"We are the best-kept secret in the universe. Our mission is to monitor extra-terrestrial activity on earth. We are your best, last, and only line of defense. We work in secret. We exist in shadow. We dress in black."
-- From the "Men In Black" Video
It was a brilliant, sunny day in mid-summer where Pacey was sitting on a park bench reading his literature book. "Gee, Pacey, I would've thought you'd be smart enough to keep yourself out of summer school," he scolded himself. He re-read his assignment. "Write an essay using a satirical form similar to Swift's in A Modest Proposal. Great. This man has got to be an alien, because he is seriously living on another planet."
"Why do you say that?" a man asked, appearing seemingly out of nowhere from behind him. The man sat next to Pacey on the bench. He was shoving a pair of black sunglasses into his jacket pocket. The man wasn't a bum, as he was impeccably dressed in a black suit.
"Excuse me," Pacey said.
"Why do you say he has to be an alien?"
"Because he's insane if he thinks I'm going to spend ten seconds of my summer writing some stupid essay," Pacey answered.
"And what do you think about aliens, Pacey?" the man asked.
"How in the hell do you know my name, man I don't know?"
"I've been watching you," the man said.
"Okay," Pacey said, inching away from him. "You are a little too strange for me, so I'm just going to go, okay?"
"What do you think about aliens, Pacey?" the man asked again.
"I think you must might be one," he said. "Why in the hell are you asking me that?"
"Have you ever seen Men in Black?" he asked.
Pacey laughed. "You've got to be kidding me. What did you escape from Shady Acres or something?"
"Oh, it's real," the man said. "Completely true."
Pacey looked at him skeptically. "So you're one of the Men In Black?"
He shook his head.
"Well, I thought that your agency was top secret. Why'd you let them make a movie about it?"
The man removed a slender, silver object from his pocket. "You remember this thing?" he asked.
"Sure," Pacey said. "That's the flashy thing that takes the memories away."
"Standard issue neuralyzer," the man said. "The problem is we had an inexperienced rookie who felt the need to unload, and he didn't use the neuralyzer right. The man remembered everything he told him. Luckily it made a good screenplay, but no one believed it. Thing was after the movie, things got a little easier for us."
"Okay," Pacey said, trying his best to placate the man.
"Pacey, would you want to be one of us?"
Pacey laughed, but was startled to see that the man wasn't laughing. "This isn't a joke, is it?"
"No," the man said. "You're just the kind of man we look for."
"Why?"
"You've got all the common sense sort of intelligence we could ask for, and, I mean, you seem rather frustrated with your life, especially since your girlfriend left."
Pacey cringed at the mere mention of Andie, and he didn't want to have to think about their break-up. He chuckled a bit, though. "You mean no one would care if I left."
The man shrugged. "I know it's true," Pacey sighed. That was rather sad. "So I'd be killing aliens?"
"Sort of," the man said. "You'd be working as my partner. I run the immigration beat. Trying to keep the illegal aliens out of town."
"Are you for real?" Pacey said. "You want me to give up my life to team up with you to fight aliens?"
"I know it's not an easy job," the man said. "But it's important. If you decide to take it, it will be like you never existed. No ties to family, friends."
"Do I get twenty-four hours like Will Smith?" Pacey asked.
The man nodded. "I'll find you tomorrow. I hope you'll know the answer."
"Wait!" Pacey yelled at him. "What's your name?"
"Agent Q," he said. "And I'll find you."
Pacey watched the man walk away, almost as mysteriously as he had appeared.
* * * * *
Pacey lethargically walked into the video store greeted by a wide smile from Dawson. He rested his elbows on the counter, looking up at his friend.
"What's up, Pace?" Dawson asked, a little concerned about his friend's sour mood.
"You have a copy of Men In Black?" he asked.
Dawson went and retrieved the movie with relative ease, handing it to Pacey. "Now, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Dawson asked.
"If I suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth no one would miss me," Pacey stated.
"How do you get to thinking about these things?" Dawson asked, laughing.
"It's true," Pacey said seriously.
"That's not true, Pacey," Dawson said. "Tons of people would miss you."
"Like who?"
"You're missing the obvious," Dawson said. "You know that I would miss you."
"And what have I done for you lately, Dawson?"
"You listen to my whine about my horrible life. You're my friend," he said. "You've been around for as long as I can remember."
"And what is that besides familiarity?"
"If I didn't still like you, you wouldn't still be my friend. What's making you ask me all this?" Pacey just shrugged, and noted Dawson's worried expression. "You're my best friend, Pacey," he added. "I'd never get over it if you tumbled into oblivion and never returned."
"That's nice sentiment, Dawson," Pacey said, "but one person does not make a crowd."
"What about Joey?" Dawson said.
Pacey laughed sarcastically. "Don't even go there, Dawson." No one really knew how he truly felt about Joey, but he definitely knew that Joey didn't feel an inkling of the same. "Joey'd dance a jig if I were gone."
"No she wouldn't. You . . . you . . ." he stammered, grasping for something. "You are her verbal punching bag. Without you all that aggression would bubble beneath the surface. She'd be ruined. She needs someone to take that stuff out on."
"She's got Jen," Pacey said.
"Jen!" Dawson said, pointing at Pacey. "She'd miss you!"
"You've got to be kidding me," Pacey said, rolling his eyes. "This just proves that anyone not tied to Pacey Witter by blood lines--as few and far between as they may be--is tied to Pacey Witter by Dawson Leery. I maybe say three words to Jen in passing, and that's because I know her because of you. Nothing more."
"Well, what about those blood lines?" Dawson asked absently, receiving a rather malicious look from Pacey.
Pacey patted Dawson on the shoulder. "Don't go to law school."
"Pacey," Dawson warned, watching Pacey head for the door. "People do care about you."
He turned back to Dawson and smiled. "Well, at least one does. Thanks, D."
Dawson sighed defeatedly, as he watched Pacey walk out of the store.
* * * * *
Pacey watched Tommy Lee Jones hand of the neuralyzer to Will Smith for the third time. He'd watched the movie three times for some odd reason. Looking for hints or answers he supposed.
Finally, he took off on a walk, carelessly following along the outside of the creek. He just hoped to clear his head, make his decision. Although, really, he'd already made the decision.
"You are not an easy person to find, Witter," he heard from behind him.
"What do you want?" he asked the familiar voice. He turned around and saw Joey standing there, silhouetted by the setting sun.
"I've been looking for you forever, Pacey," she said.
"What do you want?" he asked again.
The expression on her face changed. He could tell she was thinking, and figured that meant that Dawson had sent her after him. "You can tell Dawson I'm fine," Pacey said, as he continued walking. She followed him. "He couldn't have possibly thought you'd cheer me up," he added, knowing she wasn't leaving.
"I could cheer you up," she said indignantly. "It's not . . . it's not like I care or anything, but Dawson would drive me crazy until I came and made sure you were okay."
"I'm fine," Pacey said.
"You don't act fine," she said.
Finally he sat down on the grass near the edge of the water. "So what do you want to do about it?" he asked.
She shrugged. "I don't know. I just figured that you might . . . you know, need someone to talk to or something."
"You ever think about what you want to do with your life, Joey?"
"Sure, all the time," she said. "Everyone our age does that."
"So if you thought you could go out and make a difference in the world, no matter what the consequences to yourself, would you do it?"
"I don't know," she said. "Give me an example."
"Let's say, someone told you that you'd be good at doing something, but to do it you had to leave everything that you knew behind."
"I don't know," she said seriously. "Sounds scary to me."
"Not so scary once you realize that there's nothing that you'd really be leaving," he mused, as he looked out over the water.
"What exactly are you talking about, Pace?"
"Nothing," he said. "Just thinking aloud, I guess."
"You've been watching It's a Wonderful Life haven't you?" she said. "It's not even Christmas."
"Huh?" Pacey asked, confused.
"You're going through this whole what-if-I-were-never-born analysis. That's got to be it. Everyone does that after they've seen that movie," Joey said, rather proud of her assessment.
Pacey laughed. "That's not it," he said.
"So what? You don't think there's a reason for you being here?" she asked.
"Here in Capeside or here on earth?"
"Either," she said. "Pacey, everyone is here for some reason."
"I know that," he said. "The thing that I'm grappling with is if anyone would care if I weren't around anymore."
Joey sat silently for a moment, absorbing the words. "You serious?" she choked out. He just nodded in response, not even bothering to look back at her. "You know that's not true."
"Don't waste your time," Pacey responded. "Dawson already played this game. He needs me. You may need me on a purely superficial basis, and that just about covers the gambit."
"Trust me, Dawson does need you. Me? I don't know if I need you, but I would miss you if you weren't around." He looked over at her, a bit surprised. "Don't ask me why," she added. "I don't know the answer to that one."
"Dawson said you need me to take all your aggression out on," he said.
"He did?" Joey asked, laughing. "That's probably true. But you know that I wouldn't do that if I didn't actually . . . like you. I mean, I'd just be indifferent to your existence then."
"So, why do you pretend that you don't care?"
She sucked in her bottom lip, not sure how to answer. "That's just what we do."
"I guess so," he said.
"Gee, Pace, it's no secret that I go around sometimes thinking no one cares about me too," she said.
"Someone always cares about you, Jo," he said.
"And someone always cares about you, Pace," she said, smiling.
"Thanks," he said. "Look, I'm fine. You can report back to Dawson that I'm okay. He's not going to find me in the bottom of the creek in the morning or anything."
"Okay," she said, standing to walk away. "Hey, Pace?"
"Yeah?"
"You know that if you ever need someone to . . . talk to . . ."
"Thanks, Jo," he said. "Take care of yourself, okay?"
She smiled, and nodded before leaving him alone. He sat silently, contemplating the decision that could ultimately change his life.
* * * * *
Pacey paced in front of the bench where he had met Agent Q just twenty four hours ago--what had turned out to be the most rough twenty four hours of his whole life.
The man smiled as he approached the bench, holding coffee in one hand, setting his copy of Weekly World News on the bench. He removed his sunglasses, methodically placed them in his pocket, and turned his attention to Pacey. He handed Pacey a garment bag he had rested over his other arm. "Wanna see if it fits?" Q asked.
"Is this what I think it is?" Pacey asked.
Q nodded. "Standard issue suit. Try it on."
"And where do you propose I change?" Pacey asked.
"Over there," Q said, pointing to a bush. Pacey eyed the man. "No one will see," he added.
Pacey stepped behind the bush. Q began looking at his newspaper, but Pacey tried to make conversation. "So what exactly makes me qualified to do this anyway?" he asked.
"We liked the way you dealt with the aliens," Q said.
"I've dealt with aliens?" Pacey asked. "Like who?"
Q thought seriously about it for a moment. "That, um, Peterson, the English teacher."
"I knew it!" Pacey said. "You didn't have to tell me that, because I assumed it all along!" Q rolled his eyes, turning back to his paper. "Who else?" Pacey asked.
"The McPhee's," Q said reluctantly.
"What?" Pacey said, his head popping above the bush.
"I'm sorry," Q said. The thought left a bad taste in Pacey's mouth. "Mrs. McPhee was a nationalist," Q continued. "She would've told anyone she was from another planet. Her kids had to make her look crazy so they could stay on the planet. Of course, they didn't exactly blend."
"I guess in some strange way that should make me feel better," Pacey said.
"We were very impressed with how you dealt with them."
Pacey remained quiet as he finished changing his clothes. He stepped in front of Q. "The difference between you and me," he said, "is that I make this look good."
"Not funny," Q said. He examined Pacey dressed in the suit, complete with the sunglasses. "What do you think?"
Pacey examined his cuffs. "I like it," he said.
"Have you made a decision?" Q asked.
Pacey nodded. "I want to do it."
"Good, son," Q said. "We're glad to have you on board."
"There's one thing that I need to do first, though," Pacey said. "I need your help."
* * * * *
Pacey reluctantly approached Joey's house as he saw her sitting on the porch. She laughed at the sight of him. "Going to some sort of Men In Black convention?" she asked.
"Something like that," Pacey said. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure," Joey said, pointing to a seat. Pacey sat in a chair across from her. "What's up?" she asked.
"I have some things that I have to tell you," he said.
"Like what?" she asked breezily, not realizing his somber tone.
"I sort of have a little . . . thing for you," he said. "I know it sounds silly, and completely out of the blue. But you are just . . . you are an incredibly wonderful, courageous woman in a too-good-to-be-true sort of way. You're beautiful and intelligent and creative and talented, and I . . . I don't know how any man that comes into contact with you doesn't realize that."
"Pacey, what are you trying to say?" she asked, a bit floored by his comments.
He took a deep breath, trying to summon his courage. "I'm trying to say that I care about you a lot, and I'm really, really lucky to have had the opportunity to know you, even if you never reciprocated any of my feelings."
She smiled at him. "Are you kidding? I feel lucky to know you too. I care about you. How could you not know that?"
"I guess that . . . sometimes we think things that we just don't say," he said, a small smile gracing his lips. "I'm glad that you could say it now, though."
"Why do I get the feeling that you're saying goodbye to me?" she asked.
"Because I am."
"Where are you going?"
"That doesn't matter," he said. "I just wanted you to know that someday I could've loved you."
She looked at him seriously. "Me too," she whispered.
"Thanks, Jo," he said, gently kissing her on the cheek.
Joey looked up to see Q approaching her. "Who's that?" she asked.
He stood next to Pacey, pushed his sunglasses down a bit, and looked at him. "Ready?" he asked.
"Where in the hell are you going, Pacey?" Joey asked.
Pacey pulled his glasses from his jacket pocket. "Jo, remember someone always cares about you," he said as he put on his sunglasses.
"Where?" she demanded.
"Miss, look this way please," Q said. Before anything else happened, Q had used the neuralyzer.
Joey blinked for a moment, trying to adjust. "Who are you?" she asked them.
"You haven't seen the dog?" Q asked.
"What dog?" she asked.
"We're looking for a missing dog," he said. "Tan cocker spaniel. You haven't seen it?"
"No," Joey said, eyeing Pacey suspiciously. "Do I know you?" she asked. "You look so familiar."
"I don't think so," he said softly.
"We're sorry to have bothered you," Q said. "Thank you." He ushered Pacey off, and they walked away. Pacey was restrained enough not to look back.
"I think we're going to call you Agent P," Q told him.
"That sounds like a rapper," Pacey said. "Hey! When do I get my own flashy thing?"
"Not now, rookie," Q said.
"How about a noisy cricket?" Pacey said hopefully. "You know, I had a cap gun that looked just like that when I was little."
Q shook his head. "What have I gotten myself in to?"
"We're going to have lots of fun together," Agent P said, smiling at his new partner. "I guess I'm going to have to watch it when kill roaches now, huh?"
* * * * *
NOT to be continued.
Pacey In Black by Kilby
Notes
Disclaimer: How sad is this? Now not only am I using these characters from Dawson's Creek that aren't mine, but now I've moved up to stealing concepts from Men In Black. I think I'm some sort of intellectual property cleptomanic. Anyway, I don't own or have any rights to anything Dawson's Creek, Men In Black, or with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones (although I love both those guys).
Author's Note: Just for fun. Please let me know what you think.
Props: Mad props to Liz, who was wonderful enough to help me through making Dawson a good guy. Thanks, girl!