December 23, 2000

"Josephine," a gentle voice called, as Joey was gingerly being nudged.

"What?" she whined, still half-asleep.

"You have to get up," the voice said.

"Why?" she moaned.

"Because you have something that you need to learn tonight."

"I think I'm going to learn all that I need to tomorrow," she yawned. "It'll be a good day if I don't kill Alex before Christmas Eve is over."

"Josephine, get up!" the voice commanded.

"Fine," she said, sitting up, and opening her eyes. She let out a shrill scream. "Who the hell are you?!"

"Will you calm down?" the man said gently. He had a cute little muscular body cramped into a small frame; short, tousled blond hair, a strong jaw line, and dark, penetrating eyes. He looked to be around twenty or twenty-one.

"Not until I know why a complete stranger is waking me up in the middle of the night!"

"You promise not to freak out or anything?" he asked.

"That depends," Joey challenged.

"On what?" he asked.

"On what you tell me."

"Okay," he said. "I promise that this is truth. My name is Shane. I'm your . . ." he trailed off, squinting as if he knew that she wouldn't believe him. "I'm your guardian angel."

Instead of the reaction of disbelief as Shane had expected, Joey began to laugh. "You can't expect me to believe that," she said. "If I had really had a guardian angel, I wouldn't have had such a hellish life."

"Joey, just because you have a guardian angel, doesn't mean that nothing bad is ever going to happen to you. I'm just around to make sure that you never get too much to handle. And you're still here. Standing, and stronger than ever."

"Sure I am," she said. "It only took me watching my mom die a horrible death, sending my dad off to jail, being hella poor, and then watching my best friend move away."

"There's more in life for you," he said. "I'm here to show you that."

"Oh, I get it," she said. "This is a dream. I fall asleep watching some take-off of 'A Christmas Carol,' and now I'm paying for it by having some ghost of Christmas present coming to show me how special my life is."

"That's 'It's A Wonderful Life,' not 'A Christmas Carol.'"

"Whatever," Joey said. "The point is, I don't need you here to tell me how valuable my life is."

"That's not why I'm here," he said. "Have you ever heard of Cupid?"

"Sure."

"He was sorta the one who asked me to appear."

"So now Cupid's real, and taking care of my love-life. Isn't he sort of a Valentine's Day kinda guy? Shouldn't Santa be visiting me for Christmas?"

Shane rolled his eyes. "Cupid has a plan for everyone as to who their supposed to love. And you're just screwing yours all up."

"I am, am I?" she said indignantly.

"Yes," Shane said. "You have to understand that we can only do so much, and here you are just acting all crazy, and completely overlooking your soul mate."

"I am," she said. "If he's the man of my dreams, how am I missing him?"

"How am I supposed to know? All I can say is that he's on the track to love, and you're wandering in the desert somewhere far, far away."

"So why can't I just wander without you're little intervention?"

"He's going to need you tomorrow," Shane said.

"Who is this person you're alluding to, anyway?" she asked.

He thought for a second. "I'm horrible with names. P-Presley?"

"Presley? I don't know any--Wait! You don't mean Pacey?"

"Pacey! That's it!" he yelled.

"Pacey Witter?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, shaking his head, and smiling. He saw the uneasy look on her face. "What's wrong?" he sighed.

"I just think that you've got arch enemy confused with love-of-life."

"That's the point," he said. "You're not treating Pacey right. You're a royal class bitch when it comes to him."

"That's great," she said, shaking her head. "My guardian angel curses!" She paused, still feeling the disbelief. "I'm not a bitch!" she defended herself. "He gives just as good as he gets."

"So maybe he does," Shane said. "But you don't understand his life."

"What's there to understand?" she asked. "Pacey is Pacey. Smart ass, underachiever, screw-up."

"He's that way for a reason," Shane said. "You just see the surface of him, and there's a lot that you don't understand about him."

"That tough exterior with a heart-of-gold on the inside stuff just does not apply to Pacey."

Shane rolled his eyes. "I've got my work cut out for me, don't I?"

"To make me fall for Pacey?" she said. "Oh, you're going to need the cell phone number of the big guy," she said, pointing upwards.

"So all that Pacey is to you is a smart ass screw-up?"

She nodded. "You forgot underachieving."

"Fine," he said. "Prepare yourself for prime example number one."

"What? What are you going to do?"

He snapped his fingers, and they were instantly transported to Dawson's back yard. Mini versions of Dawson, Pacey, and Joey were gathered around an ant hill, examining it intently.

Joey looked at Shane. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"Watch," Shane said.

The kids were saying something Joey couldn't hear, but she watched as they slowly moved away from the anthill. Dawson quickly tugged on one of Joey's pigtails, and she frantically began chasing him. As Dawson ran around the house, Joey tripped and fell. "Ouch!" she said.

The little Pacey walked to her, and squatted at her side. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I will be when I kill Dawson," the small Joey said.

"Joey," he said, rolling his eyes. He stood, and extended his hand. She reluctantly took his offer, and stood up. Pacey smiled. "You don't want to kill Dawson," Pacey said mischievously. "You're in love with him," he cooed.

"I think I'll kill you instead," she said, chasing after him.

"See," Shane told Joey.

"What?" she asked. "He helped me up off the ground to tease me."

"He cared for you. He helped you up when you were down. The first of many times."

"At seven years old, Pacey cared for me," she said skeptically. "You've got a long way to go, buddy."

"Okay," he said, snapping his fingers again. Joey looked around, trying to place herself.

"The yard at the penitentiary?" she whispered. Shane watched her as she thought. "That night he brought me here."

Shane nodded. "He took care of you that night, didn't he?"

"I guess he did," she said. "Maybe he was just in the right place at the right time."

"Stop looking for reasons why not, and look for reasons why."

Joey looked up at him. "Why?" she asked.

"Why do you belong with him?"

"Yeah."

"That's just the destiny of it. Sometimes two people are predestined to be together."

"If we're supposed to be together, how come you have to make me see that? I mean, if Pacey's 'the one,' how come I don't think so?"

"Free will. It makes my job hell." He looked at her quizzically. "So this means you understand now? We're finished. You're going to give Pacey a chance?"

"No," she said. "I mean, I thought that there was a lesson to be learned. I thought I was supposed to know what his life is like."

"You are, but I thought for a second there that it might be easy."

She shook her head. "Nah." Shane snapped his fingers again, and they were transported to the ruins. Joey saw herself as she was now, crying into her hands. "The night Dawson left," she whispered. She watched as Pacey approached, and she instantly let her head fall onto his shoulder, and he held her as she cried.

"When Dawson moved away with his mom, you needed someone, and Pacey was there for you."

She smiled. "Yeah. He took me on these crazy road trips. We'd go in search of a first edition classic at antique stores or take Alex to the zoo. He did whatever he could to take my mind off of it."

"You see," Shane said. "He cares about you."

"I know," she whispered. "He's my friend."

"He's more than that," Shane said, frustrated.

"I just don't see it," she said. "But, you said that he'll need me, right?"

"Yes," Shane said.

"What for?"

"How about we go to Christmas morning and see?"

"You can do that?" she said.

"No problem." He snapped his fingers, and nothing happened. He smiled nervously. "Getting to the future is a little more difficult than the past." Once again, he snapped his fingers, and this time it worked.

"Pacey's room," Joey said, as she looked around.

"Yeah," Shane said, pointing to the sleeping Pacey.

Joey watched him as he stirred, his sheet tangled haphazardly around his torso. "We're going to watch him sleep?" she asked.

Shane rolled his eyes. "You're starting to get on my nerves. There is structure to this, you know."

Joey stopped and looked around. "You hear that?"

"Yeah," he said. "That's his family."

"They got up on Christmas morning without him?"

Shane nodded. "You knew his family was like that, right?"

"Yeah. I just . . ." she trailed off. She bit her lip, unsure of what she was actually thinking. She watched as Pacey slowly woke up. Pacey put a shirt on, and wiped the sleep from his eyes. He left the room, and began to walk down the stairs.

"Let's go," Shane said, leading her to follow Pacey.

Pacey took a seat in the corner of his living room, as he saw the rest of his large family gathered around the Christmas tree. Joey watched him sadly. "They act like he's not even there," she said.

Pacey noticed the same thing. He headed into the kitchen, and poured himself a cup of coffee. Shivering as he walked onto the porch, he looked around outside. There was a dusting of snow on the ground, but nothing substantial. He looked inside the house across the street to see three small children smiling as their parents watched them open presents. Pacey sighed. "Family," he said softly. He just shook his head, before retreating inside, going back up the stairs, not looking at his family.

Joey looked at Shane. "Can you show me what being in Pacey's family is like?" she asked.

"What do you want to see?"

"You're supposed to let me see what it's like for him to be him, right?" she asked. "So, let me know what it's like, what he faces each day that I don't know about."

"Okay," Shane said. He stopped for a moment before snapping his fingers again.

Joey looked around. She knew that she was in the Witter living room, but it had this strange decor from the early eighties. A small child fumbled into the room, carrying a storybook that was as large as he was.

"Pacey?" Joey asked. Shane nodded. "How old?"

"Three I think," Shane said. "Watch."

Little Pacey sat in a large arm chair, opened the book, and began to read it aloud.

"He's reading?" Joey said. "At three?"

"Pacey's very intelligent," Shane said.

Joey looked at him in disbelief. "So why does he pretend that he's stupid?"

Before Shane could answer, and angry looking man in a police uniform entered. Joey recognized the younger version of Pacey's dad.

"Hi daddy," the little Pacey said.

"Hi Pacey," the man said.

"Listen to what I can do," Pacey said proudly as he began to read the book aloud again. "Left foot, right foot, feet, feet, feet. Oh, how many, many feet you meet."

"What is that jibbersh you're saying?" his father asked.

"It's not," Pacey said. "I'm readin'. Aren't you proud of me?"

"Not really," he said. "You still throw like a girl. Why don't you stop spending all that time with books, and go outside and practice that?"

"Okay," Pacey said. He threw the book down, and began searching for the baseball.

"That man is a menace to humanity," Joey said. "No wonder Pacey doesn't think studying is important."

"Ready for another?" Shane asked. She nodded, watching him snap his fingers again.

"Pacey Witter, you get your no-good ass in here right now!" an older Mr. Witter bellowed.

A ten-year-old Pacey entered the kitchen. "What?" he snapped at his dad.

"Don't use that tone with me, you waste of space," his father said.

"Are you the one who put the empty milk carton in the refrigerator?" he snapped.

"It wasn't empty," Pacey said. "There was a little left."

He grabbed him violently by the collar, and shoved him against the refrigerator. Joey gasped as she watched the scene unfold.

"You aren't even worth my time," Mr. Witter said. "Get out of my sight." Pacey walked out the door, not saying anything else.

"He started hanging around with me and Dawson a lot more at about that age," Joey said.

"Yeah," Shane said. "His home life is really bad, but I can't show you any more."

"How come?" she asked.

"I'm not allowed," Shane said. "Do you understand now?"

"Pacey had a tough life," she said. "I'm supposed to fall in love with him because of it?"

Shane snapped his fingers, and he and Joey were back at her house. "You don't understand?" he asked. "I'm not supposed to make you fall in love with him. I'm just supposed to show you how much he's cared for you, and make you understand that him being a smart-assed underachiever is for a reason."

"And to let me know that he needs someone for Christmas," she said.

"Exactly," Shane said. "The falling in love will take care of itself."

"So what should I do?" she asked.

"I can't tell you what to do," he said. He looked at his feet. "The one thing I can say is that his life could change this Christmas if he keeps going on thinking that no one cares for him."

"Bad?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said.

She looked up at him. "Despite my resistance, I do care about him. I don't know if I'll ever be in love with him, but I care about him."

"He needs you now," Shane said.

She nodded. "Okay. I'll give this a try. You'll be here if I need help?" she asked, for some reason now believing he was her guardian angel.

"I'm always there," Shane said.

"Will you watch over him too?" she asked.

"Sure," he said, smiling. "Go back to sleep. You've got work to do tomorrow."

She let her head fall to her pillow, and her eyes shut immediately.

* * * * *

Joey awoke groggily to the early morning, and felt as if she hadn't slept most of the night. She recalled the strange dream she had. She chuckled through her sleepiness. "Pacey my soul mate."

She got dressed in the quiet, as it seemed Bessie had been able to keep two-year-old Alex occupied so he wouldn't wake Joey today. She could smell bacon frying as she neared the kitchen. "Aunt Joey," Alex yelled, running to Joey.

"Hey, Alex," Joey said.

"Mommy wouldn't let me come wake you up!" he said angrily, as he placed his hands on his hips.

"Remind me to thank mommy," she said.

Bessie looked at Joey and smiled. "It was no big deal," Bessie said to her sister.

"Mommy's taking me to get your Christmas present today," he said excitedly. "We're going to get you a nice necklace."

"Alex!" Bessie yelled. "It's supposed to be a surprise!"

Joey laughed, and gave Alex a high five. "Nice job," she whispered. He giggled at his aunt. "Alex," Joey said, looking up at Bessie, "I was wondering if you would like it if I asked Uncle Pacey to come and stay with us for Christmas."

"I would love it!" Alex said. "I have so much fun with Uncle Pacey!"

She looked back to Alex. "I think we might have to ask mommy," she said. "How do we ask mommy for something?"

Alex turned and looked at his mother. "Please," he whined, as he stuck his lower lip out as far as it could go.

"It's okay with me," Bessie said.

"Yea!" Alex cheered, as he ripped through the house.

"Why do you want Pacey to come here for Christmas?" Bessie asked Joey.

"I thought it would be nice," Joey said.

"I like Pacey," Bessie said, "and you didn't have to manipulate my child and me in order for him to have an invitation."

Joey smiled. "Thanks, Bess."

"Don't mention it," she said. "Don't let that hard work go to waste. You'd better see if he even wants to come."

"I think he will. Thanks," Joey said, as she grabbed a piece of bacon, put her coat on, and walked out the door.

* * * * *

December 24, 2000

Joey stood outside Pacey's house nervously. It wasn't true with many people, but she was a little scared of his dad. Even more so, she knew he didn't like her. She knew what she had to do though, and knocked on the door.

"Whadda ya know, Jo?" Pacey said, as he opened the door.

"More than you," she smiled.

"I see you're in top form even in the morning," he said.

"Someone with manners would invite me in, instead of keeping me standing in the cold."

"You always tell me that I don't have any manners."

She pushed her way through the door. Pacey began to walk to his kitchen. "You want something for breakfast?"

"What are you making?"

"Eggs."

"Okay," she said. She took a seat at the table as she watched Pacey. He put a glass and some orange juice on the table. "Home alone this morning?"

"Yeah," he said. "I barely comprehend the peace and quiet."

She watched him, in awe, never realizing that he knew how to cook anything. He looked like he knew what he was doing. There seemed to be a lot that she didn't know about him. "I never knew you cooked, Witter."

"It's either learn how to cook or starve in this house," he said. He concentrated as he pushed the eggs around the pan. "So what's going on?"

"Nothing!" she said quickly. "I mean, why would something be going on?"

"It was just a question," he said. "Just wondered how you were feeling, what you were going to do today, that sort of thing."

"Oh!" she said. "The usual, I guess."

"What's up with you?" he asked, placing a plate in front of her.

"Nothing," she said, as she watched him sit across from her. "So what are you going to do for Christmas?"

"Ah, I don't know. I was thinking about maybe taking a road trip to Atlantic City, playing some blackjack, picking up a lonely showgirl or two."

"I think two is aiming a little high, Pace," she said, sucking in a breath for effect. "One might be a little too high. I mean, you'd have to find a pretty lonely woman."

"Funny, Josephine," he said, dryly. "What are you gonna do today?"

"I need to go shopping," she said. "You know, one day I'm going to get smart and learn to shop before Christmas Eve." She examined him intently as she watched him lift his fork to his mouth.

"What?" he asked defensively. "Did I spill something on myself?"

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "You wanna come with me?"

"Shopping?"

"Yeah."

"I don't have any to do. I'm finished."

She shot him a look that could kill. "You make me sick!"

"I didn't have many people to buy for," he said. "Just skipped the dear old family this year."

She nodded sympathetically. "Why don't you come anyway? I still have to get something for Alex, and you're about on his intellectual plane."

"Sure," he said, smiling. Somehow he knew that was less of an attack on his intelligence, and more of a way for Joey to let him know that she wanted him to come. "You'd better eat that before it gets cold."

She took a bite of the eggs, and her face turned to shock. "God, Pacey, these are delicious!" He smiled, proud of himself. "I didn't know that there was more than one way to make eggs."

"My own little secret," he grinned. She nodded, not wanting to think about anything else until her plate was empty. He watched her intently, almost proud that he could provoke that kind of reaction in her. It seemed like something had changed in her; like she had some new-found appreciation for him . . . and that was what he had been waiting for.

Finally, she dropped her fork onto the empty plate. "Seriously, Pace," she said. "What are you doing for Christmas?"

"Nothing really."

"Well, I was talking to Alex and Bessie this morning, and we all decided that we'd love to have you come stay with us for Christmas."

"What?"

"You know, come stay with us tonight. Celebrate the holiday," she said. "Let the little rugrat wake you up at five tomorrow morning."

"You want me to?"

"Yeah," she said. "Bodie's out of town, and we could use some masculine influence around. Besides, I wouldn't even want my worst enemy to have to stay here with these people, much less my friend."

He smiled. She had never outright called him her friend before. "I'd rather not stay here with these people either."

"So what are you waiting for?" she asked. "Get some stuff so that we can go shopping!"

"Okay," he said. "Be right back."

She watched him run up the stairs, seemingly giddy with excitement, and smiled. This was one good deed she was more than happy to do. She didn't know why, but she was seeing Pacey in a new light, and was actually happily anticipating spending the time with him.

He was down the stairs within minutes, carrying a large duffel bag. "You're not moving in, I hope."

"I could leave the presents," he said, raising his eyebrow.

"Okay. The big bag is acceptable," she conceded. "Let's go."

Outside the door, he looked at Joey sincerely. "Thanks," he said.

"Don't mention it."

"You know that I like to get up at 4:30 on Christmas day, right?"

"You get me up at 4:30, and I'll kill you!" she said. He grinned at Joey, as they happily took off towards her house.

* * * * *

Joey sighed as she sat next to Pacey on her couch. "I don't want to go shopping," she whined.

Pacey laughed. "Let's make a list," he said.

"Fly-by-night Pacey Witter a list-maker. Who would have thought it?"

"Okay," he said, "pick on me. But do you know how bad it's going to be shopping today?"

"It's not like we're going to Macy's or something, Pace. The small shops in Capeside will not be that bad."

"Sure. Tell me that after the riot over who gets the last Barbie doll."

"A riot you will, no doubt, be involved in."

"Did anyone ever tell you that Ken's not anatomically correct?"

"No," she said, "and I was really shocked the first time that I--"

"What?" he broke in.

She began to laugh hysterically. "I'm just kidding, Pace. Chill." He looked at her, clearly not amused. "I really don't think I like the idea of a list," she continued. "I kinda just go on feeling."

"On feeling?"

"Sure. You walk in a store, see something, and realize that it would be perfect for that person."

"Oh," he said. "So we're going to face the masses going on nothing but a feeling."

"Basically," she said. "We'd better get going."

"Okay," he said. "You're going to have to keep your hands to yourself today. No grabbing my ass."

She grinned mischievously, placing a hand on his butt. He jumped in surprise. "Sometimes I just can't help myself."

* * * * *

Five Hours Later

Pacey entered the Potter house carrying several bags and boxes. "Thank God," he said, setting everything on the table.

"It's not that much, Pace," she said.

"I know," he said, sitting at the table.

"Help me wrap?" she asked, sitting across from him with tape and scissors.

He nodded, as he pulled a box over, and grabbed a roll of wrapping paper. "Where's mine?" he asked her after a few seconds of silence.

"Your what?"

"Present."

"Oh, I'm not that stupid," she said. "It's safely tucked away."

"Okay," he said, turning his attention back to the present.

Joey looked at him and sighed. He had wrapped just one in the time it took her to do three. "What are you trying to do, put that on display at the Smithsonian?"

"Just trying to make it look nice," he said.

"That one's for Alex," she pointed out. "He'll unwrap it in seconds."

He smiled, "I know."

"I'll do this one," she said, grabbing the last box. It was a wooden toy train. Pacey had fought his way through an ocean of people to get it, and one woman had actually bitten him on the arm trying to take it away. Joey laughed as she reached for the tape.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"I was just thinking of when that woman bit you."

"Don't remind me," he sighed. "I might need some rabies shots."

"Who said chivalry was dead?" she joked.

He laughed, "Not me."

"Alex is going to love it," she said genuinely.

They gathered the presents, and placed them under the tree. "I think some holiday cheer is in order," Joey said.

"You do, do you?" Pacey asked skeptically. "You don't seem the type for holiday cheer."

"Hey, this is the most glorious time of the year," she said. "When else would it be socially acceptable for a woman to bite you in the store."

He grinned. "So what are you going to do?"

She stood next to the radio. "Christmas music?"

"Just as long as it's not those barking jingle dogs," he said.

She turned on the radio to hear "Jingle Bell Rock," and Joey began to uncharacteristically dance around the living room. Pacey laughed as she pulled him toward her, forcing him to join her. In her frenzy she tripped, and fell into his arms. The sweet sounds of Nat King Cole began to come from the radio.

"You ever hear of destiny? Fate?" he asked her quietly. She still hadn't moved from his embrace.

"I have," she said. "Big theme today. Why?"

He grinned. "You fell in my arms, a slow song came on. Miss Potter, it's time to put your dancing shoes on."

"Mr. Witter, I feel so honored that you sort of asked," she joked. They began dancing, as Pacey led a simple box step. "Why I had no idea that you knew all this fancy stuff."

"I'm a renaissance man," he said. "I'm good at a lot of things."

She raised an eyebrow. "How are you at baking cookies?"

He smiled, as he spun her around. "Better than I am at making eggs."

"We'd better get started then," she said. "Santa might be hungry tonight."

"Sounds like a plan," he said, watching her walk into the kitchen. I think I already got my present.

* * * * *

Pacey sat next to Alex, who was snug in Bessie's bed, as he finished off a sugar cookie. "Okay," Pacey said. "Enough stalling, little man. If you don't go to sleep, Santa might just skip your house."

"Don't tell him that," Joey said, as she entered the room. "Uncle Pacey's just jealous because he was always on Santa's naughty list."

"Were you?" Alex asked wide-eyed.

"Maybe once or twice," Pacey said, more serious than Joey would've wanted. "But you've been good, so there's nothing to worry about as long as you go to sleep."

"Okay," Alex said, taking the last bite of the cookie. "You know, you guys make good cookies. You commantizated."

"We what?" Pacey said.

"We cooperated," Joey said.

Alex rolled his eyes at Pacey. "That's what I said. You two should do that all the time."

"What? Cooperate?" Pacey asked.

"Yeah," Alex said. He looked at them both seriously. "Uncle Pacey, you'd make a good daddy. Aunt Joey, you'd make a good mommy." His eyes lit up like he'd had a revelation. "You guys should have a baby."

Joey nearly choked. Pacey just smiled. "Don't you think we're a little too young to have a baby?" he asked Alex.

"No!" Alex said. "You guys are old."

"We are, huh?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Alex said. "Know what, though?"

"What?" Joey asked with a smile.

He used his finger, motioning for her to come closer. He whispered in her ear. It was the whisper of a child, which meant the whole room could hear it anyway. "You would have to be his girlfriend first."

"Oh," Joey said, nodding her head.

"Yeah," Alex said. "Would you like that?"

"You'd better go brush your teeth. We don't want Santa to think you're not sleeping tonight," Joey said, trying to change his train of thought.

"Okay," he said, hopping up, and heading to the bathroom.

Joey looked at Pacey nervously. "Kids . . ."

"Say the darndest things," he said, smiling. "You don't have to explain."

"I know that," she said. "I just didn't want you getting all weird on me. Someone telling you that you'd be a good father, that might go to your head or something."

He smiled genuinely. "It did."

The thought made her heart . . . flutter. Joey Potter's heart fluttered at the thought of Pacey being a dad. It was ironic. She would have never imagined that Pacey could have this kind of effect on her, and for a brief second, she could almost imagine the two of them tucking their child in on Christmas eve. 'Get a grip, Joey,' she told herself. 'This is Pacey we're talking about here.'

"Okay, all brushed," Alex said, running the room, and knocking Joey out of her thought.

"Let's see," she said. He smiled his biggest smile, showing his newly cleaned teeth. She gave him a nod of approval, as he snuggled next to his pillow.

"'Night, stinker," she said, rubbing his hair. "Don't get me up early tomorrow."

"I will!" he said laughing. "'Night, aunt Joey. 'Night, uncle Pacey."

"'Night, kiddo," Pacey said. He walked out of the room, and Joey shut the light out and closed the door behind her.

* * * * *

After playing Santa and putting all the presents for Alex under the tree, Pacey and Joey headed for bed.

Pacey laid in the floor next to Joey's bed. "Hey, Jo?" he said, breaking the silence of the dark room.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," he said. "I had fun today."

"I'm glad," she said. "I had a lot of fun with you too."

"I couldn't have found another person I would've wanted to spend Christmas with," he said.

She smiled inside. "You know what? I don't think that I could've either."

"Thanks, Jo," he said.

She looked at the clock. "Hey, Pace."

"Yeah?"

"Merry Christmas," she said. "After twelve."

He sat up, and looked at the clock. "So it is," he said. "Merry Christmas. I think this is going to be a good one."

"Me too," she said. She flipped on the light, and grabbed something from underneath the bed. "Here," she said, handing him a perfectly wrapped box.

"I guess it is officially Christmas," he said, pulling a box from his bag. "You first."

She gently opened the small box. Inside was a delicate looking ring.

"I wasn't sure what to get," he said. "I know that you don't wear any jewelry, but I figured that now might be a good time for you to start. I mean, something about it made me think it was for you."

"I love it," she said, slipping it on her finger. "Where'd you get it?"

"One of those antique stores we went to. You were digging through this box of books in the back, and this lady came in with this ring. Her friend had given it to her before he went away to fight in World War II. He had been her confidante, and he knew that she would miss him badly once he left, so he told her that as long as she wore the ring they would always and forever be connected."

Joey was almost crying as she listened. "Don't tell me he died there."

Pacey smiled. "No. He wrote her letters every week from Germany, and she wrote back. They fell in love. When he came back, they got married."

"That's so sweet," Joey said. "Why'd she want to sell it?"

"She told me that it had done her well for years, and that she didn't need the ring to connect her to him, because she always held him in her heart. She said that she wanted a young person to feel the same way she did. So I asked her to sell it to me."

"So you could give it to me?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said. "I know that we're graduating soon, and you're probably going to be going off to some big Ivy League college. It doesn't mean that you have to lose your confidante, because I'll always be with you."

She smiled, as she was ready to cry. "Thank you," she said, handing him her present. "Your turn."

He opened the present cautiously, and removed a worn book. "Catcher in the Rye," he read off the cover.

"Yeah," she said. "The tale of a tragic hero," she said. "Common story of a misunderstood boy trying to find himself; trying to figure out how to be a man. The lead character -- he could be you."

"What's this?" he asked, fumbling with a bright yellow post-it note that was sticking out of the book. He opened the book to the page it was marking.

"Read it," she said.

He read the marked passage aloud. "'And yet I still act sometimes like I was only about twelve. Everbody says that, especially my father. It's partly true, too, but it isn't all true. I don't give a damn, except I get bored sometimes when people tell me to act my age. Sometimes I act a lot older than I am -- I really do -- but people never notice it. People never notice anything.'" He looked up at her.

"Maybe I'm starting to notice," she said, giving him a gentle smile.

He didn't know what to say. Joey had never been like this before. The best thing, he thought, would be to joke. This moment was way too serious for him. Pacey smiled. "And you couldn't get a new copy?"

"That's an early edition from the antique store," she said. "Besides, it reminds me of you too."

"How so?"

"It's worn and torn on the outside, when really it's hiding something truly great on the inside."

"You think I'm hiding something great on the inside?" he asked.

"I did," she said, "but I don't think that you're hiding it from me any more."

"You're the one person who understands that," he said simply.

"Good," she said. "I'm glad it's me."

"We'd better get to sleep," Pacey said. "Alex will be up at the crack of dawn."

"Okay," she said, shutting the light out, and nestling back in her bed.

"Jo?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," Pacey said. "For everything."

"Thank you," she replied. "For everything."

"'Night, Jo."

"'Night, Pace."

* * * * *

Joey slowly began to awake, realizing that someone was shaking her. "It's too early, Alex," she snapped.

"Josephine, wake up. It's me, Shane."

Joey groggily sat up. "What do you want now?" she asked.

"I've got a problem," he said.

"Will you be quiet? You'll wake Pacey."

"Pacey can't hear me," he said.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I sorta kinda did something that I shouldn't have."

"What's that?"

"Just about everything that I did last night."

"What do you mean?"

"You see," Shane said. "I'm not supposed to mess with matters of the heart."

"I am not following you."

Shane sighed. "It's simple. Since you and Pacey hang out all the time, his angel Courtney and I are together a lot."

"Angels hang out together? Pacey has a girl angel?"

"Don't go there on me right now. We were just sitting around without much to do, and Cupid came meandering in. He asked us how things between you are going, and we told him there was no change. Cupid's a patient man, but you two were getting to be too much for him. He basically told us that the case would be hopeless without some divine intervention."

"Let me guess," Joey said. "You decided to be the divine intervention."

"Yeah," Shane said. "Courtney knew Pacey was about to hit a rocky patch, so we cooked up this plan. Now we could get into big trouble."

"Why?"

"Because angels shouldn't get involved with matters of the heart."

"But you helped me to see Pacey in a new light, and I like it," she said. "That's good, right? I mean, it could work eventually." Shane had a sad look on his face. "What? What is it?" she asked.

"Because Courtney and I got involved, your meant-to-be status with Pacey may have a changed." She looked at him blankly, not wanting to hear the words. "Joey?" he asked.

"So even if we do fall in love now, we might not be able to be together?" Joey asked.

"Yes," Shane said. "The last thing I wanted to do was mess this up, because you two are meant to be together."

"So what's going to happen?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said. "It's out of my hands now."

"Fix it," she said.

"What?" he asked. "You hated Pacey yesterday."

"Maybe I did," she said. "But things are different now. Besides, it's not fair for you to be able to mess up my future. Fix it!"

"I'll do what I can," he said.

"You'd better," she said seriously. "Don't let him slip away from me."

"I'll do what I can," he repeated.

"Wait!" she said. "The bad thing that was going to happen to him tomorrow still isn't going to happen is it?"

"I don't know," he said. "Courtney and I are going to take care of things."

She nodded, as she fell back onto her pillow.

* * * * *

December 25, 2000

Pacey stared up at the clock, and sighed. It read 4:30. He had been awake for an hour, and just couldn't go back to sleep. Although he had been lulled into relaxation by listening to Joey breathe, he was still very anxious. He didn't want to waste time sleeping when he could spend time with her.

'Hold it there, Pace. What are you talking about? This is Joey here. No romantic notions should be present.' As much as he was trying to convince himself otherwise, he was developing some pretty intense feelings for Joey. Sure, he had heard of love at first sight. This was different. There was something strange about this.

He gently sat up from his place on the floor, and looked at Joey. Her face was being illuminated by some light from outside that was flowing through window. She was beautiful: He couldn't deny that. 'What's going on?' he thought. Yesterday, he had seen a side of Joey that he really liked; a side he could even love. It was like she had rescued him from the depths of hell. He supported his head with his hand as he continued to examine her. "What are you doing Josephine Potter?" he quietly whispered.

He had always wanted to know what was going on in her head, but this time he just felt he had to know. He couldn't exactly pinpoint what had changed, but he did know that he liked it. He had always kept up a jovial appearance for everyone, but yesterday had been the first time in months that he felt truly alive. Joey too. She seemed to have lost all of her inhibitions, and didn't appear to have her normal lethargy.

He gently pushed a strand of hair from her face, and she stirred slightly. She looked worried. He didn't know how he knew that. He just did. 'I wish she talked in her sleep,' he thought.

His thoughts were interrupted when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned and smiled when he saw the head of brown curls poking around the corner. Next a pair of dark brown eyes poked from behind the wall. Alex's eyes widen when he saw that Pacey was awake. He took off, sprinting toward Pacey. In seconds he had thrown his arms around Pacey's neck. Pacey smiled. 'I could get used to this,' he thought.

"Merry Christmas Uncle Pacey!" Alex exclaimed.

Pacey quickly clamped a hand over Alex's mouth. "Aunt Joey's asleep still. You have to be quiet."

Alex nodded, and Pacey removed his hand. "We can wake her up," he said mischievously.

"I think that she needs a little more time to sleep."

"Aw," Alex said. "Have you been up long?"

"A little while," Pacey said.

"Did you see Santa?"

"Naw," Pacey said. "You know that Santa makes sure that no one sees him."

"You're right," Alex said, nodding. He looked up at Pacey from his seat in his lap genuinely. "I'm glad that you're staying here with us for Christmas."

Joey gently stirred at the voices, slowly awakening. Curious, she pretend to stay asleep, hoping to hear what was going on.

"I'm glad that I'm staying here too," Pacey said.

"How come your mommy and daddy didn't want you to stay with them at Christmas?"

"I don't know," Pacey said. "It doesn't matter, though. Because I'd rather be here with you and your Aunt Joey than anywhere else in the whole entire world."

"I know," he said, smiling. Pacey laughed, and tickled Alex's stomach. After he was finished laughing, he looked seriously at Pacey once again. "I wish that you would spend more time here."

"Why?"

"I just do," he said simply. "I like playing with you, and Aunt Joey isn't so grouchy when you're around. She's almost . . . happy."

"She is?" Pacey asked. Alex nodded. "You know something, Al?"

"What?"

"I'm happier when Aunt Joey is around too."

"I know," Alex said again. He was, no doubt, entering his know-it-all stage.

Joey was beaming inside. That one statement had made her day. She couldn't pretend to sleep any more. As soon as she opened her eyes, Alex noticed. He used his small arm to shake her. "Aunt Joey! Aunt Joey! Get up! It's Christmas!"

Joey laughed. As much as she complained, she adored her nephew, and didn't mind waking up so early. Especially considering her second sight of the day. She was happy to wake up to Pacey's gentle smile. She smiled back at him. "Can I wake mommy?" Alex asked his aunt.

"Go ahead," Joey said. Alex rushed off. Joey focused her gaze on Pacey. She watched him as he stood, and then looked back at her. "Merry Christmas, Pace," she said, as she stood.

"Merry Christmas, Jo," he whispered, standing just over her head.

Instinctively, she gave him a gentle hug. "I'm really glad you're here," she whispered. "Today will be a good day." She was determined to will today a good day. She didn't want to let whatever bad thing that was supposed to happen to Pacey happen.

"Come on!" Alex yelled, as he pulled them both from their embrace. They stood in the doorway, and watched as he surveyed the tree, systematically deciding which presents to open.

Alex's joy was inspiring. Joey turned to look at Pacey watching Alex and laughing. Pacey looked back at her, and smiled.

He leaned closer to her, and gently kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you," he said softly.

For some reason, she blushed. She was really starting to believe in all this true love and fate stuff. "What was that for?" she asked.

He raised his eyes to look at the ceiling, and she followed suit. He smiled. "Mistletoe."

She grinned. "That, Mr. Witter, was a trap."

* * * * *

Joey and Bessie were sitting on their porch steps, watching as Pacey and Alex played with one of the toys Alex had gotten for Christmas. They were laughing, because it looked like Pacey was playing with it more than Alex.

"Where'd you get that?" Bessie asked her sister, pointing to the ring on her finger.

"It's my present from Pacey," Joey said.

"Pacey gave you that?"

"Yeah," Joey said.

"It's beautiful," Bessie said. "It looks like it was expensive."

Joey looked down at the ring. She hadn't realized it, but Bessie was right. "It does," she whispered.

Bessie lowered her tone considerably. "What's going on, Joey?"

"Huh?" Joey asked confusedly.

"You and Pacey. What's happening?"

"I don't know," Joey said thoughtfully.

"It's like things are changing between you two," Bessie said.

"They are," Joey said. "As far as I'm concerned I've been seeing the best side of Pacey lately."

"Are you going to . . . date him?"

Joey shrugged. "I think that's up to fate."

"Fate?" Bessie asked, raising an eyebrow. "Since when do you believe in fate?"

"Since fate gave me Pacey for Christmas."

"That's a little trite," Bessie said. "What's gotten into you, Joey?"

She shrugged again, not answering.

"You love him?"

She sighed, and rolled her eyes. "That's just a little premature."

Joey felt almost alarmed when she saw Pacey stop quickly, and stand completely still. It looked like he couldn't catch his breath. She ran up beside him. "Pacey, are you okay?"

He stood with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. "Yeah," he said. "Just a little wore out." He stood, once again. "I can't compete with a two-year-old."

"Why don't we go inside where it's warm," she said. She grabbed his hand, and led him in the house, leaving Bessie to play with Alex.

Joey handed Pacey a glass of water as he sat on the couch. "Are you sure that you're okay?"

Pacey nodded. "I'm fine. The cold . . . it's not easy on you when you're chasing after a kid."

"All right," Joey said.

"Pacey, you have company!" Bessie yelled inside.

Pacey walked to the door to find his father. "Could I speak to you?" he asked.

"Yeah," Pacey said. "Could we have a few minutes please?" he asked Joey.

"Are you . . . are you sure?" she asked. Pacey nodded. Without another word, Joey put on her coat and went to rejoin Bessie outside.

* * * * *

Joey sat, nervously tapping her foot on the ground. Mr. Witter had been inside with Pacey way too long. 'This is the bad thing that's going to happen. This is the bad thing that's going to happen.' That's what she kept saying to herself. No matter what she had done, his fate had been sealed from the get go. She worried about Pacey, and damned Shane. That stupid angel had been more trouble than he was worth. Angel. She still couldn't figure out if he was real or not.

Finally, Pacey's dad emerged from the house. He flashed an incredibly fake smile at Joey and Bessie. "Thank you both," he said, as he walked away.

Joey sat for a moment, deep in thought. She looked at her sister. "I have to check on him," she said.

Bessie nodded as Joey slowly crept inside. She surveyed the room, searching for Pacey. She saw him sitting in a chair, facing the window. He wasn't looking out of it, but had his face was buried in his hands. She slowly walked over, and knelt beside him, placing a hand on his knee. "Pace?" she whispered.

He didn't move. "Go away," he said.

"What's wrong?" she asked gently.

"Not now."

"I can help," she said.

He lifted his head, and looked down at her. She was shocked to see him crying. "Just give me a few minutes," he said softly.

She reached up, and wiped the tears from his face. He pulled his head away from her hand. "What did that bastard do?" she asked.

He closed his eyes, and exhaled. "Please," he pleaded. "I need to be alone."

She was so confused. "No," she said. He looked at her questioningly. "You need me."

Pacey began to enter defensive mode. "Look, just because I'm crying--"

"You never cry," she said calmly. "I know that something bad has happened."

He contorted to his face. "Joey, just leave me alone. I don't need your pity."

She grabbed his hand. "I just want to help," she said. "What's wrong?"

He closed his eyes, and shook his head. "Let it go," he said.

"No," she said, raising her voice slightly. "Tell me."

He stood up, and turned his back to her. He didn't want to have to look at her. It was obvious she would break him, and he would have to tell her. He knew that the what he had to say would hurt her, and he didn't want to see her when it did. "It's Christmas . . . and you . . . you don't want to hear this. Not today."

She stood, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Pacey, I want to know what's wrong. Please tell me."

"I'm moving," he said softly. It felt like her heart was dropping to her stomach, and she instinctively snatched her hand away. She was feeling deja vu. It was just like Dawson. The same thing, and it left her uneasy. If Pacey left, there'd be no one to help her through it like he had helped her through Dawson leaving.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Her mind stopped briefly at his words. "Where?" she asked.

"North Carolina."

She turned to look out the window, hoping to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes. "After school's finished, right?"

Pain was all he could feel at that comment. "No," he answered. "January second."

"A week? You're leaving in a week?"

"Yeah," he said.

She turned back to him. "Pacey, you have to finish school. I mean, if your dad kicked you out or something we can--"

"He didn't kick me out," Pacey said. "I have to go."

She looked at him seriously. "Pacey, you're too smart to be a high school drop-out."

He looked at her uncertainly. She had never thought he was smart. Her new outlooks were beginning to make him feel a little strange. She looked into his eyes, waiting for him to say something. "I . . . um . . . I took the test for my GED three days ago."

"A GED?" she asked. "Pacey, you can't think that . . . a GED is just . . ."

"Come on, Jo," he said. "It's not like my grades are outstanding or anything, and since I had to go, I wanted to finish it all now."

"Five months," she said. "Something is so important that you can't wait five months?" He nodded. "What?" she asked. "Some hot chick? A get rich quick scheme?"

"Don't do this, Jo," he said. "This is why I didn't want to tell you today. We've been having such a nice time."

She looked at him scornfully. "And when were you going to tell me? You're all I've got left, Pacey. You're moving hundreds of miles away in a week, and you still hadn't told me."

"I just found out for sure. Just now."

"So it does have something to do with your father?"

"No," he said.

"Dammit, Pacey! Tell me!!" she screamed.

He looked at her angered face sadly, and his bottom lip began to quiver. "I . . . I have cancer."

She staggered backward, barely able to remain standing. 'This is not happening. This is not happening,' she kept telling herself. "What?" she said quietly, hoping somehow it wouldn't be true.

"Cancer," he said. "I have cancer. I'm going down there for better medical treatment. It can't . . . it can't wait."

She began pounding her fists in his chest frantically. "How could you do this to me? How could you make me love you and do this?!" she screamed. He grabbed her wrists to keep her from hitting him again. She looked up into his sad eyes, as tears began to pour from her eyes. She threw her arms around him, and hugged him with all the strength that she had left. He hugged her back as he began to cry again.

* * * * *

Pacey watched Joey as she washed dishes emotionlessly. He felt so guilty about what had happened; like he had crashed her whole world down around her. On Christmas no less.

"Uncle Pacey," Alex said, shaking his knee, "will you come play with me?"

"Sure," Pacey said with a gentle smile, as he followed Alex to the Christmas tree.

Bessie noticed that her sister's mood had made a drastic change as well. It seemed like she was just going through motions. "Jo," she said softly, "are you okay?"

Joey looked at her sister to reveal her tear-stained eyes. "Joey, what's the matter?" Bessie asked.

Joey threw her arms around her sister, and still didn't say a word. She just needed someone to take care of her right now. Bessie swayed gently, and stroked her sister's hair. "Joey, what is it?" she asked gently. "Did . . . did Pacey do something?"

Joey pulled away, and looked at her sister. "He has . . . cancer," she whispered.

Bessie's hand flew to her mouth. "He what?"

"He has cancer," Joey said. "And he's moving in a week. To North Carolina."

Bessie hugged her sister once again. "Is he . . . okay?"

"Now," Joey said. "I don't know the specifics really. When he told me, I couldn't . . . I couldn't really think clearly."

"Are you okay?"

"No," Joey said. "He's my best friend, and, as crazy as I know this sounds, he's my soulmate. Don't ask me how I know, because I just do." Bessie looked at her sister strangely. She was growing worried. "Bes, I . . .I," she stammered, as tears began sliding down her cheeks again. "I can't watch him die."

"Joey, it doesn't mean that he's going to die," Bessie tried to reassure.

"We don't know what's going to happen," Joey said. "I could lose him. I could lose someone else I care about. And it's . . . it's just not fair."

"As much as it sucks," Bessie said, "life isn't fair. And I agree. You've had too much on you, but you're going to get through this just like you got through all the rest."

"It's going to be just like mom," Joey said softly.

Bessie was dying inside. She hated to see her sister in such pain. "It's not," she said. "It's different now. Pacey is a different person. All the technology is different. You're different. Jo, you can help him through this. You'll be able to understand. And as insane as this sounds, you're going to have to be strong for him, because he's going to need you more than anyone else ever has."

"How much more can I take before I break?" Joey asked. "How long am I going to be able to take this?"

"Joey," Bessie began seriously, "I don't know what's happened to you over the past couple days, but you and Pacey . . . it's almost like you're all that each other has. I don't know if that's what brought you together in the first place. I have no idea why you all the sudden feel he's your soulmate. What I do know is that you've always cared about him, no matter what you've said. I saw how he took care of you after Dawson left. Maybe now it's your turn."

Joey nodded, but didn't know exactly what to say.

"Besides," Bessie continued, "if you love him, romantic or otherwise, it should be easy."

"Nothing is ever easy," Joey said.

* * * * *

Joey and Pacey were sitting on the couch watching "It's a Wonderful Life." The house was quiet, as Alex and Bessie were already in bed. Joey watched Pacey intently. She knew that Bessie was right, but she had no idea how she was going to help Pacey. She didn't know what she could do for him.

He looked at her. In that second they were having a conversation without words. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't want this to happen . . . not today."

"It's not your fault," Joey said. "How long . . . have you known?"

He looked down. "A couple weeks," he mumbled.

"You weren't going to tell me, were you?"

He nodded. "Once I found out that my dad wanted me to move I just . . . I figured that you wouldn't have to know."

She was hurt very deeply. She shook her head. "Pacey, you can't, you can't . . . Why?"

"I just didn't want to hurt you," he said. "You have so much to deal with."

"But, Pace, you can't do this alone."

"I know," he choked out. "It's just that . . . my life is falling apart in front of my very own eyes, and I . . . I didn't want to drag you into it."

"You're the only friend I have left," she said softly. "I want to help."

He exhaled, hoping, in vain, to gain some composure. "I'm scared, Jo."

She took him into her arms, and began gently stroking his hair. He buried his head in her shoulder, and she knew that he was crying. "Pace, it's going to be okay. We can beat this. I know we can." She heard him whimper a bit. "I'm going to stick this out with you," she continued. "It would be a pretty cruel joke for me to figure how good a guy you are, and to figure out . . . how much I really care for you just to have you taken away from me. I'm . . . I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

He knew that he should say that she didn't have to, but he didn't want to. He knew how badly he was going to need her. She would probably be the one who could comprehend what he was going to go through, and he knew that it was going to get worse. He didn't say anything, because he didn't know what to say.

She felt him trembling. It was breaking her heart to watch him like this. Pacey had always been the strong one, and now she knew that he was facing the ultimate test of his strength. All she knew that it was her turn to be strong, because he needed her. She was determined that it was not going to win. It wasn't going to take another person that she loved.

* * * * *

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."
-James Baldwin



Joey stared at Pacey sleeping in her lap. She didn't know what she was going to do. In a week he wasn't going to be there anymore, and as much as she didn't want to think about it, in a matter of months he could be gone for good. She wanted to do something: go with him, have him stay and take care of him, take the cancer for him. Realistically, none of that was going to happen.

Pacey was coughing as he slept. She thought for a moment, wondering if he had been coughing a lot. He probably had been, and she just hadn't noticed. It was still hard for her to understand that Pacey was now struggling with a deadly disease. It hit her hard. Pacey had cancer. It was the same thing that had taken her mother from her, and now the man she loved was going hundreds of miles away to fight his own battle with it.

She loved him. Maybe it just took spending time with him to realize it: Maybe it took the prospect of losing him. It had come so quick, her head was still spinning. Everything that was taking place in front of her eyes was so shocking. She realized that she loved Pacey, only to hear that he was moving, only to hear that he had cancer. He had said that his life was falling apart in front of his eyes, and that was what she was beginning to think about her own. He was sick one, though. She knew that she had to take the optimistic role. It had been easy for Joey to realize that she was going to do whatever she could to make Pacey survive. This mattered too much for her to just sit by and watch it unfold like some movie. She would have to be an active participant.

She was beginning to worry about herself too. This whole angel thing had been crazy. She thought it would only be a matter of time before they carted her off to place with padded walls and tapioca pudding. The idea of a guardian angel was preposterous. After all, where had this angel been? Now, he suddenly appeared, and was anxious to make her fall in love with someone with cancer. She shook her head at her thoughts, because, if anything, she felt like a pawn in some divine game of chess, not someone that any angel was taking care of.

It wasn't long before Joey's thoughts began to drive her crazy. She wasn't going to be able to sleep, so she stood up as gently as she could, and walked into the kitchen. She poured a glass of milk and sat at the table. It was in vain, because she wasn't even in the mood to drink. Not milk anyway.

She snatched her head up, surprised to see her heavenly advisor standing before her. Convinced that this was all a figment of her imagination, she ignored his presence.

He sat across from her at the table, not taking offense. "I saw what happened," he said softly. "I'm so sorry."

Joey just looked up and shook her head.

"Things aren't as bad as they seem," Shane said.

She shot him an evil look. "Let me get this straight. You come to me, and tell me I'm screwing up my life because I belong with Pacey. For some strange reason, I believe you, and then crazily, I realize that I do love him. Then I find out that he -- the love of my life and only friend -- is moving hundreds of miles away, and has cancer. And things aren't as bad as they seem? If they get any worse, I'm going to be joining you after I throw myself off a bridge!"

He exhaled in frustration. "Joey, please calm down."

"He could be dying!" she screamed. She paused for a moment, as she thought. "That stuff about screwing up destiny, was it true?"

"Yes," Shane said.

"So this is because of you?" she asked furiously.

"No," Shane said. "He's known for weeks that he had cancer. The retribution for messing up destiny is him moving away."

"As far as I'm concerned, this is all your fault. I wouldn't have so much invested now if it weren't for you. This wouldn't hurt me as bad if you hadn't made me love him."

"I didn't make you love him," he said. "Can't you see that you loved him all along? You don't fall in love in two days."

"You didn't have to do it," she said.

"I did this because he needed you. Today was the breaking point for him. He wouldn't be able to pretend to be strong anymore. If I hadn't, you would have never been with Pacey, and you're going to be all he has while he tries to get better."

"Why wouldn't I have ever been with him?" she asked. "I would've stuck with him through it. He's always been my friend."

"You don't understand. Pacey is the type who would prefer it if no one knew he was sick. When his parents found out that he was sick, they did a 180. Suddenly Pacey the screw-up was showered with love. To him, nothing had changed. He's never been one who wanted pity. He had to know that you cared about him before you found out about the cancer."

"I don't understand," she said wearily.

"If he thought you were only being nice because he was sick, he would have pushed you away."

Joey nodded. Somehow she knew he was right. "So what's going to happen now?"

"You've got a week."

"For what?"

"To be with him. To make him happy."

"Is he going to die?" she asked.

"I don't know," Shane said. "You have to understand that things can change in an instant."

"So we're going to be apart?"

"He has to go, Joey. It's going to be long distance for a while."

"Does he love me like I love him?"

"The only way to know is to ask. Besides, you should tell him . . . before he leaves."

She nodded. "Things will work out, right? I mean, there's justification for optimism. Pacey and I are meant-to-be, and miles or diseases won't change that, right?"

"Have some faith," Shane said. "Put everything you have into this, and be strong. Once you fall in love, the rest should be easy. Rewards can only be reaped out of effort." Joey nodded once more. "You're not going to see me anymore," he continued. "I'm on restriction. Besides, it's not fun to appear when it isn't Christmas."

Joey gave a weak smile. "I guess I should thank you. After all, you did help me find him."

"I've got a good idea that you both are going to make it through this," Shane said. "Take care of each other."

"I will," she said.

With that, he disappeared. Joey looked around the room, with nothing else to do. She would have more thinking to do.

* * * * *

December 30, 2000

Pacey took a seat on the swing next to Joey. He was slightly out of breath. "Pacey, you've got to--"

"I know," he said. "I might as well get all I can out of it. In a couple of days, I'm not going to be around to play with him anymore," Pacey said, as he watched Alex rocket down the slide. They had decided on a trip to the park given the unusually warm weather in Capeside.

"Are we going to tell him tonight?" Joey asked.

"I think so," Pacey said. "I don't want to tell him that I'm sick, though."

"Pacey, you have to. Kids, kids are people too. It's important for him to know that you might . . ."

"I might not come back," he said, completing her unfinished sentence.

She looked at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to . . . I didn't want to . . . to say it."

"If you don't say it, maybe it's not true, right?" he asked. Joey nodded. He looked at her seriously. "I know that I could die."

"I know that you can live," she said. Her thoughts shifted gears a bit in the midst of a quiet pause. "I could . . . I could come with you."

He looked up at the sky, examining the clouds. "Yeah, and I'm sure that Bessie wouldn't leave too many scars after you asked her to do that," he joked. "You know that you can't come, Jo. You've got to finish school, graduate with honors, take care of Alex. You can't just leave everything behind."

"I don't want to leave you," she said. "I mean, maybe I'm misguided in the notion, but I think that you . . . you need me."

He looked at her, and smiled. "I do need you, Jo. But you can't shuffle your whole life around just because of me."

"You are the biggest part of my life," she said. "You've always been there when I needed you, and I don't want you to be alone now."

He grabbed her hand, and touched her ring. "Remember the story?" he asked. She nodded. "You're always going to be with me. I hold you in here," he said, placing a hand over his heart.

She began to cry. "I know it, Pace. But that doesn't change the fact that we're . . . we're going to be apart at the most important time of your life."

He shrugged. "I guess you'll have to come to college in Carolina, then."

She smiled. "I like the sound of that," she said. In the back of her mind, she noted that as a good sign. Planning for the future meant that he was ready to fight this thing.

"So what are we doing for New Years?" she asked him.

He sat for a moment deep in thought. "I've always wanted to spend New Years in Times Square," Pacey said.

She looked at him in shock. "Are you crazy? Do you know how cold it will be? Do you know how crowded it will be?" He looked at her sadly. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel guilty. "What are you thinking about?" she questioned, even though she knew the answer.

"It could be my . . . my last chance," he said. "I don't want to play the 'Pacey's sick' card, but I would really like to go, and there is no one I'd rather go with than you."

She smiled. "Are you sure that you're up for it?"

"If I don't live, I might as well be dead."

"Okay," she said. "It'll be fun."

"Yeah," he grinned.

* * * * *

Joey sat in the bathroom, watching Bessie give Alex his bath. "Pacey coming back tonight?" Bessie asked.

"Yeah," Joey said. "We're going to have the t-a-l-k with A-l-e-x."

"Don't spell!" Alex yelled at his aunt.

"Sorry," she answered.

"Does he know what he's going to say?" Bessie asked.

"Yeah," Joey said. "We're going to tell him the truth, so he can understand."

Bessie nodded thoughtfully, watching Alex play with his boats in the bathtub.

"Bes?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a huge favor to ask you," Joey said.

Bessie eyed Joey suspiciously. "What is it?"

"Pacey and I were talking about New Year's," she said cautiously. "Pacey wants to got to . . . Times Square." Bessie got a uniquely maternal look on her face. "I know what you're thinking," Joey continued, "because I thought the same thing. But this could be his last chance to go. Besides, it's important for me to do something special with him before he leaves."

"You promise to be careful?" Bessie asked. "No drinking, no crazy driving, no partying?"

Joey smiled, "you're taking all the fun stuff out."

"I haven't said yes, yet, you know!" Bessie said.

"I just want to have quality time with him before he leaves," Joey said, seriously. "It's important."

Bessie rolled her eyes. She knew that this was important to her sister. "Look, you can go," she said, "if you promise to be careful, and to be responsible."

"Of course I will," Joey said. Alex splashed them both with water, and they couldn't help but to laugh. "I'd better get out of here before I have my own bath!" Joey said, maneuvering around the small bathroom. At the doorway, she turned back to Bessie. "Thank you," she said.

Bessie smiled, knowing she had done one thing that would make her sister happy. "Just say hi to Dick Clark for me."

"Yeah, right," Joey said, leaving the bathroom.

* * * * *

She was happy to see Pacey sprawled out on the couch. "Hey," she said, as she pushed his feet in the floor to sit.

"Hey," he said, as he moved his feet to her lap. "Alex getting his bath?"

"Yeah," Joey said. "Are you ready?"

"We're going to do it together, right?"

"Yeah," she said, as she reached out to grab his hand. He smiled at her. "Guess what?" she said brightening.

"What?" he asked.

"Bessie's going to let me go to New York."

"That's great, Jo," he said smiling. "I know that you're a little worried, but--"

"No," she said. "I trust you."

"We're gonna have fun," he said. "My dad's giving me the car, and he even got a hotel room for us. Don't know how he managed that one. Must be some crooked cop secret."

"Since when did he become so agreeable?" she asked, instantly regretting her words. "Never mind."

"It's okay," he said. "I think the same thing sometimes."

"Uncle Pacey!" Alex yelled, as he ran into Pacey's arms.

"Hey, Al," Pacey said. "What's up?"

"Nothin'" Alex said. "Why are you back?"

Pacey looked at Bessie, who had sat on the arm of a chair, and then at Joey who gave a reassuring look. "I have something very important to talk with you about."

"Okay," Alex said.

"In two days I'm moving. That means that I'm not going to be living close anymore."

"How far away will you be?" he asked.

"Pretty far," Pacey said. "You'd have to ride almost a whole day in the car to get there."

"Why do you have to go?" Alex asked.

Pacey sat silently for a moment. "Uncle Pacey is sick, Alex," Joey said.

Alex looked at Pacey. "You don't look sick," Alex said.

"Well," Pacey said, "it's not the kind of sick that you can see. If I don't go away, I could start to feel really bad, though. They're going to take good care of me where I'm going."

"But we can take care of you," Alex said. "Mommy always knows how to make me better when I feel bad."

"I know that," Pacey said, "but even mommies can't fix what's wrong. Only special doctors can."

"When are you coming back?" Alex asked.

Pacey looked at Joey. There was a tear running down her face. Bessie got up, and sat across from them on the coffee table. She took her son's hand. "Baby, Uncle Pacey is sick with something called Cancer," she said. "Sometimes, people with cancer die. You remember when we talked about dying?"

Alex nodded his head. "That's when you go to heaven, right?"

"That's right," Bessie said.

"Are you going to heaven now?" Alex asked Pacey.

"No, Al. I'm moving to a place called North Carolina. The doctors are going to take good care of me so that I can be all better, so that I won't die. Even though I'm not going to be around to play with you all the time, I'm still going to talk to you on the telephone, and we're going to write letters to each other, so it'll be like I won't even be gone."

"Uncle Pacey, I can't write letters," Alex whispered.

Pacey looked back at Alex. He was one smart little kid. "We'll send tapes, then, so we can talk to each other."

Alex put his arms around Pacey's neck, and hugged him. "Uncle Pacey, I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to go either, Alex," Pacey said. "I have to go, though." He pulled him back, and looked at him. "You're going to talk to me so much that you're not even going to miss me. I'll be back to visit lots and lots."

"I'm going to miss you," he said.

"Hey," Pacey said, trying to smile, "you're going to love getting mail and telephone calls from me. Besides, I need you to keep an eye on your Aunt Joey. Somebody's got to keep her from getting so grouchy."

Alex smiled. "Okay," he said.

"I think that mommy's ready to put you to bed," Pacey said to Alex.

"Are you leaving now?"

"No," Pacey said. "I'll see you before I leave."

"Okay," Alex said, hugging Pacey again. Bessie picked up Alex, and Alex placed his head on her shoulder, as Pacey watched them walk to the bedroom.

Pacey stared at the floor. "That was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do."

Joey looked at him sympathetically. "I know," she said. "I think he understands, though. It's good to try to tell him everything."

"I know," Pacey said. "It's just . . . I shouldn't have to tell a two-year-old that I might die."

"You're not going to die!" she said.

He looked at her sadly. There was nothing for him to say. He just took her into his arms, as they tried to offer each other some comfort.

* * * * *

December 31, 2000

Joey sighed at the honking horn. She picked up her bag and walked out the door, giving Pacey a disapproving look. "Five a.m. is way too early to leave, Pacey," Joey said as she settled into the passenger's seat of the car, throwing her bag in the back.

"We want to spend a nice day in the city, right?" he asked, backing out of the driveway.

"I guess so," she said reluctantly. She settled back in her seat, and examined Pacey as he drove. It was still dark outside, but she could see his face. He looked exhausted. "You sleep any?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. You?"

"Drifted off about three thirty," she said.

"You'd better rest, then," he said. "We've got a busy day."

"What about you?"

"I'll be okay. You just rest."

"Fine," she said. "Remember, the speed limits are there for a reason. The cops are not going to buy you're little 'speed suggestion' story. And while we're at it, let's try to stay on the road James Bond."

"Just go to sleep," he said, smirking.

She smiled as she rested her head, and closed her eyes.

* * * * *

When Joey awoke, the sun was finally shining. She was surprised to see Pacey missing. They were parked outside McDonald's. She yawned, and wiped the sleep out of her eyes, as she got out of the car to stretch. A smile crossed her lips as she saw him return.

"Hey sleepyhead," he said. "We're halfway there."

"And you just couldn't wait to get your Egg McMuffin?"

"Nah," he said. "I'm nothing without my shot of cholesterol and caffeine."

She followed his lead and sat back in the car. He handed her a breakfast biscuit and a cup of orange juice. "Thanks," she said. He started the car again. "You're not going to eat first."

"I'll eat while I'm driving," he said. "I just want to get there."

After a few minutes of silence, both had finished their breakfast, and Joey was aching to say something, but she didn't know what to say.

"What are we doing?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked, chuckling.

"What's going on, Pacey?"

"Jo, I don't understand what you're talking about."

"We're pretending like this is just another one of our road trips."

"It is," he said simply.

"You're okay with that?" she asked. "You're okay with pretending that nothing has changed?"

"Everything has changed," he whispered. "Right now, I just want to pretend that everything is okay, and spend this day with you. I don't want to think about tomorrow right now."

She wanted to ask him if all the changes were bad. He had to know that things between them had changed, and she desperately wanted to know what he thought about it. Somehow, she didn't feel right about asking. For nearly a week she had been planning how she would tell him that she loved him, but she still didn't know how. Time was running out.

* * * * *

Joey looked at her watch again. She was freezing. The worst part was that it read 11:50. 'Where are you, Pacey?' Several people had nearly knocked her over, and she'd lost Pacey for the sixth time. This was definitely not all it was cracked up to be.

"JO!" she heard from behind her.

"Pace!" she replied, maneuvering through the people, hoping to reach him. When he finally got to her, he grabbed her hand. "I didn't know I'd need handcuffs to stay with you!" she yelled.

"Don't go getting kinky on me, Jo!" he screamed back. She playfully nudged him in the side. "Let's get closer," he said, pulling her from behind him through the crowd.

Finally, they stopped near the center of all the action. Pacey noticed that Joey was shivering. "You cold?" he asked. She nodded, as her teeth chattered. Silently, she wished that she had a heavier coat, because she was more than cold: She was freezing. It was like he could read her mind, because he placed an arm around her shoulder, and drew her closer.

She looked up at him, and smiled. "Thanks," she mouthed. He smiled back at her. He was happy. It was exciting for him to be in the center of all this action with her. She was everything now, and somehow, he didn't care about anything else.

Despite how good it felt to be in his grasp, Joey was still cold. She snaked her other arm around his waist. He held her tightly in his arms. "Warm yet?" he asked.

'It doesn't matter anymore,' she thought as she smiled at him. She rested her head against his chest, and listened to his heart beat. There was something symbolic, and special about doing that. It made her so happy just to be there with him, in his arms.

Her head snatched up when she heard everyone around her begin to count down. She watched the bright ball in the sky with anticipation. Suddenly it was falling to the ground. She looked back at Pacey with a smile. "Looks like we made it through another year," she said.

He smiled. "We have," he said. "Thanks for making this one memorable."

She placed her gloved hand behind his neck, and pulled him closer. She placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He reciprocated with another soft kiss, and placed his forehead against hers. "Happy New Year, Jo" he whispered.

"Happy New Year, Pace," she returned. He twined his fingers through hers, as they began to fight the crowd once again.

* * * * *

Finally, after a short cab ride, they had reached the hotel room. Joey collapsed on the bed. "My head feels like it's going to explode," she said, rhythmically.

"I knew it would be crazy," he said, "but I never imagined this utter chaos." He plopped down beside her one the bed, and flipped on the television, getting a glimpse of what they'd just left.

Joey stood from the bed, and walked to the window. She could see the people still spreading across the streets. She was glad Pacey brought her back to the hotel, because she was ready to warm up. She just wanted to spend this time alone with him. She watched for a moment, just trying to reflect on her life, on the past year. Things were changing. Things were changing fast.

"How are you feeling?" Joey asked, as she sat next to Pacey's feet, and grabbed his hand.

"I'm fine," he said, looking at her hand. She was still wearing the ring. He doubted she had taken it off at all since he'd given it to her at Christmas. They sat in silence for a moment, both contemplating what to say. "Jo?" Pacey finally asked.

"Yeah?"

"When you were talking about things that were changing earlier, were you talking about us?"

"I don't know, Pace," she said. "You think we're changing?"

"Yeah," he said. "I think you feel sorry for me; sad for me."

"Pacey, the only person I have time to feel sorry for is myself," she said honestly.

"Joey, this isn't a joke," he sighed.

"I'm not trying to make it a joke," she said. "It's true. I mean, my first reaction when I found out you were sick was to hate you for it. If that's not selfish, I don't know what is. You've always been the strong, selfless one. Things like this aren't supposed to happen to you."

"Why do you care so much?" he asked.

She didn't answer. Instead, she elected to change the subject. "You know, when I was little, my mom would always make greens and black-eyed peas for new years." She knew he had gotten up, and was now standing behind her. Suddenly, the closeness wasn't what she craved anymore. He was making her nervous. "I mean, I'm no fan of black-eyed peas, but they're supposed to be good luck, and all," she continued. "Is it really so bad to suck 'em down if it means that you're going to have good luck?" she asked, turning to find him close to her. "I wonder why they call them that," she continued to babble.

"Joey," he said softly.

"What?" she asked, flustered.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything," he whispered. "Things shouldn't be happening this way."

"What way?"

"I shouldn't have . . . I shouldn't have kissed you. I know that I crossed the line, and I--"

"I kissed you," she said softly.

He closed his eyes and exhaled. "Why did you do it?"

She took a deep breath. 'It's now or never.' She gingerly placed a hand on his chest, prompting him to look in her eyes. "I love you, Pacey," she whispered.

His reaction seemed to be one of shock. He looked in her eyes questioningly, trying to figure out if it was real. She was worried because he didn't say anything. He just stood there. Finally, he broke her gaze, his eyes darting to the side, followed by him walking to the bed. He rested his elbows on his knees, and put his head in his hands.

She sat next to him on the bed. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't know that you would . . . react like this."

He put his hands down, to look back at her. "You can't love me," he said hoarsely.

"Too late," she said. He looked back at her, stunned. "Pace, it's not like I'm expecting you to . . . this doesn't have to change anything."

He looked at the floor, and began to speak in slow, even tones. "I've never deserved you. Especially the past few days. And now . . . for you to tell me that you love me, it . . . I can't explain the problem it presents."

"Problem," she said sternly. "It's a problem."

He nodded sadly. "You deserve someone who'll be there for you."

"I want you."

"I could die," he said. "I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's true. Even if I don't, I'm going to get sick somehow. I'm going to be far away, and I'm not going to be what you need."

"I need you," she said simply.

"There's so much you deserve, Jo," he said. "A man who can devote everything he has to you. A man who would walk through fire to be with you. A man who would pull the stars from the sky for you. You should be able to enjoy the newness of love; how it feels like the sun shining on a warm day after a long winter. You don't want me with all the bagage I've got."

"I want you how you are," she said. "You've devoted all you've had to me, and I'm enjoying the newness of love right now. Pacey, sometimes in life we have to take things how it gives them to us, and if that means sticking by you now, I can take it. It's what I want to do. I can wait for you to want to walk through fire for me, and it wouldn't matter if you never wanted to."

"I already would," he said softly.

She looked in his eyes, trying to process his words. "What?" she whispered.

"I love you too, Jo," he said.

"So what's the point of this whole conversation?"

He walked over to look out of the window again. "My head," he whispered.

"Huh?"

"Blame it on my head," he said, "not my heart."

She stood behind him, and placed her hand on his arm. "Pacey Witter, of all the times for you to start listening to your head . . ."

He turned to face her. "I just want what's best for you," he said.

"You are what's best for me."

He laughed, and rolled his eyes. "I'm what's best for you," he said sarcastically. "Sure, a little girls dream of growing up to find a man who's a complete screw-up, suffering from a diblitating disease, and moving a few hundred miles away. Spare me, Joey."

She took his hand in hers. "No," she said softly. "Little girls dream about finding a handsome, intelligent, funny man. Who's been under her nose all her life, but it takes forever for her to figure out what he probably knew all along. Little girls dream about finding a man that they love so much they will see him through anything, including cancer. Little girls dream of a love that is so strong miles won't change it."

"It's easy to see in the abstract, Joey, but soon it's all going to be reality."

"Pacey, we belong together, and there's nothing that's going to change that."

"I don't want to do this to you," he said softly. "I don't want you feel this. I don't want you to have to go through this again."

"Pacey, if I had told you that I loved you a month ago, would you have turned your back on me then?"

"You didn't tell me a month ago."

"I didn't know a month ago," she said. "But, Pace, if I'm going to love you, I'm going to love you no matter what the circumstances. I don't care how sick you get, or how far away you go."

He closed his eyes, and swallowed hard. "Joey, you need--"

"I need you," she said. "Stop looking for reasons to push me away."

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"Let me be the judge of what will hurt."

He nodded slightly. "You don't have to wait for me."

She placed a crooked grin on her face. "I'm not waiting. I'll just be counting the days 'til I can see you again," she said, shrugging.

"Are you sure that this is what you want?" he asked cautiously. "We can pretend like this whole conversation never happened."

"Not on your life. I've been trying to figure out how to tell you all week," she said, poking her index finger in his chest.

"Ow," he said.

She threw her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. She gently lifted his shirt, and saw some brusies on his chest. "Pace . . ."

"Just when you think you can forget about it, it has a strange way of reminding you."

She gently ran her hand over the bruises. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay," he said softly. He closed his eyes. He just wanted to feel her fingers, and pray that somehow they would heal him. She had just told him the one thing he had been waiting for years to hear, and he had to try and talk her out of it. The fact that he couldn't made him happy, but in a matter of minutes, the cancer was the center of attention again. It didn't matter what would transpire, because cancer was going to rule his life.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Joey still examining the brusies. He lifted his hand to her cheek, and used his thumb to wipe a tear away. She slowly closed her eyes, as he gently placed a kiss on her forehead. "Do you know how much I need you?" he asked softly, taking her into his arms.

"Not more than I need you," she returned.

* * * * *

January 02, 2001

Pacey got out the car, leaving his father behind. He reluctantly took the steps to Joey's house, and knocked on the door.

Joey opened the door, and smiled a weak smile, as Alex ran to Pacey, and threw his arms around his legs. Pacey did his best to walk inside. He bent down, and picked the child up, holding him in his arms. "Uncle Pacey, did you come to play?" Alex asked.

"No," Pacey said. "Remember when I told that I was going to live far, far away?" Alex nodded. "Well," Pacey continued, "I came to tell you goodbye, because I'm leaving today."

"Oh," Alex said. He began to wiggle a bit. Pacey put him down, and he ran out of the room.

"He doesn't really understand," Joey said to Pacey. Pacey put his hand out, and Joey grabbed it.

Bessie walked in carrying Alex, who had just stopped crying. "Hey, Pacey," she said, smiling, as she threw her free arm around him to give him a hug. "How's everything going?"

"Pretty lousy," he said.

She nodded. "I figured." She sat Alex on the couch, as he was being the most quiet he had been in his life. "We're going to miss you around here. If there's anything that we can do, I hope you know that you can call us, anytime."

Pacey nodded. "There is one thing. Take care of your sister."

"I could never do that up to your standards," she said with a smile.

He looked at the ground smiling. "I know that."

"Alex," Bessie said, "are you going to tell Uncle Pacey goodbye? It may be a long time before you get to see him again."

Alex didn't move, but he just looked up at Pacey. Pacey knelt beside the couch, and looked at Alex. "Please don't be sad," he said.

"I . . . don't want you to go," Alex said quietly.

"I know," Pacey sighed. "I'm going to miss you very much. Remember, we're going to talk all the time, right?"

"I remember," Alex said.

"Aunt Jo has promised to play all my special games with you while I'm gone, okay?"

"She can't play like you," Alex said.

"Yes I can," Joey said indignantly.

Alex rolled his eyes. Pacey laughed: He could see so much of Joey in Alex. "I'm gong to miss you, Al," Pacey said. "You think you can give me a good hug to tide me over until I can see you again?"

He threw his arms out, and embraced Pacey. "I love you, Uncle Pacey," Alex said softly in Pacey ear.

The tears began to fall from Pacey's eyes. "I love you too," Pacey said. "You be good for mommy and Aunt Jo, okay?"

Alex nodded, as he signaled for Bessie to pick him up. Bessie took him in her arms, and turned her attention back to Pacey. She gave him another hug. "You take care of yourself," she told him. "We want you back as soon as you can."

Pacey smiled affectionately at Bessie. "Thanks for everything, Bes."

"Anytime," she said. "Don't forget to send me a letter once in a while."

"Okay," he said. Bessie squeezed his hand before she left the room with Alex.

He moved to Joey, and took both her hands into his. His tears were flowing freely now. "What do I say to tell you how I feel right now?" she asked.

"If you're like me, you can't say anything."

Her tears, too, began to fall. "I'm going to miss you so much," she said, her head falling into his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm going to miss you too," he whispered.

She looked up at him, and said, "I'm going to be thinking about you every second."

"We're going to talk all the time, right?"

"Yeah," she said. "And I'm going to come and visit during spring break."

"And I'll be back for graduation."

She smiled wearily, and placed her hand over his heart. "And I'll always be here, right?"

"Forever," he said, leaning his forehead against hers. "Everything is going to be okay," he reassured.

"I think it will be."

He inhaled deeply, knowing it would be his last time to smell her. A cough came with his breath, and she looked worried. "It's okay," he said. "I just want to make sure I don't forget a thing about you."

She smiled. "You behave yourself in Carolina, Witter," she said. "No partying or picking up women while I'm not around."

He laughed. "What am I going to do for fun then?"

"Miss me," she said.

"I am already," he whispered.

She gave him a sweet, gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you, Pacey," she whispered.

"I love you too, Jo," he said. Instantly, she could see from his expression that he had to go, and not another word was said.

She followed him, as he walked to the door, not releasing his hand. She threw her arm around his neck, giving him one last hug. He gave her a strong smile. It was his last attempt to let her know that everything would be alright. She closed her eyes, and gently squeezed his hand. As he began to walk away, she wouldn't let him go. He looked at her sadly, as their arms stretched farther apart. Finally, she let her hand fall to the side, as he walked away. While the car drove away, she began to wipe her tears.

* * * * *

The End