Doug entered the garage, intent on helping clean out junk of his parents, when he spotted leftover pieces of Pacey’s boat, True Love. Nature’s elements had had a field day with the boat, these the few scraps scavenged.
Pacey wouldn’t let on how much he missed the boat. It was a retreat from his troubles. It held a summer of memories with Joey. It was a labor of love in more ways than one. But now the boat was destroyed and…
“It was a beautiful boat.” Doug raised his head to find the voice.
Jack was standing at the entrance, surprised to find the other Witter staring at the remains of the boat. Then again, he wondered why Pacey left the plans for the senior prank here in the first place. Had he been that worried about Joey finding out? Then he remembered another part involved Pacey tagging along with Doug on that day, thinking maybe the two were coinciding.
“It was a nice belief,” Doug expounded. “Too bad it didn’t last.”
“Just because the boat didn’t survive doesn’t mean Pacey and Joey’s relationship couldn’t weather the storm.” Jack cautiously entered the garage, settling his weight against the workbench.
“Perhaps,” Doug replied doubtfully. “Or maybe, because I’m old enough to realize that true love is just an exuberant, youthful fantasy.” He picked up a piece of wood. “A momentary lapse quickly dashed by reality.” Even he was taken aback by the negative tone. Wasn’t he the one who told Pacey about the butterflies?
“Uh huh,” Jack said, not sure of any other way to react.
Doug felt this need to retreat a bit. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not normally a cynic. It’s just, there are times one wonders why so many relationships fail.”
Jack said in a low tone, “Or maybe it’s because you try to keep yourself busy so you don’t realize you don’t like being alone.” Jack had kept himself occupied coaching the girls’ soccer team, schoolwork and, despite his protests to Andie, occasional college plans. It helped him not think about how he’d failed to make much progress after making a fool of himself to Ethan.
Doug tried to read Jack’s expression. He may have been years older than the boy Doug knew as one of Pacey’s friends but it was as if Jack was reading him. Doug could claim that being a deputy was a time-consuming job, one that didn’t stop when the shift ended. But, really, what crime occurred in Capeside? Parking meters, five miles over the speed limit, maybe parties at the golf course, but these were few and far between. It was all blocking out what little of a life Doug had.
Jack noted the pensive look forming on Doug’s face. He comprehended too late that his words might have hit a nerve with the officer. He explained, “It’s just that I…um…built up this person in my mind last year. I thought it could have worked out between us. After it didn’t, I found it was easier to deal when keeping occupied.” He was being careful with the pronouns here. Even though all of Capeside knew Jack was gay, it didn’t make the conversation any less odd. Jack was aware that Pacey made jokes to the effect that Doug was in the closet. Though Jack had written them off as false, he guessed there could be residual anger about those comments. It wasn’t as if, in the few times they had crossed paths before this, Doug reacted any differently toward him than to any other Capeside resident.
Doug cringed, assuming wrongfully Jack was attacking him. It seemed silly to have even thought that. After all, what Jack knew about him was probably through other people. There was no malice intended. So why was he on the defensive? He opted to give the type of advice an adult should give to a teenager. “Don’t give up. You’ll find someone.”
“I suppose,” Jack said skeptically. Those words sounded hollow given Doug’s previously remarks. After a minute of silence, Jack asked, “Have you? Given up, I mean.”
“Despite what my little brother may have told you, I do date…occasionally. It’s just…I’ve discovered that the girl who gives you butterflies one day isn’t as important to you the next. It’s not that it could never be, just not the most important as you get older.”
“Maybe the right person is out there and you haven’t found her yet,” Jack offered. Where the hell was Pacey? It was getting more uncomfortable. Though Jack was oddly at ease talking to Doug Witter, there was this feeling the conversation could veer away from safe topics at any moment.
“That could be,” Doug conceded. “Though you’d have to admit that holds true for yourself as well.” Doug realized as soon as the words were out Jack’s doubts weren’t about relationships in general. It was about finding the right guy who wanted a relationship with another guy. “Sorry, I guess it’s a little different.”
“It’s a smaller playing field,” Jack remarked wryly, not wanting Doug to feel guilty. “You’d think it would start to get easier. Not the case.”
Doug was about to assure Jack when they heard someone walking through the leaves. Pacey popped his head in. Upon seeing Jack, he exclaimed, “There you are!”
“You told me to meet here.”
“I did?” Pacey asked. Jack nodded. “Oh yeah, that’s right. I wanted to get two things over with at once.”
Doug said firmly, “You’d better remember the ride-along tomorrow. Bright and early…”
“I know, Dougie,” Pacey replied, hating being treated as if he didn’t know what responsibility meant. “Now that that’s over with, we’d better go meet Dawson. He’s at the school grou…at the grass field by the school,” catching himself before revealing any of the plan to his brother.
Jack hopped down off the workbench. “Sounds good.” He waited for Pacey to walk out of the garage before turning around to Doug. Jack couldn’t figure out what to say to the guy now that he’d actually engaged in a conversation with him. He offered a quick wave, mumbling a goodbye, before following Pacey.
When he was sure the two wouldn’t walk back, Doug stood up and walked to the exit. He watched as Jack stepped into Pacey’s car and they headed off to wherever they were really heading. He’d heard mumblings about a senior prank. The less he knew about it, the better.
There was something that drew him to Jack. When Doug would see him on the street or hanging out with Pacey and friends, Jack was always the one that caught his attention. His dark hair, the green eyes that sometimes sparkled when he smiled, the signs that he was working out with the football team.
Doug shook his head, feeling creepy for even thinking in detail about him. About someone who was a minor. For someone who was a guy. A person who could lure Doug from a world where he felt safe.
The thing was, Doug was certain Jack had no idea the effect he could have on someone. The guy that broke Jack’s heart clearly didn’t see the same person Doug saw.
Doug was supposed to be the guy that was the butt of the jokes of the lawbreakers of this town. He was the one in the family who was supposed to do the right thing, especially the way that his father considered right. He was the uptight officer who wasn’t supposed to get the joke.
So why was he so scared to be the person he really was, as opposed to everyone else’s vision?
Pacey backed the car out of the driveway to turn onto the street. Jack was looking out the window, catching Doug’s eyes on him. He looked away, not sure what to make of getting caught.
Just because Jack wasn’t around didn’t make it any easier for Doug to forget any details. Sure, it would be less frequent a reminder as he saw Jack less as senior year went on. But when their paths would cross, Doug would be taken back to the moment when he saw the person he wished he were instead of the one who stood still.
Believing Again by Kris S
Notes
Takes place between "You Had Me At Goodbye" and "The Unusual Suspects".