Doug Witter ran his finger along the side of the glass in front of him, letting the condensation fall down to the bar. He sighed when he heard the ice in the glass settle. He couldn't believe that he had nothing better to do than sit there alone playing with a glass.
"How pathetic is it for me to be dateless at my little brother's wedding?" he mumbled to himself.
"It's not so pathetic," he heard from beside him.
He looked up at the woman, petite and slender with blonde hair. She had a distinctive glitter in her eye and a perky smile on her face. She seemed harmless enough, even if she was a little young for him.
"Well, I'm glad someone thinks so," he said, smiling gently at her.
"Andie McPhee," she said, holding her hand out to him.
He shook her hand, noticing her tight grip and smiled back. "One of Pacey's ex-girlfriends, huh? I'm sure you're just as thrilled to be here as I am."
She shrugged, leaning back on the bar, resting on her elbows. "I know that I never would've put money on Pacey walking down the aisle with Joey," she observed.
"She always seemed too no-nonsense to put up with the likes of him," Doug said. "This surprises me, even when it shouldn't."
"It's funny how things change," Andie said softly. Things were silent as she looked over at his sullen expression. "I always wondered why I never got to meet you."
"Us Witters were never exactly the Cleavers. And Pacey never took more of us than he had to."
"You regret that?"
He shrugged, not sure how to answer. "I see brothers all the time who rely on each other for everything. Me and Pacey can't even have a civil conversation."
"So maybe he thinks the same thing," she offered.
"Maybe," Doug said, taking a sip of his fresh drink. "So, if I recall correctly, you're a successful over-achiever who's at Harvard Medical, right?"
She laughed, nodding her head. "I've forgotten some of the subtle nuances of Capeside."
"Like?"
"Like everyone knowing my business," she said. "Of course you conveniently neglected to mention my crazy mother, my gay brother, or my uppity father. Then of course there are my own problems, which everyone in town gossiped about to no end. How I went off to stay at a mental institution, subsequently ruined my relationship with that 'no good' Witter boy--no offense--and cheated on the PSATs."
He laughed. "We all make mistakes sometimes. Capeside's not exactly known at the beacon for discretion."
"I suppose not," she said, scanning the room. "You know, my brother Jack is around here somewhere. I'm sure you two would hit it off."
Doug raised his eyebrow. "Why is that?"
Andie blushed. "Well, he's . . . and you're . . . and I just thought . . ."
"Pacey told you that I was gay, didn't he?"
She nodded. "What? Everyone doesn't know?"
"I'm not gay," he said.
"Are you sure?"
"I think I'd know."
"Sure you would," she laughed nervously. "I guess that I'm . . . I don't know, concerned about my brother. He needs someone good in his life."
"What about you?" Doug asked, raising his eyebrow.
"What about me?" Andie asked, shaking her head a bit as she looked back toward him.
Doug laughed at the triteness of that line. It was pretty sad the first time he'd let it leave his lips, and he wouldn't dare let it cross them again. "Nothing," he said. He took a drink from the new glass the bartender placed in front of him.
Andie smiled. "No, tell me."
"I make a fool out of myself enough when words leave my mouth the first time. I'm not dumb enough to repeat myself," Doug said.
"Were you asking me if I had a boyfriend?" Andie said, a full grin on her face.
He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Right near the top of my list of things I hate that people do is pretend they didn't hear you when they really did."
"You make a lot of snap judgements, don't you, Doug?" she asked.
"I go with my gut," he said. "That's different."
She raised her eyebrow teasingly. "And what did your gut say about me?"
"It said you were cute and looked harmless enough," he said, his eyes focused to the front, rather than on her as he took another drink. "Now I'm beginning to wonder if you're harmless at all."
Andie thought for a moment, but Doug continued. "You pretend to be naive, but you're obviously very calculating."
She laughed. "Snap judgement," she taunted.
"Sure. You see me sitting here all alone, knowing I never really got along with my brother, and you figure 'Hey, he looks lonely. I'll get Pacey's gay brother to hook up with my gay brother.'"
Andie smiled at Doug, looking straight into his skeptical gray eyes. She looked at the ceiling before turning her eyes back to him, and said, "Actually, I just saw you sitting here, figured you were kinda cute and looked harmless enough."
He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and smiled. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to pick me up."
Andie sat on the stool next to Doug, crossed her legs, and rested her elbow on the bar. "Wouldn't be the first time I tried to pick up a gay guy."
He furrowed his brow. "You didn't deny it."
She laughed. "I deserve happiness just as much as my brother," she said. "I figured you go for at least one of us."
"Are you usually this . . . outgoing?" he asked.
"Not usually," she said, crinkling her nose. "Weddings do . . . something to me. I guess I feel like it's as good a time as any to cut through the crap while everyone else is burying themselves in it."
"Crap?" he asked.
"Yeah, the 'til death do us part mumbo jumbo. The illogical manner in which everyone acts during weddings. They pretend that true love always wins and try to ignore the fact that chances are a year or two from now it won't be death that parts the two lovebirds, but instead it will be a divorce lawyer and some sad excuse about a mistress or leaving the toilet seat up and not washing dishes."
"So I take it you don't wish Pacey and Joey well," Doug said matter-of-factly.
"To the contrary," Andie said. "I wish them the best of luck. However, the cynic in me doesn't see Pacey and Joey lasting."
"And I thought Joey was supposed to be the cynical one," Doug laughed, taking another sip from his glass. "Because I bet the optimist in you is hoping it doesn't last."
"I may not know much, but I'm positive I'm not transparent. You can't make that judgement after meeting me, what was it?"--she looked at her watch--"fifteen minutes ago."
"And you think after six, seven years, you'd be over my brother," Doug said.
"I'm completely over Pacey," Andie said simply, her voice having a small, taunting lift.
"Then you clearly feel beaten by Joey," Doug assessed.
Andie leaned closer to Doug, resting her elbow on the bar and placing her chin in her hand. "You must explain that one to me."
"Okay," he said nodding his head slowly. "Pacey had time on his hands while you were . . . away, and he started hanging out with Joey. The time just capitalizes when you two break up. You completely set him up for that."
"Excuse me?" she asked. "I set him up for nothing. I wanted him back."
Doug nodded. "And that's why you feel like you lost to Joey. Eventually, he had a choice: go back with you or turn to her. He chose her. Years later they were wed, and you're stuck chatting with Pacey's half-drunk, not-so-gay brother."
"You think you understand everything?" Andie asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically. "You don't get it."
"What I get," Doug said, "is that you sitting here with me has nothing to do with me. It has to do with Pacey." He paused looking over his shoulder, pointing toward Joey and Pacey dancing. "And, sweetheart, he's not worried about you."
"Actually, Doug," she stated haughtily, "I think I know what this is about. Just as soon as I start to think I might like you, you pretend to be a complete asshole to chase me away."
"And you're still here," he said, widening his eyes.
"And what is it about me that you don't like?" she asked.
He laughed bitterly, looking back at her. "I don't like Pacey's sloppy seconds."
"I should be offended," she said easily, turning her seat a bit.
"That was the point," he said. "In case you haven't noticed already, I'm not my brother."
Andie smiled wickedly, leaning toward him. "And in case you haven't noticed already, that was the whole point."
* * * * *
NOT to be continued.
Catch a Tiger by the Toe by Kilby
Notes
This isn't your normal story from me. Of course, it's probably different from most fanfic. I just felt it was a time for a little shake up as far as traditional pairings are concerned. So consider this your warning that this isn't a Pacey/Joey story.