herself if she should follow him or not. She knows he is upset, although the reason why is beyond her, like everything related to their relationship lately.
She finally decides to stay.
Dawson watches the scene. He watches the myriad of emotions float across Joey's face. He suppresses his sigh and refrains himself from making any comment, taking Samantha's advice. Joey turns to him, a valiant smile on her face.
"So... where do we start?"
Streets of New York
Pacey walks alone on a crowded sidewalk. Someone shoves him as she walks by and doesn't even apologize. Actually, she doesn't even notice. Pacey just looks at her over his shoulder, his expression contemplative.
Joey didn't follow him, although he didn't truly expect her to, anyway.
As he walks, Pacey watches in faint amusement as people rush by him without any acknowledgement. It's interesting to watch, as everyone appears to be on their own mission. They are oblivious to the others around them. They don't see the taxis that whiz by, they don't notice the buildings that continue to defy gravity as they reach to the sky for their anchor, they are immune to the constant shouting, honking, and chatter that is the soundtrack of the city. If they see the homeless woman huddled on the stoop, they pretend not to.
Pacey pauses briefly and fishes through his pockets. He puts a dollar and some change into the homeless woman's cup. She looks up briefly and smiles. He gives a small smile and continues walking.
He likes the noise, the action, the constant hum of activity whatever the hour may be. He likes it but can not embrace it as his own. Pacey feels like he just doesn't belong in New York...and not for lack of trying. He wants to belong there, he really does. It would make things so much easier. But things aren't easy anymore. Maybe they never were.
Joey and him... little details weren't enough anymore. Actually, it was more about arguing over stupid details like where to put the dishes or not to leave the toothpaste open or Joey getting mad at his chips being everywhere. Years ago, it had been those details that had made her believe in their relationship. He remembers that speech she gave to him their first night together and a little smile shows in his face. Because he brought her napkins, carried her bags and things like that. It was much simpler then, wasn't it?.
Or maybe not.
His face is visibly drawn as he continues to walk. Pacey's pace is slow and deliberate. He is being passed by the masses. It looks as though he is being swallowed by the crowd, by the city. With every step he takes, realization becomes increasingly profound. Things that he didn't want to see are becoming more obvious. The signs are everywhere, as plain as the blinking neon advertisements that dominate the city's landscape.
Seeking a sort of refuge from the concrete jungle, he walks into Central Park and sits on a deserted bench. The day is sunny and warm despite the fact that November is approaching. He probably doesn't need his jacket.
Pacey turns his face to the sunshine and smiles. At first his smile is sad but then becomes more confident. He is brought back to a similar time during graduation where he sat alone and let the sunlight wash over him like a benediction. It was the last thing he had done before leaving Capeside. He had done the right thing then and is determined to do the right thing now.
He knows how difficult it will be to tell Joey. It wasn't easy to tell himself. It will be difficult but not impossible, because he has to do it for himself. He has to save himself while there is still something to save. Before he becomes someone he despises. He just sits on the bench for a while, letting the sun warm his face. It is almost as if the sun is re-energizing him, giving him life. He is a jumble of emotions: sad, relieved, afraid, and yet satisfied.
For the first time in a long time he feels alive and ready for something else.
Dawson's new loft
Dawson is in the main living area, unpacking a box of framed photographs. He's pausing as he unwraps each one, smiling a little at the memories the images bring. Joey is to one side, a box of framed posters and other wall hangings in front of her.
"Do you want me to hang your Imagine poster here or in the bedroom?" she asks Dawson, holding up the framed image that hung in his room for so long.
"It's okay. I can do it later. You don't have to help me with all this," Dawson gestures to the absolute disaster area that is currently residing all over his new abode.
Joey moves over to Dawson and puts her arm around his shoulders in a friendly gesture. "Yes I do. It's in the best friend handbook." Dawson lets out a little laugh and Joey grins. "Besides, I want to help." For a moment they smile at each other, their gazes locked as the rest of the world goes on around them.
Dawson breaks the moment by getting up off of the floor and making his way towards the kitchen. "Coffee?"
"Yeah, that'd be great," Joey tells him. "But that doesn't mean I'm gonna give up. You're gonna tell me later where to hang that poster." Dawson laughs.
As the kettle heats up and Dawson scrounges around in the kitchen for clean mugs, Joey makes her way over the one of the large windows that dominates the east wall of the apartment. She stands in front of it, just absorbing the incredible view of the city. All the years she's been here in New York and it still manages to take her breath away.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Dawson comes up beside her, handing her a cup of coffee. She thanks him then turns back to the window.
"Just admiring the view." A comfortable silence descends between them as they stand and sip their coffee.
"So," Joey asks, "since Samantha is not here, what are your decorating ideas for this place? I can't wait to see what you can come up with," she mocks him.
"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence I hear in your voice," Dawson tells her with a chuckle and then he sips some of his coffee. "Sam had some great ideas for decorating that house even if her first suggestion was to paint the bedroom an 'appealing shade of lime green'." Dawson laughs and Joey tries to join him, a little half-heartedly. She forgets that Dawson had a different life out in L.A., with different people in it. For some reason the mention of Samantha's name annoys her...but only a little. "But I'm sure we can come up with something even better here. If you're willing to help that is," Dawson tells her and Joey raises her eyebrow.
"Just try and stop me." They just smile at each other again. But something is still bothering her in the back of her mind.
"It's great that you've made such close friends out there," Joey says after a moment of silence, trying to make sense of her feelings of €“ is it jealousy? Nah, it's not that. It can't be. There's no reason at all for her to be jealous. "I'll bet coming back here to see little old me will be pretty boring in comparison." For a moment Dawson looks hurt, but Joey quickly covers quickly, "I'm joking Dawson. You need to learn to lighten up. If L.A. taught you anything, it should have been that."
"Didn't have much time, too much work," he says, shrugging his shoulders. Joey looks around the room, uncomfortable all of a sudden, then down at her watch. "Oh, look at the time! I have to go." She moves across the room to where she placed her coat and starts to put it on.
"You're leaving already? I thought you had the day off?" Dawson looks confused and a little hurt at her abrupt announcement.
"I just remembered I have to have to deliver some of my work to Ethan today so he can work on it for Monday." She grabs her bag and moves to the front door.
"Wait, will you and Pacey be back later?"
Joey pauses for a moment and looks at him, "I don't know." And with that she closes the door behind herself. She stops when she reaches the elevator and takes a moment to contemplate her actions just now. 'Why am I acting like such a brat?' she asks herself angrily as the elevator doors glide open.
Because something is wrong. Because she feels too bothered that someone might have taken her place in her best's friends life and she wants it back terribly.
Because it is too soon to think about all this and what it means.
But she has known something for sure the moment Pacey left: there are things that can never be. He left and she felt nothing about it: no pain, no sorrow, no need to rush after him like she would have done in the past, running after him to reassure him with sweet words how everything was perfect between them. But it wasn't. And she wonders how long she has really known. Joey sighs and lowers her head as the doors of the elevator close.
Inside his apartment, Dawson stands looking at the closed door, as confused about the events that have just occurred as Joey is. Dawson knows something is wrong, but he is not sure what it is. He frowns as he makes his way over to the window once again and drinks the rest of his coffee, deep in thought. Was it her problems with Pacey €“ and he knows they must be having problems €“ that made her leave so abruptly? Or was in his mentioning Samantha? Dawson can't help but wonder if Joey likes Samantha. She always looks like she is holding something back whenever he mentions her name, especially when he talks about the time he's spent with Sam in L.A. Which makes no sense.
Dawson shakes his head and takes his coffee cup back over to the kitchen. Sometimes, that girl was just too confusing.
The kitchen of Grams and Jack's house in Capeside
The late light of the evening is coming through the windows, the ray of sunlight falling over the table, which is covered by a nice tablecloth. The place is quiet and neat and everything is perfect, almost idyllic.
Almost.
"Amy, honey, that is a no no, you hear your daddy?" Jack is lecturing Amy softly, trying to take away from her a piece of the cake Grams baked just an hour ago. "You have already eaten a piece before, so no more." He firmly removes it from Amy's hand and as he cleans them with a napkin, Amy pouts.
Doug laughs softly. Amy is adorable when she pouts. Helen, who is in the kitchen with them, just observes the scene with some disapproval on her face.
She reaches her arms to Amy.
"Aw, my poor baby, come see your grandma." She practically takes her from Jack's arms, who looks at her astonished. Doug's gaze goes from one to the other and he can feel something is about to happen.
"He doesn't let you eat any cake. Awww...," she says as she coos to her. "Not very nice."
"Helen, I would appreciate it if you don't talk to her as if I'm a bad person trying to keep her from what she wants," Jack says, clearly upset.
Helen looks at him as if she doesn't know what he is talking about.
"Aw, come on Jack, I was just playing with her. I wasn't trying for her to hate you or anything. Please." She raises her voice a little as if offended he had thought that.
"Are you sure about that? Because I have the exact opposite feeling"
Doug is just watching the discussion unfold in front of him, feeling helpless. He wishes Grams was there. But she was at the church group meeting. 'She should be here at any moment, though,' he thinks, as he looks over at the door.
"You're just over reacting." Helen says, as she calmly reaches her hand and takes a little of cake. She puts it in Amy's mouth as Jack watches. He is about to explode. "Plus, is not that bad to spoil them sometimes," she says smiling at Amy, who opens her mouth happily.
"Oh yes, it's a good thing to spoil them as long as you can control them. That is the easy part, right? To give them everything they want, whenever they want, just to take it away from them when they're not what you wanted them to be. And then, when it all goes wrong, you blame them for your ineptitude and send them away because you just can't deal with it. Right, Helen? Is that what you mean? Is that the way you want me to raise Amy? Or is that the way YOU want to raise Amy once you have taken her away from me? Is that what you are here for? Well, guess what: it's not gonna happen. I am her father, not just some bad guy trying to take away her candy. Jen gave me the rights to take care of Amy, not you, and there must be a reason for that. Don't you think?"
With that, having left Helen speechless, he takes Amy back and walks out of the kitchen. Helen looks at Doug, who just looks back at her, his stare cold, and then stands up. He is on his way out of the room when Grams enters the kitchen, taking her gloves off.
"Well, it's cold despite the sun shining and... " she stops talking as Doug passes her by and she realizes something's wrong. She gives a stern look to her daughter.
Helen is still sitting and her chest is now rising and falling rapidly as her rage grows.
"Who does he think he is? Giving me lectures about raising kids? To throw in my face the way I raised my own child? Who do you all think I am??"
And with that, she is now the one walking out of the kitchen, leaving Grams standing in the middle of the kitchen, looking a little lost. Then she sighs, walks to the table and sits down, her elbows resting in the table, her face buried in her hands.
Joey's apartment in New York
As Pacey wanders from room to room at Joey's apartment, we see a few half-full boxes. He pauses at her dresser and opens her perfume bottle and smells it. He can't help but smile. He picks up a bracelet and he recognizes it as her mother's. She wore it to the Anti-Prom. He can't believe that was ten years ago. Ten years and his life is just now beginning to change. Ten years but he still remembers everything.
Seeing her bracelet, for some reason that he can't quite identify, gives him the strength to move on. He picks up a box and moves it to the living room. As he sets it on the table, his eye catches a picture. It is a photograph of he and Joey at the Leery Christmas party their senior year. Dawson took the picture.
Pacey picks up the picture and studies it. They had fought that night. He had gone to a Worthington party with Joey and she had become upset when he had won over the dean with his jokes. Neither had felt like they belonged. That was ages ago and in some ways the same issues are still there. He still doesn't feel comfortable with her co-workers, with her world. The only change now is that Joey fits right into that world. She doesn't have to go to Dawson or to him to belong. There are a lot of places that she fits in now. Even in the midst of everything he can't help but be proud of her.
"There you are." It's Joey. "I've been looking all over for you."
Pacey puts down the photograph and looks up at her. She seems serious but resolute. Something tells him something is about to happen and not only from his side.
"I just went for a walk," he says, simply.
"You left so abruptly."
"The same could be said of you lately," he says in an even tone. More than once she has left a date or plain cancelled it because she had "something to do" but would never tell him what it was exactly. But who cares now? Because he doesn't want to fight now. He doesn't want to fight ever again.
Joey doesn't say anything. She can only look away, unable to tell him why she wasn't available for him all those times. She sees the box and realizes that he is leaving. She closes her eyes and sighs, feeling some of her resolution go away for a moment. But then it comes back stronger than before. Seems like this is the end of the road.
That was the reason that she had gone looking for him. They have both come to the same conclusion.
"Pacey," Joey says.
"Joey," Pacey blurts out at the exact same time.
The two just look at each other uncertain of what to say next. Or... how to say what needs to be said.
Dawson's loft
Dawson is rifling through boxes, trying to bring some semblance of order to his new place. He's still a little confused about Joey's actions earlier but he's trying to put them out of his mind. He has his head stuck into a cupboard when he hears his cell phone ringing. Hastily pulling his head out, and smacking it on the edge of the door in the process, he fumbles his phone out of his pocket and answers.
"Hello?"
"Hey sexy!" A bright and bubbly voice echoes down the line.
"Audrey!" Dawson exclaims, surprised to hear from her, "Where have you been? It's been months since you last called." He settles down on the couch to talk to her.
"Well, for your information, mister, I've been very busy." Dawson smiles to himself as he mentally sprints to keep up with Audrey's cracking pace of dialogue. He allows her to tell him about all her exploits in Europe before attempting to make a contribution to the conversation.
"So where are you now?" Dawson asks her.
"Actually, I'm in your stomping ground. Good old L.A. I was actually calling because I was hoping I could make a date with you to be wined and dined and generally spoiled by my friend, the oh-so-famous director."
Dawson laughs heartily, "I've missed you, Audrey," he tells her between breaths. "However, I have to be the bearer of bad news and inform you that I'm not in LA. I'm in New York, working on a project with Spielberg."
The squeal from Audrey is so loud it makes Dawson pull the phone away from his ear. Once it subsides, he places the phone back.
"Oh my god! Tell me everything," she demands and Dawson laughs, happy to oblige his old friend. He fills her in on all he details of the new project, enjoying the feeling of comfort that comes from reconnecting with an old friend. He knows that he probably has a grin on his face the size of Texas but he doesn't care. It's impossible to talk to Audrey and not end up grinning like an idiot.
"So how is that girlfriend of yours?" Audrey asks, and Dawson replies with an awkward chuckle.
"Well, Aud, she's not actually my girlfriend anymore, but she's fine." Dawson tells her, the smile slipping a little from his face at the awkwardness of the conversation.
"Aww, Dawson! Don't tell me you're single again."
"Yeah, I know, it's a tragedy. But Sam and I are much better friends than we were lovers."
Audrey sighs dramatically, causing Dawson to smile once again. "What am I going to do with you, Leery?" She asks as if the world is ending.
Dawson laughs. "I don't know," he tells her truthfully.
"So does this mean I'm going to have to come all the way to New York City to see you now?" Audrey asks.
"Yes, I'm afraid it does," Dawson tells her. "I know how much of a tragedy that will be for you. Bright lights, lots of clubs, wonderful friends who you've been ignoring for months.."
"Hey! I haven't been ignoring you. I've just been busy, that's all! Besides, I didn't see you coming to visit or picking up a phone. Who's to say you weren't ignoring me?"
Dawson laughs, feeling about 30 times better than when he got on the phone. "Audrey, I don't think it would be possible for anyone to ever ignore you."
"And don't you forget it!" she tells him.
Jack and Gram's dinning room, Capeside
In the quiet dinning room, Amy is playing in the floor with some of her favorites toys. As if sensing the tension in the air, they haven't been able to put her to sleep yet tonight so they just left her there, near them. Sleep would come sooner or later for sure.
Grams and Jack are settling the table for a late dinner while Doug is in the kitchen getting some fresh water.
"I just knew nothing good would come of this," Jack says to Grams as they move around the table, arranging everything for dinner.
Putting the forks in their respective places, Grams looks over at Jack, who is putting out the glasses.
"I don't know what to think. She is my daughter and I love her, but I can't help and feel unsure about her intentions just like you. Mostly after our conversation this morning."
"Well, you don't need to worry about that anymore, Mother. And thanks for your support by the way. I didn't expect more from you."
Surprised, they both turn around to see Helen in the doorway, bag in hand, her coat on. Doug walks in from behind her, a really uncomfortable expression on his face.
Grams hurriedly walks to her, knowing she hurt her feelings and she didn't mean to. Doug just stands by Jack's side.
"Helen, please, be rational. I know you're mad but you don't need to leave so late in the night. Stay until tomorrow as planned and we all will talk again then," Grams pleads, rubbing her hands uncomfortably.
But Jack says nothing and that is enough for Jen's mother.
"I'd prefer not to. It's clear I'm not welcome here, not even by you," she says, looking Grams straight in the eyes with an accusatory look.
Grams tries to put a hand on her arm but she shies away. Jack lowers his head, but still, he says nothing.
"Please Helen, try to understand. We are in such a delicate situation and then you show up and we just don't know what to think."
"I just wanted to see my granddaughter," she says, looking over to where Amy is innocently playing with her toys, biting them and hitting one with another, having the time of her life. Helen smiles sweetly. "I just want to know her, be with her."
"And you can," Jack speaks and both woman turn to him. "As long as you respect the fact that I am her father. And if I say no to something, that is how it is. I accept advice because I am new at this. All I want is the best for my daughter and I don't want to keep her away from anyone." He swallows hard, trying to gain some composition to say what needs to be said.
He looks over at Amy, who is now mumbling some baby words and studying her hands.
Grams and Helen look at Jack expectantly.
"But if you try to fight me, I will." He turns to face the women and sees the defiant look in Helen's face. She is about to say something but Jack raises his hand and she doesn't.
Grams just looks terribly sorry for everything that is happening, feeling herself in the middle of it all but knowing that her loyalty is, after all, with Jack and with Jen's last wishes. Doug hangs his head down, his hands in his pockets.
"Jen was someone truly special to me. Someone I met in a moment of my life when I needed a friend the most. And she gave me everything. So did Grams," he says, and looks at Grams with affection. Grams smiles at him warmly. "She was my... my other half. My sister, my best friend, my soul mate. Simply knowing that she was out there made me feel good. I know I knew her better than anyone else. She supported me like no one else could and I always tried to return the favor. But she was strong and independent, and beautiful and... I never really had the chance to do so. And now I have her little daughter. That is all that is left of her and I would give my life for it. And I will make sure that she knows who her mother was and what a great person she turned out to be. And I'm sorry but I don't think you can teach her all that because you never really get to know Jen."
Helen looks at him for a moment. She can see the way his voice chokes at the mere mention of Jen's name. She can see how much it hurts for him to speak of her as the past. And she knows he is not trying to threaten her but is just saying the truth. He would fight for Amy.
But so would she, even if his words expressing his love for Jen have moved her. That has nothing to do with Amy's custody. Not in her mind at least.
"You say you knew my daughter and I believe you. I'm sure you knew her better than anyone, better that I ever did. And you think it doesn't hurt to me to hear that? But you don't know me, Jack. And maybe it helps to think of me as a monster. Now it's you who have to believe me: you are wrong." She looks at her mother now. "You both are."
With that, she turns around and leaves the house.
Joey's apartment in New York
"We need to talk," Pacey says quietly.
Joey can only nod. She already knows what this is about. Still, she looks down and swallows a lump in her throat. She knows that this is how it has to be but that doesn't make it any easier.
Pacey pauses for a moment. Now that he has Joey's full attention he's suddenly unsure of what to say. This isn't how he wanted things to be. "This is harder than I thought it would be."
"Yeah," Joey agrees. "It is."
Neither of them move. They just stand there, facing in each other from different sides of the room.
Finally, Pacey starts to speak.
"Do we really want to drag this out like we did in high school? It's not ever going to get better, Jo. I kept hoping that it would. I wanted it to get better and if I had even the slightest bit of hope that it would get better...I wouldn't be saying any of this. But we've been down this road before and I know it won't and I don't wanna wait until I can't even touch you again. I don't want to feel like that ever again, Joey."
"Me neither," she looks at him sadly but is resolved to handle this the right way. "Do you remember something you told me a long time ago, on the porch of the beach house you were sharing with Gretchen? You wanted me to let you know if I ever felt like you were holding me back. You wanted me to let you go if that day ever came." Pacey just nods his head in response.
"I think the time has come that we both do that. We both have to let each other go," she says, looking right in his eyes.
Pacey's face is stoic so Joey continues.
"I know you don't like my work parties and around my co-workers you feel a little out of place. That was the reason why I stopped going to them for a while. Then I realized that I wasn't being fair to myself. And you know I love what you have done to the Ice House and I'm even grateful that you rebuilt the place. But it's just not my place, not anymore. That's why I hardly stop by there. And I'm sorry for that. This isn't how I thought things would be. But --"
"No regrets," Pacey says. It's more of a statement than a question.
"No," Joey smiles sadly. "No regrets."
"Good, Jo. Because I want you to know that I don't regret the time that I spent with you, not one minute. And I want to thank you for giving me the chance that I didn't have five years ago. Because I ruined things back in high school, being insecure and jealous and basically a brat that needed you to reassure me constantly. With time I realized that and I started to wonder how things could be if I acted differently. And I did but then it was you who dumped me. And the question was still unanswered because I couldn't believe you felt nothing for me anymore. So before you gave me a real chance this time, I always wondered if I could ever really be happy without you. I always wondered if we could work out of a boat or a K-mart. But I guess I know now." He couldn't help but sigh at his last sentence.
"Yeah, I guess we do know." Joey, who has been listening to him quietly, can't help but sigh as well. "All this time we've been trying to be those people we used to be when we were younger without wanting to acknowledge that those people don't exist anymore." She pauses briefly. "But I want you to know that I meant every word I told you that day at the wake."
Pacey sighs and feels as if a big weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
"Thanks for telling me that. But looking back on it now...I don't think we should have made any life altering decisions at that moment. Those were days filled with nostalgia, sadness, and we were a little out of our minds, weren't we?"
"Yeah, maybe a little," she half smiles at him and Pacey offers her a small smile in return. "Maybe more than a little."
"Maybe," he mumbles in response. Pacey looks at her and the words come out of his mouth easily now. "I always told you that I was never afraid to love you. And that's true. For a long time loving you was the only thing that made sense to me. But maybe what I was afraid to do was stop loving you. For a long time I thought that you were the only thing that ever happened to me that was worth anything, that I could hold on to. And that... that was a mistake."
Joey's face clouds and her eyes turn sad. She blinks back the tears that are threatening to spill.
"No, not us. I'm not saying we were a mistake," he adds quickly, seeing her reaction. "I'm only saying that I should have let you go a long time ago. Because, honestly, I'm not surprised that this is how it's ending after all, and that might mean something. Don't you think?"
"So this is it?" she says softly, almost asking for a final conformation.
They look at each other and in that look Joey receives her answer. They are used to so much drama and angst in their lives that this seems just too simple. But it is just logical. It didn't take any grand gesture for them to reunite so it's only natural that it doesn't take a sweeping argument or conflict for them to let go. It just feels like the right thing to do. And after everything that has happened they both just want to do what they feel is right and not repeating the same patterns of the past.
Just then his cell rings.
"Hello? Yeah, great. I'll be there in two days. Yes, ok.ay I'll give you a call when I get there. Just make sure that room you talked to me about at least has running water. And flushing toilets would be nice," he laughs softly. "Okay. Thanks a lot, Brench. I'll be seeing you soon."
As Pacey hangs up the phone, he looks at Joey slightly embarrassed. But she just smiles at him.
"I'm glad you decided to take the job. I'm sure that you'll be great."
"Thanks, Jo. I should go now. I need to move all my stuff from here and from Capeside. Then I have to deal with some things there and say goodbye to everybody. I need to start moving."
Though it goes unsaid, they both know his words mean more than they appear to on the surface.
"Take care out there, Pacey, please."
"I will," he says. "You too Potter." He adds, using his old nickname for her, from the old days of childhood hate and banter.
"I will."
Pacey looks at her and wants to say something else but he doesn't really know if there is anything left to say.
"Tell Dawson I'll give him a call."
Joey bites her lip and nods in silent agreement. After a moment, she steps closer to him and gives him a hug. Slightly taken aback at first, Pacey just stands there, motionless, but then he smiles and hugs her back.
Amy's bedroom, Capeside
Jack has Amy on the change table, hair wet from her bath. She's wrapped up in a towel and Jack is getting her ready for bed, the two of them giggling and talking in their own little language. Doug is sitting in the rocking chair near Amy's crib, a concerned look on his face.
"Jack, I think you should have been a little more careful with Helen just now," Doug says, causing Jack to turn away from Amy to look at him.
"I had to tell her what I thought, Doug. I wasn't going to pretend I was happy about her decision to challenge me with Amy."
("On Your Own" by Sense Field" starts playing in the background)
"I understand that, Jack, I do. But she is Amy's grandmother and she does have some legal rights in this area. Whether we like it or not." Jack doesn't respond, he just continues wrestling Amy's flailing feet into her footie pyjamas. "I just think she's not someone we want to make angry. She's going to be enough trouble as it is."
There's a reflection that's so hard to see
Reflections in water of what you could be
Wave crashes over, tides pull you under
If you've ever wondered why you barely breathe
Jack sighs and picks Amy up from the table, holding her warm body against his shoulder where she proceeds to suck her thumb and snuggle down. He looks at Doug sadly, sighing. "I know, you're right. I need to be more careful around Helen, around anyone that could spell trouble for us. It's just... I feel like I'm losing control of my life. Nothing in my life is the way it used to be, so much has changed." Jack's voice is strained and there is an almost desperate quality to it. Doug stands and moves in front of him, reaching out to place on hand on his arm.
All of the ways I wish I could have shown you
All of the things that I want you to know (right now)
All the ways I wish I could protect you
From all the things that you'll learn on your own somehow
"That's because your life has changed, Jack. You are not the person you were six months ago and that's a good thing. Amy has bought more changes to your life than anything ever will again but it's all for the better."
As you grow older you'll live through a war
Before you know it the eyes of a storm
Will rain upon you, not like you ever knew
No, like you've never seen
Like never before
Jack looks at Doug, his eyes sad. "I know that. And that's why I can't bear the thought of not having her with me. That's why I lashed out at Helen the way I did. But that also scares me, Doug. I never used to be the kind of person to lash out at anybody like that."
"I know that, Jack. But you were just protecting your child." Doug tries to get Jack to meet his gaze but he won't. Instead, Jack looks down sadly at the child in his arms. Sensing his gaze, Amy lifts her head and looks at him, a smile forming around the thumb firmly planted in her mouth. Jack can't help but smile back as he watches her.
These are the places I don't want you to see
These smiling faces I don't want to meet
Your heart's extended out
They'll try to tear it out
You'll never be without
The love that's between you and me
Doug reaches out and touches Jack's face, glad to see him smiling even a little. But when Jack turns to acknowledge him, the smile is gone, replaced once again by a sad, worried look.
You'll learn on your own somehow
Dawson's loft in New York
We see Joey approaching the house, a somber look on her face. Pieces of her conversation with Pacey still swirl in her head. Then she stands by the door of the loft and sighs heavily as she knocks. Ten seconds later, a flushed Dawson opens the door.
"Hey, you're back!" He smiles at her and leaves the door open for her, hurrying inside the house. "Come inside, it's cold outside!" he yells as he walks away.
"Yes, it is" she says back, a smile growing on her face as she watches him hammering something into the wall. Joey closes the door and then crosses her arms over her chest, leaning on the doorframe and grinning wide, a twinkle in her eyes.
"I remember the days when Dawson Leery, now acclaimed director and producer, couldn't, for the life of him, hammer a nail."
Dawson turns to her, smiling and wiggling his eyebrows.
"Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Now, if you don't mind leaving all the embarrassing moments in the past..."
She laughs and walks to him as he lays the hammer on the floor. He sits with his back resting against the table, his legs crossed. Joey sits by his side, facing him and mirroring his posture, her knees aligned with his. They just look at each other for a moment and smile, enjoying the company.
Suddenly, Dawson seems to be aware of something.
"Where's Pacey, by the way?" he asks.
"On his way to Capeside. And from there, to New Orleans."
Dawson looks at her curiously.
"We broke up." She faces his stunned expression, biting her bottom lip and smiling weakly at him. "It just wasn't working".
"I'm... sorry to hear that. But I gotta admit I am also... surprised. Everything seemed so... definitive this time."
"I know, but... that's how things work, I guess. Love is a leap of faith." Those words touch some chord in Dawson, as a far echo in the back of his mind... as if he had heard those words before but he can't quite place when or where. "Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't."
"Yeah, I guess that's how it goes."
"He told me he would give you a call, by the way"
Dawson just nods his head, too confused to say anything, to even to think what this all could mean.
"You wanna talk about it?" he asks, softly. Years ago, she cried in his arms when they broke up. But that Joey is long gone.
She frowns and shakes her head, looking away for a moment.
"No. Not now at least."
"Okay then. I can wait." He smiles at her reassuringly, letting her know that he will be there the moment she needs him. She knows this and just the thought of that makes her feel all warm and fuzzy inside, making her feel better instantly. "Well, so that's it," he says, standing up and rubbing his hands, trying to bright up the mood. "We've run out of excuses not to work, so I guess that we can start now."
Joey smiles at him as he holds his hand for her to take and help her get on her feet. She takes it and holds it in hers for a second longer than necessary, their gazes locked as they keep smiling, before releasing it.
"Well, so..." she says, walking while taking her coat off, leaving it over the bar stool and putting her hands oon her hips, grinning brightly. "Where do we start?"
Dawson lets out a sigh as he scratches the back of his head, looking around the place, trying to decide.
Joey just laughs.
Capeside's Cemetery
Pacey drives past the 'Welcome to Cape Cod' sign as he passes over the bridge and then takes the Capeside/Falmouth exit off of the interstate. He gives a small salute as he passes by the 'Welcome To Capeside, Home Of The Minutemen' sign. Pacey drives directly to the cemetery.
At first, his steps are confident and he stares straight ahead. As he comes closer to his destination, he slows down. Finally, when he is by Jen's headstone he looks around, unsure of what to do, of what to say. Then he focuses his gaze upward.
("Blackbird", by Doves starts playing in the background)
The quiet whisper of Pacey's voice is hardly heard in the quiet night. It's getting late, and his bags are in his car, ready to start his journey. He had been ready a long time ago. He just hadn't realized it. He stands there for a few moments, not knowing where to start.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
"Hey, Jen," Pacey says awkwardly. He feels like he should say more. "Uh, long time, no see." He grimaces at his own misguided attempt at humour.
"Sorry," he apologizes and smiles in spite of himself. "That was a bad joke, even for me. I can't see you anymore but I can feel you. That was you at the park, wasn't it? You were the sun for me."
"I haven't been here in a long time... too long and I'm sorry for that. Although I'm sure you would tell me to forget about it. You'd say that I probably had better things to do than haunt a cemetery. Honestly though, I don't. But I will, I promise."
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
"I want you to know that I think about you all the time. More than I probably should. I'm sure you're the prettiest angel they've ever seen. I bet you're breaking hearts, looking all kinds of cute up there." Pacey pauses for a moment when as he pictures her face.
"And when you're not breaking hearts, you're probably looking down on us, shaking your head. Because we still haven't gotten it right. After everything that we've been through, somehow we still haven't gotten it right."
Blackbird fly
Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
"We have done one thing right, all of us that is, including you. Amy. She's a wonder." Pacey pauses for a moment and smiles. "She's loved and loves us and she belongs. Now that she's here, I can't imagine my life without her. Of course I'm still having a hard time getting used to my life without you. But you're here through her, in small ways. Like the other day Jack told her 'no'. I swear she turned her head to the side and smiled at him. Then she did it anyway. And for a moment you were there. But don't worry, she's different too. She's her own little person with an iron will I wouldn't want to go up against. I'm going to see her before I go. I have to get my Amy fix. I promise you I won't lose touch with her. I'll be there in whatever way she needs me. Doug and I were talking about when she starts to date. She's going to have to bring the poor boy home to Jack, Doug, me and Dawson. But I guess that's a good thing. Well, for Jack's peace of mind anyway."
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
"I miss you, Jen. And I guess the real reason that I haven't come down here is that you would have made me think of the things you said to me at the hospital. You were right, of course. You always were. When you were alive it would sometimes annoy me the way that you could read me. Now I miss it. I crave that understanding. But I know what you were saying now and I'm on my way there. I'm finally taking your advice. I hope you're proud of me."
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Pacey pauses for a moment to collect his breath. A breeze blows past him and he looks up and smiles. "Love you, Jen." He discreetly wipes a few tears from the corner of his eyes. "See you later, Angel."
He stands for a few more seconds by Jen's grave and he turns around and starts walking away.
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise