December 23, 2000
"Josephine," a gentle voice called, as Joey was gingerly being nudged.
"What?" she whined, still half-asleep.
"You have to get up," the voice said.
"Why?" she moaned.
"Because you have something that you need to learn tonight."
"I think I'm going to learn all that I need to tomorrow," she yawned. "It'll be a good day if I don't kill Alex before Christmas Eve is over."
"Josephine, get up!" the voice commanded.
"Fine," she said, sitting up, and opening her eyes. She let out a shrill scream. "Who the hell are you?!"
"Will you calm down?" the man said gently. He had a cute little muscular body cramped into a small frame; short, tousled blond hair, a strong jaw line, and dark, penetrating eyes. He looked to be around twenty or twenty-one.
"Not until I know why a complete stranger is waking me up in the middle of the night!"
"You promise not to freak out or anything?" he asked.
"That depends," Joey challenged.
"On what?" he asked.
"On what you tell me."
"Okay," he said. "I promise that this is truth. My name is Shane. I'm your . . ." he trailed off, squinting as if he knew that she wouldn't believe him. "I'm your guardian angel."
Instead of the reaction of disbelief as Shane had expected, Joey began to laugh. "You can't expect me to believe that," she said. "If I had really had a guardian angel, I wouldn't have had such a hellish life."
"Joey, just because you have a guardian angel, doesn't mean that nothing bad is ever going to happen to you. I'm just around to make sure that you never get too much to handle. And you're still here. Standing, and stronger than ever."
"Sure I am," she said. "It only took me watching my mom die a horrible death, sending my dad off to jail, being hella poor, and then watching my best friend move away."
"There's more in life for you," he said. "I'm here to show you that."
"Oh, I get it," she said. "This is a dream. I fall asleep watching some take-off of 'A Christmas Carol,' and now I'm paying for it by having some ghost of Christmas present coming to show me how special my life is."
"That's 'It's A Wonderful Life,' not 'A Christmas Carol.'"
"Whatever," Joey said. "The point is, I don't need you here to tell me how valuable my life is."
"That's not why I'm here," he said. "Have you ever heard of Cupid?"
"Sure."
"He was sorta the one who asked me to appear."
"So now Cupid's real, and taking care of my love-life. Isn't he sort of a Valentine's Day kinda guy? Shouldn't Santa be visiting me for Christmas?"
Shane rolled his eyes. "Cupid has a plan for everyone as to who their supposed to love. And you're just screwing yours all up."
"I am, am I?" she said indignantly.
"Yes," Shane said. "You have to understand that we can only do so much, and here you are just acting all crazy, and completely overlooking your soul mate."
"I am," she said. "If he's the man of my dreams, how am I missing him?"
"How am I supposed to know? All I can say is that he's on the track to love, and you're wandering in the desert somewhere far, far away."
"So why can't I just wander without you're little intervention?"
"He's going to need you tomorrow," Shane said.
"Who is this person you're alluding to, anyway?" she asked.
He thought for a second. "I'm horrible with names. P-Presley?"
"Presley? I don't know any--Wait! You don't mean Pacey?"
"Pacey! That's it!" he yelled.
"Pacey Witter?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said, shaking his head, and smiling. He saw the uneasy look on her face. "What's wrong?" he sighed.
"I just think that you've got arch enemy confused with love-of-life."
"That's the point," he said. "You're not treating Pacey right. You're a royal class bitch when it comes to him."
"That's great," she said, shaking her head. "My guardian angel curses!" She paused, still feeling the disbelief. "I'm not a bitch!" she defended herself. "He gives just as good as he gets."
"So maybe he does," Shane said. "But you don't understand his life."
"What's there to understand?" she asked. "Pacey is Pacey. Smart ass, underachiever, screw-up."
"He's that way for a reason," Shane said. "You just see the surface of him, and there's a lot that you don't understand about him."
"That tough exterior with a heart-of-gold on the inside stuff just does not apply to Pacey."
Shane rolled his eyes. "I've got my work cut out for me, don't I?"
"To make me fall for Pacey?" she said. "Oh, you're going to need the cell phone number of the big guy," she said, pointing upwards.
"So all that Pacey is to you is a smart ass screw-up?"
She nodded. "You forgot underachieving."
"Fine," he said. "Prepare yourself for prime example number one."
"What? What are you going to do?"
He snapped his fingers, and they were instantly transported to Dawson's back yard. Mini versions of Dawson, Pacey, and Joey were gathered around an ant hill, examining it intently.
Joey looked at Shane. "What does this have to do with anything?"
"Watch," Shane said.
The kids were saying something Joey couldn't hear, but she watched as they slowly moved away from the anthill. Dawson quickly tugged on one of Joey's pigtails, and she frantically began chasing him. As Dawson ran around the house, Joey tripped and fell. "Ouch!" she said.
The little Pacey walked to her, and squatted at her side. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"I will be when I kill Dawson," the small Joey said.
"Joey," he said, rolling his eyes. He stood, and extended his hand. She reluctantly took his offer, and stood up. Pacey smiled. "You don't want to kill Dawson," Pacey said mischievously. "You're in love with him," he cooed.
"I think I'll kill you instead," she said, chasing after him.
"See," Shane told Joey.
"What?" she asked. "He helped me up off the ground to tease me."
"He cared for you. He helped you up when you were down. The first of many times."
"At seven years old, Pacey cared for me," she said skeptically. "You've got a long way to go, buddy."
"Okay," he said, snapping his fingers again. Joey looked around, trying to place herself.
"The yard at the penitentiary?" she whispered. Shane watched her as she thought. "That night he brought me here."
Shane nodded. "He took care of you that night, didn't he?"
"I guess he did," she said. "Maybe he was just in the right place at the right time."
"Stop looking for reasons why not, and look for reasons why."
Joey looked up at him. "Why?" she asked.
"Why do you belong with him?"
"Yeah."
"That's just the destiny of it. Sometimes two people are predestined to be together."
"If we're supposed to be together, how come you have to make me see that? I mean, if Pacey's 'the one,' how come I don't think so?"
"Free will. It makes my job hell." He looked at her quizzically. "So this means you understand now? We're finished. You're going to give Pacey a chance?"
"No," she said. "I mean, I thought that there was a lesson to be learned. I thought I was supposed to know what his life is like."
"You are, but I thought for a second there that it might be easy."
She shook her head. "Nah." Shane snapped his fingers again, and they were transported to the ruins. Joey saw herself as she was now, crying into her hands. "The night Dawson left," she whispered. She watched as Pacey approached, and she instantly let her head fall onto his shoulder, and he held her as she cried.
"When Dawson moved away with his mom, you needed someone, and Pacey was there for you."
She smiled. "Yeah. He took me on these crazy road trips. We'd go in search of a first edition classic at antique stores or take Alex to the zoo. He did whatever he could to take my mind off of it."
"You see," Shane said. "He cares about you."
"I know," she whispered. "He's my friend."
"He's more than that," Shane said, frustrated.
"I just don't see it," she said. "But, you said that he'll need me, right?"
"Yes," Shane said.
"What for?"
"How about we go to Christmas morning and see?"
"You can do that?" she said.
"No problem." He snapped his fingers, and nothing happened. He smiled nervously. "Getting to the future is a little more difficult than the past." Once again, he snapped his fingers, and this time it worked.
"Pacey's room," Joey said, as she looked around.
"Yeah," Shane said, pointing to the sleeping Pacey.
Joey watched him as he stirred, his sheet tangled haphazardly around his torso. "We're going to watch him sleep?" she asked.
Shane rolled his eyes. "You're starting to get on my nerves. There is structure to this, you know."
Joey stopped and looked around. "You hear that?"
"Yeah," he said. "That's his family."
"They got up on Christmas morning without him?"
Shane nodded. "You knew his family was like that, right?"
"Yeah. I just . . ." she trailed off. She bit her lip, unsure of what she was actually thinking. She watched as Pacey slowly woke up. Pacey put a shirt on, and wiped the sleep from his eyes. He left the room, and began to walk down the stairs.
"Let's go," Shane said, leading her to follow Pacey.
Pacey took a seat in the corner of his living room, as he saw the rest of his large family gathered around the Christmas tree. Joey watched him sadly. "They act like he's not even there," she said.
Pacey noticed the same thing. He headed into the kitchen, and poured himself a cup of coffee. Shivering as he walked onto the porch, he looked around outside. There was a dusting of snow on the ground, but nothing substantial. He looked inside the house across the street to see three small children smiling as their parents watched them open presents. Pacey sighed. "Family," he said softly. He just shook his head, before retreating inside, going back up the stairs, not looking at his family.
Joey looked at Shane. "Can you show me what being in Pacey's family is like?" she asked.
"What do you want to see?"
"You're supposed to let me see what it's like for him to be him, right?" she asked. "So, let me know what it's like, what he faces each day that I don't know about."
"Okay," Shane said. He stopped for a moment before snapping his fingers again.
Joey looked around. She knew that she was in the Witter living room, but it had this strange decor from the early eighties. A small child fumbled into the room, carrying a storybook that was as large as he was.
"Pacey?" Joey asked. Shane nodded. "How old?"
"Three I think," Shane said. "Watch."
Little Pacey sat in a large arm chair, opened the book, and began to read it aloud.
"He's reading?" Joey said. "At three?"
"Pacey's very intelligent," Shane said.
Joey looked at him in disbelief. "So why does he pretend that he's stupid?"
Before Shane could answer, and angry looking man in a police uniform entered. Joey recognized the younger version of Pacey's dad.
"Hi daddy," the little Pacey said.
"Hi Pacey," the man said.
"Listen to what I can do," Pacey said proudly as he began to read the book aloud again. "Left foot, right foot, feet, feet, feet. Oh, how many, many feet you meet."
"What is that jibbersh you're saying?" his father asked.
"It's not," Pacey said. "I'm readin'. Aren't you proud of me?"
"Not really," he said. "You still throw like a girl. Why don't you stop spending all that time with books, and go outside and practice that?"
"Okay," Pacey said. He threw the book down, and began searching for the baseball.
"That man is a menace to humanity," Joey said. "No wonder Pacey doesn't think studying is important."
"Ready for another?" Shane asked. She nodded, watching him snap his fingers again.
"Pacey Witter, you get your no-good ass in here right now!" an older Mr. Witter bellowed.
A ten-year-old Pacey entered the kitchen. "What?" he snapped at his dad.
"Don't use that tone with me, you waste of space," his father said.
"Are you the one who put the empty milk carton in the refrigerator?" he snapped.
"It wasn't empty," Pacey said. "There was a little left."
He grabbed him violently by the collar, and shoved him against the refrigerator. Joey gasped as she watched the scene unfold.
"You aren't even worth my time," Mr. Witter said. "Get out of my sight." Pacey walked out the door, not saying anything else.
"He started hanging around with me and Dawson a lot more at about that age," Joey said.
"Yeah," Shane said. "His home life is really bad, but I can't show you any more."
"How come?" she asked.
"I'm not allowed," Shane said. "Do you understand now?"
"Pacey had a tough life," she said. "I'm supposed to fall in love with him because of it?"
Shane snapped his fingers, and he and Joey were back at her house. "You don't understand?" he asked. "I'm not supposed to make you fall in love with him. I'm just supposed to show you how much he's cared for you, and make you understand that him being a smart-assed underachiever is for a reason."
"And to let me know that he needs someone for Christmas," she said.
"Exactly," Shane said. "The falling in love will take care of itself."
"So what should I do?" she asked.
"I can't tell you what to do," he said. He looked at his feet. "The one thing I can say is that his life could change this Christmas if he keeps going on thinking that no one cares for him."
"Bad?" she asked.
"I don't know," he said.
She looked up at him. "Despite my resistance, I do care about him. I don't know if I'll ever be in love with him, but I care about him."
"He needs you now," Shane said.
She nodded. "Okay. I'll give this a try. You'll be here if I need help?" she asked, for some reason now believing he was her guardian angel.
"I'm always there," Shane said.
"Will you watch over him too?" she asked.
"Sure," he said, smiling. "Go back to sleep. You've got work to do tomorrow."
She let her head fall to her pillow, and her eyes shut immediately.
* * * * *
Joey awoke groggily to the early morning, and felt as if she hadn't slept most of the night. She recalled the strange dream she had. She chuckled through her sleepiness. "Pacey my soul mate."
She got dressed in the quiet, as it seemed Bessie had been able to keep two-year-old Alex occupied so he wouldn't wake Joey today. She could smell bacon frying as she neared the kitchen. "Aunt Joey," Alex yelled, running to Joey.
"Hey, Alex," Joey said.
"Mommy wouldn't let me come wake you up!" he said angrily, as he placed his hands on his hips.
"Remind me to thank mommy," she said.
Bessie looked at Joey and smiled. "It was no big deal," Bessie said to her sister.
"Mommy's taking me to get your Christmas present today," he said excitedly. "We're going to get you a nice necklace."
"Alex!" Bessie yelled. "It's supposed to be a surprise!"
Joey laughed, and gave Alex a high five. "Nice job," she whispered. He giggled at his aunt. "Alex," Joey said, looking up at Bessie, "I was wondering if you would like it if I asked Uncle Pacey to come and stay with us for Christmas."
"I would love it!" Alex said. "I have so much fun with Uncle Pacey!"
She looked back to Alex. "I think we might have to ask mommy," she said. "How do we ask mommy for something?"
Alex turned and looked at his mother. "Please," he whined, as he stuck his lower lip out as far as it could go.
"It's okay with me," Bessie said.
"Yea!" Alex cheered, as he ripped through the house.
"Why do you want Pacey to come here for Christmas?" Bessie asked Joey.
"I thought it would be nice," Joey said.
"I like Pacey," Bessie said, "and you didn't have to manipulate my child and me in order for him to have an invitation."
Joey smiled. "Thanks, Bess."
"Don't mention it," she said. "Don't let that hard work go to waste. You'd better see if he even wants to come."
"I think he will. Thanks," Joey said, as she grabbed a piece of bacon, put her coat on, and walked out the door.
* * * * *
Where Angels Fear To Tread by Kilby
Notes
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine, but you knew that. I was inspired for this by watchings "It's A Wonderful Life" but I don't think I've ripped it off.
Author's Note: Remember that Andie and Jack don't exist in my world just yet (and Dawson does a little as possible).