“I should get back. My parents are probably wondering where I am,” Ethan told Jack as they walked back into the house.
Jack nodded, both relieved and strangely sad. “Okay.”
Ethan stepped toward him, putting his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “I had a really . . . nice time tonight.”
“So did I,” Jack said honestly.
They started sighing and making awkward noises and uncomfortable movements toward the door. Jack pulled the doorknob open for Ethan. As he peered out in the darkness, he saw Grams’ car pulling up in the driveway.
“Oh . . .” Jack said, unreasonable fear gripping him.
“That’s your Grams?”
“Yeah.”
Ethan took a long look at her and turned to Jack. “D’you . . . want me to go through the back door?”
Jack paused, considered, and became resolute. “Absolutely not. It’s no problem. I should go help her with her bags anyway.”
Ethan smiled approvingly. “Okay. I can help. You know, that is, if you want me to?”
“Oh. Okay. Sure.” Jack walked through the yard with Ethan in tow, waving at Grams.
“Hi, darling,” she said as he walked up. “How are you?” She got out of the car and gave him a protective hug. She noticed Ethan standing just behind him. Slowly, she moved toward him. Sticking out her hand, she smiled at Ethan. “Hello. I’m Evelyn Ryan. And you are?”
Jack began talking quickly. “This is Ethan. I met him on the train last week. He, um, just stopped by.”
Ethan took her hand and returned her greeting. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Ryan.”
She put her hand on his shoulder. “Call me Grams. Everyone does.” Then, she turned to Jack. “Do you think you two could help me bring in my bags?”
They nodded and began emptying the trunk.
“Pacey,” she said, breathing heavily.
“Yes,” he replied, lifting his lips from hers long enough to make a word.
“We . . . we should stop.”
“No, Jen, we definitely should not stop,” he said as he stroked the side of her face.
“No, Pacey, we really should,” she said, suddenly laughing.
“God, no! Not this again!”
“No, no, no, Pacey – I’m not laughing because of this.” She motioned to them, sitting on the bed. “What I mean is, I hear Grams in the kitchen.”
Pacey burst out laughing himself. “Oh. Well, then. That is a good reason to stop.”
When they exited Jack’s room, Pacey saw a glance pass between Jen and Jack that was undecipherable to him. So much of what they said to each other, he noticed, was not said at all.
“Hello, Pacey,” Grams greeted him with her usual kindness. “It’s nice to see you again. I trust your father and mother are doing well?”
Pacey nodded. “They are.”
Several moments passed, and Pacey spoke again, “I guess I should get going.”
“Me too,” Ethan added.
Pacey cocked his head in Ethan’s direction. “Do you need a ride?”
“Yeah, actually. That would be really great.”
Pacey turned to Jen. “Thanks a million, Jen, for tonight. I mean, just . . . thanks.” He gave her a long hug, during which he whispered in her ear. “Can I call you in a couple of days? We’ll figure all this out somehow.” He felt rather than saw her nod and pulled away from her gently.
Moving toward Jack, Pacey started to shake his friend’s hand, but felt that Jack deserved more. Pacey hugged him, forgoing his usual masculine shake-and-pat-on-the-back. “Thanks for keeping my mouth off the bottle tonight. I can’t tell you what a good time I had.”
“I just bet you did,” Jack said teasingly, making it known that he was aware of what had passed while he was out on the docks.
Pacey smiled nonchalantly and turned to Ethan. “You ready?”
Ethan was unsure how to bid Jack goodbye. Jack took care of it before Ethan could consider the range of possible farewells that might fit this situation. “I’ll walk you guys out.”
Ethan could see that Jack was not prepared for another kiss. Instead, they hugged. As Ethan stepped into Pacey’s truck, he promised Jack, “I’ll call you.”
Pacey smiled from the driver’s seat. “Later, Jack.”
“Bye, Pacey.”
Jen walked with Grams to Grams’ room, planning to help her unpack.
“I’m sorry I was so late, Jennifer.”
Jen shrugged off the apology. “No problem. It’s good to see you, though,” she said, suddenly grateful for Grams.
“I can get this. You and Jack should go to bed. Don’t want to ruin your chances with Santa Claus!” she finished, grinning.
Jen smiled, conciliatory. “Okay.” As she walked to the door, she turned back. “I’m glad you’re home, Grams.”
Grams smiled happily and continued folding her clothes.
“Oh, no. No. No. No,” she called out to Jack, who was making his way down the hallway to his bedroom.
He turned quickly and ran toward her and picked her up, swinging her around, her feet barely missing the walls. “Jen! You’re not going to believe this.”
“What?”
He pulled into his room by the hand, the entire story of the night on the tip of his tongue. He saw that the quilt on his bed was pulled almost entirely to one side. Stopping in his tracks, he realized that, even more than wanting to tell Jen his news, he wanted to hear hers.
He looked at her and she looked back at him.
“I knew it!” he screamed. “You and Pacey . . .”
She crossed her arms in front of her, nodding. “Okay, okay. Well? Do you want to hear the entire story, or just the Cliffs Notes version?”
“Uh, the whole story, I guess.”
“Okay,” she said, pulling him down onto the bed. “It all started when we went to Witch Island.”
Jack nodded, remembering ruefully that he had spent that weekend helping Grams clean out the pantry for winter.
“Anyway, Pacey and I dissected and reconstructed previous relationships as we waited in vain for Joey and Dawson to find us in the woods. I guess we . . . I guess we decided what I forgot once upon a time.”
“And that is?”
“Sex, good. Love, bad.”
Jack frowned, unsure what to say.
She continued, undaunted. “I mean, granted, after tonight I’m beginning to seriously doubt that premise, but that’s what we decided, in any case. And Pacey agreed. We opted to begin a totally consequence-free, emotionless relationship based on sex alone.”
“Wow.”
“I know. Not the best idea, apparently, since I ended up falling for him. Falling hard.” She choked on her words, new as they were to her vocabulary.
“Oh, Jen.”
“I know, I know. But Pacey had already fallen hard. Not for me, though. For someone else entirely – Joey Potter.”
Jack nodded.
“But tonight – I don’t know if it was the late hour or the cheap Christmas music filling the house – but he felt something, too. We both . . . I mean, I told him how I felt and he sort of started . . . kissing me . . . and . . . and as he was leaving, he said he would call.”
Jack continued nodding.
“You’re thinking something. Spill.”
Jack shrugged, but spoke anyway. “You know how I feel about you, Jen. You know that I think what you give is so many thousand times more powerful and potent than what Joey could ever give.”
“But?”
“But . . . I think you’re going to kill yourself with this. I think this is destined to end badly. I know how you feel about Pacey. Believe me, I know. I just . . . don’t want to see you hurt.”
It was Jen’s turn to nod knowingly. “Yeah. I’ll be careful, Jack. I’ll be careful, but I still have to try to make this work. The way I feel about Pacey, well, it’s the first time in a long time that I’ve felt anything like this.”
“I know, sweetie. Just be careful with your heart, is all I’m saying.”
“Oh my God! I totally forgot! You had something to tell me. What was it?”
Jack blushed immediately.
“I wasn’t expecting it. The memory of it is already black-and-white with unreality and distance.”
“Quit the pontificating. Tell me what happened!” she chided him, jokingly.
“We walked out on the docks. He kissed me.” It poured out of Jack’s mouth in one short breath.
Jen grabbed his hands with hers, excitement filling her face. “That’s so incredible. I’m amazed. That’s beyond adorable, Jack. How romantic.” A moment passed, then she thought to ask: “So, how was it? I mean, what did you think?”
He breathed in and out once, slowly, and tried to tell her what it felt like. “I’ve been kissed before. I’ve kissed people before. But standing out there, I felt like I was being kissed for the first time. It was all those things I always thought it should feel like. It was all the anticipation and excitement and fear I expected to feel – but didn’t – in each of the kisses I’d had before. It was like a movie kiss, that way. Totally . . . earth-shattering.”
Jen glared at the happiness in his face. “In all the time I’ve spent with you, Jack, I’ve never seen you like this before.”
“In all the time that I’ve been me, I’ve never felt this way.”
“Jack! Jennifer! Go to bed!”
Jen pointed to the living room, from whence Grams’ voice was coming. “I guess she wants us to go to bed, huh? She mentioned something about Santa.”
Jack burst out laughing. “You know, after tonight, I might just decide to believe in Santa again.”
“I’m happy for you, Jack,” she said, and walked to the door.
“Jen?”
She turned.
“You still thinking about Joey?”
Her shoulders slumped as she nodded sadly.
“C’mere,” he told her. She walked up to him and he wrapped his arms around her. “Joey is a thousand wonderful and unforgettable things,” he spoke into her hair, “but I plan to never let you forget that what you’ve given me are things that only you could have given. Sweetie, if Pacey grows to love you, then that’s all for the better for both of you. But if he doesn’t . . . if he can’t . . .” he thought for a moment. “Forgive him. Forgive yourself.” She remained pressed against him.
Finally, he spoke again. “When I was really young, Tim would beg me to sleep in the hallway with him, trying to get a peek at Santa.”
Jen looked up.
“Jen? Do you want to sleep in the hallway with me tonight?”
“I would love nothing more than to sleep on the hard linoleum hallway floor next to you, Jack.” She grinned at him, pulling away long enough to grab two pillows and blankets off the bed.
They fell asleep with their feet at the edge of Jack’s doorway and their heads in the kitchen. She could feel him next to her, breathing in and out peacefully. Soon, she, too, was asleep.
The End
I wish you all a very happy holiday season. :)